tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post3926662997144607307..comments2023-11-17T13:09:02.510+00:00Comments on Mrs Helicopter Writes: Parenting. You ARE doing it right. Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-50356209316499051282015-04-03T17:59:21.377+01:002015-04-03T17:59:21.377+01:00I got hit with a ruler at school and had board rub...I got hit with a ruler at school and had board rubbers chucked at my head... Had to do PE in my pants and knickers, forced to drink curdled milk at break time.... Boke! No thanks!!!!Jess Helicopterhttp://mrshelicopter.blogspot.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-33794749400645230462015-04-02T21:58:16.509+01:002015-04-02T21:58:16.509+01:00Yes This! And serious lolz at the Helena Bonham-Ca...Yes This! And serious lolz at the Helena Bonham-Carter comment. Our world is exciting, we are more aware, but you know ours kids don't get caned at school (my husband did) - who wants to go back to that?!Lauranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-91206985061367615492015-04-01T17:43:37.971+01:002015-04-01T17:43:37.971+01:00Thanks Sam. :)Thanks Sam. :)Jess Helicopterhttp://mrshelicopter.blogspot.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-45593795691426639982015-03-31T21:57:41.665+01:002015-03-31T21:57:41.665+01:00I guess it's true that every generation has it...I guess it's true that every generation has it's good and bad bits. My mum points out that she used to lie in bed at night as a child worrying about the consequences of the Cold War. Nowadays its over-population and terrorism and all that malarkey. There is no real 'safe' is there. You've just got to do the best you can. I do think that our generation is learning from past mistakes though - as in, society safeguarding 'at risk' children post Jimmy Saville etc. X Thanks for linking up to #thetruthaboutSamnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-66426506084525681962015-03-31T20:27:55.999+01:002015-03-31T20:27:55.999+01:00Heheh thanks Sarah xxxxHeheh thanks Sarah xxxxJess Helicopterhttp://mrshelicopter.blogspot.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-59528470439519158222015-03-31T20:27:22.312+01:002015-03-31T20:27:22.312+01:00Yeah the irony wasn't lost on me that I was wr...Yeah the irony wasn't lost on me that I was writing about MY opinion in my blog for the world to see! Hehe! :)Jess Helicopterhttp://mrshelicopter.blogspot.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-46291387864375517972015-03-31T20:20:26.248+01:002015-03-31T20:20:26.248+01:00I do think it is all crazy at the moment and it...I do think it is all crazy at the moment and it's because we all know so much about each other! Got to love the web and social media for that gem. Helpful and a hindrance. Completely agree with your end point though...how did we survive and our parents??? #thetruthabout xxSarah Howe @runjumpscrapnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-78510164278790835402015-03-31T20:01:36.942+01:002015-03-31T20:01:36.942+01:00I absolutely agree with you about there being so m...I absolutely agree with you about there being so much pressure around how to parent these days. Most of that is due to the internet and ironically, BLOGS! Everyone has an opinion on everything and people seem to think it's ok to put their oar in where it's not wanted and pass judgement. I think there are massive pros to the internet but also massive cons. I have teenagers and I find what is available to them online both amazing and terrifying in equal measure. Definite pros to both and we are probably all doing our best to keep our kids safe whether it be then or now.Suzanne Whittonhttp://www.3childrenandit.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-11077268250132308412015-03-31T19:41:11.845+01:002015-03-31T19:41:11.845+01:00Hahaha!!!! Fair do's! ;) xxxHahaha!!!! Fair do's! ;) xxxJess Helicopterhttp://mrshelicopter.blogspot.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-36854008371580560362015-03-31T19:15:12.235+01:002015-03-31T19:15:12.235+01:00I agree that it's different, and here's ho...I agree that it's different, and here's how... I wouldn't worry about my kids' safety walking to the park by themselves, but I WOULD worry that some 'helpful' stranger would call 911 and report some neglected children (which is why I don't do it!)<br />#thetruthaboutJenny @ Unremarkable Fileshttp://www.unremarkablefiles.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-55285759768357514742015-03-31T19:02:23.067+01:002015-03-31T19:02:23.067+01:00Heheh yeah I get that too. We're breeding a ge...Heheh yeah I get that too. We're breeding a generation of consumerist capitalist bastards....! Ha! I want my kids to have independence and they won't be Molly coddled. They will be able to walk to school too because I'm way too lazy to walk them if I think I can get a lie in! Thanks for commenting Barb! I love s healthy debate! XxxJess Helicopterhttp://mrshelicopter.blogspot.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-10957340340303583172015-03-31T18:58:08.464+01:002015-03-31T18:58:08.464+01:00Very true about online bullying and access to porn...Very true about online bullying and access to porn. Didn't think about that as well. I just can't stand people being so negative about the present and the future when I think it's such an exciting time to be alive. You're right things were different in the past and there are different challenges now. But I do think lots of things are safer just because there is more awareness. Lots of points! :)Jess Helicopterhttp://mrshelicopter.blogspot.