Monday, 29 July 2013

Return of the Itch

Well bloody well. It’s been a while hasn’t it bloggites? The simple fact of the matter is, I’ve really not had much cause to write. Life has been plodding on nicely. Well I say nicely. It’s been plodding on, that bit’s true. I’ve (and rest assured I hate myself for this) started to resent the hot weather. I KNOW! I am an utter traitor and terrible, fickle British person! I WAS loving it. I really feel the cold, and I hate it. One of the best feelings in the world for me is that wall of heat that hits you in the face when you step off the plane in a hot country. So to have that kind of heat over here should be an utter blessing. But it’s just got hotter and hotter….and any other year I would LOVE IT I PROMISE! I don’t need any excuses for late night boozy BBQ’s in the garden and going to the beach every weekend and swimming in the sea. I LOVE hot weather! And it doesn’t take much to get me in the sea at the best of times but I would be LOVING it right now........

If we had an air conditioned house.

If the air conditioning was working in the car.

If my office was air conditioned.

But mainly:

If I wasn’t pregnant.

If I wasn’t the fattest I’ve ever been, with puffy hands and ankles and feet, unable to move well
This is what I look like at the moment..
cos of the shooting pains up my left buttock (thanks SPD!), unable to bend over far, certainly not easily able to get up and down off a picnic blanket, let alone stumble over rocks to try and find a decent spot to camp for the day! Definitely not able to paw over rock pools with glee and dig sand castles with moats down to the water and chase my 3 year old and his hat across the windy beach. Nope. Not able to do any of that. Not able to cook, not able to arrange lovely marinades to make my veggie items taste delicious on the barbie. (too pukey making….despite lack of sickness, my appetite for cooking has not yet returned). Not able to pad over to the park with my son in the boiling sun without my heart thundering out of my chest and needing a sit down half way whilst I gasp for breaths and try and stop my head spinning. Not able to sleep because of the heat. The heat means windows open, which means neighbour puffing on fags outside his own back door fills mine and my son’s rooms’ with stinky-poo smoke. It also means that I toss and turn for hours (the slowest toss and turn known to humanity btw considering I have to put my legs together, sit up and move my boob and leg pillows from one side of me to the other, then make sure I have a sheet at least covering my bare butt before settling down again on that side). One toss can literally take 10 minutes. Ha! I never thought I’d be writing that sentence in a blog. And who likes sleeping with just a thin sheet?! I like a 20 tonne duvet weighing me down! I can’t get with this thin, wispy nonsense. I feel EXPOSED!

And the itch. Oh for the love of god the itch. It’s unbearable. It’s never satiated. The second I move from one part of my leg/foot/hand/abdomen I have to start on the bit next to it, then the next, then the next. Because it’s as a result of raised bile acids in my blood, it’s not affected by topical creams/sprays/lotions. The ONLY thing that gives me any relief is cold. So a cold flannel or towel or bath. And it can get so bad, especially when it’s really hot, that my hands are literally weeping with pus and my nails are thick with rolls of ripped up skin & blood underneath them. My legs look like a scag addicts’. And this is just the start. It’s only going to get worse! Waaaaaaaaaaah! How will I cope for the next TWELVE WEEKS?! Ok actually I started taking meds on sat and it’s already a lot better so I am being a bit dramatic. It will get worse and there will be nights where I will be crying my eyes out unable to do anything but scratch but it’s not got that bad yet. ie I think the meds are working for now. So, I am going to move on from this topic now……

I am just about to post another blog entry but I didn’t want the two to be combined as they are both very different in content. This is a little moan-fest but the next entry, I assure you, is nothing but kittens and rainbows. SO bob on over and have read! Ciao! 

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