Wednesday, 19 June 2013

I'm not FAT! I'm PREGNANT! Ok I am fat too.

Hey you guys! I’m back. I’ve had a slightly longer absence than I meant to. It’s a combination of family shiz to sort out and money worries….something you’re probably all familiar with right now. But both seem to be back on track now so my distracted mind can come back to the issue in hand…my bulging belly!!!!

Talking of which, I've encountered two people who have not realised that I am pregnant recently. SO obviously both have just assumed I am fatter than the fattest thing ever to waddle the earth. I mean, I know I am big but my belly is very pronounced now and the weird shaped bump is slowly developing into proper preggers roundness….so this is pretty gutting! First was a chemist who admittedly doesn’t know me or see me often. She sold me some ranitidine which last time I asked about (saying I was pregnant) she wouldn’t give me. This time she must of thought, "Christ, with all the crap she must eat, she'll need this!" The second was an old man I see and talk to everyday on the bus stop. I waddle there (yes it’s a bit early to be wadding at 21 weeks but that IS probably cos I am a chub) and when I am there, I spend the time rubbing my back and my belly….what does he think I’m doing?!

So the weather has been a bit disappointing in the last week or so…has it not? But still we had a week of sun….we should be grateful. I’ve noticed that I am sneezing loads even tho I don’t get hay fever. But of course you are hyper sensitive to allergies when you’re duffed up aren’t you? So I must be normally UBER mildly hayfever-ic (?!) and now I am just mildly hayfever-ic/ish/esque….. (Choose your own ending).

Sexy. In NO way. 
I have finally admitted defeat with my wabs and their enormity. I’ve invested in some over-the-
shoulder-boulder-holders from Mothercare to try and regain some control. This includes some REALLY attractive sleep bras. Christ they are ugly. I’ve included a photo of me looking in no way like a pregnancy princess. This is definitely one of the least dignified times of my life. The pinnacle of this being the fact that I have reached the point where even Mothercare’s largest size (20) is a snug fit. Bugger. And the problem is I don’t want to stop eating! I LOOOOOVE it! It’s my MAIN comfort and only treat. And I am someone who needs to treat herself a LOT. As those who followed my weight loss journey will know! Poor, poor Emlyn. I’m on salad only from the 29th Oct. Salad and wine. Wine…hmmmmm……

Oh so apparently, according to the Daily Telegraph, we preggers ladies can drink a glass of wine every day and not risk having kids with ears in the middle of their face, or something. Pour me another! Don’t really, I still get the fear every time I have a glass of wine and leave it at least a week before the next. And lots of people will probably think that’s too much. Tbh the Daily Telegraph is not my normal point of reference for pregnancy guidelines. I turn to the Daily Mail for that. Ha!

I had my anomaly scan last week. It was lovely. But she was so wriggly (still can’t get used to saying she not he!) they couldn’t quite see everything they needed to check so I get an extra bonus scan next week! Woohoo! I am being spoilt with all these scans! She did have most of the things they look for ….arms, legs, diaphragm, kidneys etc. Diaphragm….how can they see that?! Amazing. She still mainly looks like an alien blur to me. A gorgeous alien blur tho, obvs.

In other news, I’ve been craving coleslaw. My aversion to onions seems to have passed mostly altho I am not going to test that by frying a load. But I can eat them without fearing the pukes. Unfortunately my garlic thing is still going strong. And to my utter horror, my mate at work (who I share an office
Look at my photoshop skills! You can hire me for weddings!
with), has just discovered a Vietnamese restaurant he loves. He’s fumigating the office! I need a gas mask just to type a report!


Ok on that note, I am checking out! Until next time homies! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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