Finally I am feeling something that is resembling human again. Ugh. It’s been a LONG 9 weeks LET me tell thee! I wrote at the end of my last blog entry that I was going to try and be more positive but of course nothing I had to say would fit that description in the last 10 weeks or so! But finally I feel a change has come! I’ve been loathe to say this out loud for the last few weeks because I have been following a pattern of feeling okish in the week but spending all weekends puking and feeling drained and lethargic. So it seemed like every time I announced I was feeling better, I would spend the following weekend paying for it!
However. I just had my first weekend in the last 9 weeks in which I DIDN’T PUKE! Hoorah!!!!!!
I am now 15 weeks and into my second trimester. Traditionally most people DO feel better at around 12-15 weeks. This categorically didn’t happen to me in my first pregnancy. I didn’t feel better until 20 weeks. And I vividly remember people telling me that “any day now” I’d feel better and wanting to punch them in the Jackie Danny when I didn’t. In a metaphorical sense, obvs. I am way too much of a wimp to punch someone.
So feeling like this is a little bit of a mini revelation. Don’t get me wrong, I could very easily think myself into puking at any given moment, my stomach is still highly sensitive and I still can’t go NEAR garlic and onions (and therefore any food with any flavour) but in GENERAL….I have more energy and am feeling more positive.
Which was a godsend this weekend as I had a 3 year old’s soft play party to organise and host! Amazingly, my child did NOT behave true-to-form and have almighty tantrums all day. He was an angel! And I feel no embarrassment boasting about this because there have been many MANY occasions where this was not the case and I had to suck up the parental shame of dealing with a screaming brat in Tescos whilst fending off death-ray stares from non-parents (and some pious/cunty parents).
I did have a surreal moment when I was looking around at the room thinking, this is MY child’s party, I organised this, I am a grown up. It was weird! I know I should have grasped that last fact a while ago but sometimes it still surprises me!
Back to prego shiz. So I have started to show. In a very strange way. The top half of my belly has “popped” out whilst the bottom bit, which currently the only part harbouring any babyesque solid mass, is still completely jellified. I mean, I can feel the beginnings of a bump underneath the flab on my lower abdomen but you can’t see it. So my whole tummy just looks like a barrel of fat. But then, I have put on weight from eating rubbish constantly so it looks like fat because it mainly is. It’s just shaped in an off way.
Still haven’t heard a thing from my community midwife. Nice work NHS!
My birthday next week…am going to get pampered to death at the Vale of Glamorgan Hotel and Spa. Can’t wait!!!! Literally this is probably the ONLY thing I am looking forward to until October 29th!
Oh one more thing, I spent last pregnancy looking like a minging dog-face. This time, despite the haggard & aged skin underneath, I am plastering on the make up; waxing to the hilt and making sure there’s not a grey hair in sight on the old bonce. I think it makes a difference. I FEEL less disgusting when I make an effort. Is that a vacuous thing to say?! Don’t answer that…..
Right I am offski. Will try and post a bit more regularly now, you lucky lucky dabbers!