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-36136987579475955592015-03-31T17:06:39.709+01:002015-03-31T17:06:39.709+01:00I think 'safer' should just read 'diff...I think 'safer' should just read 'different' - some things were better then - some are better now. Years ago mothers did not always have to juggle childcare and a job - they often had extended family around to help and communities tended to be closer and more supportive. On the other hand there was much more of a taboo about certain subjects like child abuse and being in care usually meant the opposite of 'care' - parenting is not an easy road whenever you do it but I do think people worry more today though I am not sure why that is. TV never really turned out to be the death of family as we know it which is what people in the 60's claimed would happen and I dont think ipads and smart phones will be now. What I think is more worrying is the prevalence of online bullying and easily accessible porn distorting young boys idea of what life is like. Parents now have to protect their children in different ways from the way they had to when I was young. But it is never an easy job and parents will always feel guilty at not being 'perfect'Sally Palmernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-72679301517533966832015-03-31T16:59:49.957+01:002015-03-31T16:59:49.957+01:00Yep, I think you hit the nail on the head (almost)...Yep, I think you hit the nail on the head (almost). Not that I am really older or have grown up in a less urban surrounding (I group up in a city of about 750,000 people). But more importantly we are having children (or had children) in a VERY different time. Different times, different media influence, different peer pressure, and different fears. <br /><br /><br />And those different times lead to your conclusion, you are glad to live with instant access to information, and I am glad that I didn't have that while my kids were little. Neither of us are right, or wrong, just of very different opinions. <br /><br /><br />As for the creepy guy in the car, my kids walked to school from kindergarten on. Now I should clarify that up until they were 8 and 10 they lived in a small town and day care was two blocks from school. After that though I moved them to city of a million people and they still walked to school. In fact at 9 an 11, they not only had to walk to school but I was a single parent that went to work at 5 am so they also had to get themselves up and ready for school. I made a choice to put the fear of MOM into them, instead of fears of other things. I talked them about things like stranger danger, and taught them how to be street smart, and avoid situations, and to look after each other. They didn't have cell phones. They had to rely on each other. Be safe together. And look after each other. <br /><br /><br />And I happen to think they are pretty awesome, responsible, adults that are well adjusted and will be self supporting. <br /><br /><br />My point isn't that my kids are great, and others aren't. But I see this generation of kids (especially here in Canada) being EXTREMELY ENTITLED. But that is a whole other discussion, hahahaha.Barb Maxwellnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-63677068594771682502015-03-31T16:47:37.456+01:002015-03-31T16:47:37.456+01:00OK I do see your point. But there was a similar in...OK I do see your point. But there was a similar incident around Gus's school the year before he started except that guy was never found and there was no "simple" explanation....there just really had been a creepy guy in a car trying to lure kids in on two separate occasions. That terrifies me. I think it's really interesting that the people who seem to disagree the most about this post are either older or have grown up in less urban surroundings. I would feel safer hovering near my kid in the park than thinking he would be out with his mates, alone. (When he gets old enough). I don't think that's fear bred from media paranoia...i think it's common sense. I think the generalised pressure put on parents from the media about whether we should breastfeed, or have a natural birth or what to feed our kids etc is too much. But I am glad i live in a time where i have instant access to information whenever i want it. I just think we need to take more of it with a pinch of salt.Jess Helicopterhttp://mrshelicopter.blogspot.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-68238870995336248412015-03-31T15:55:52.304+01:002015-03-31T15:55:52.304+01:00Hmmmmm, interesting blog, Jess. We are about the s...Hmmmmm, interesting blog, Jess. We are about the same age, but at much different points in parenting. And just to add my two cents....I am THRILLED that my kids were little long before the internet became our 'norm' and our information source. Thrilled!!! <br /><br />I can't say I agree with our kids being safer today. I don't think knowledge equals safety. And I don't think that because we hover over our kids at the park, or lock our doors at night that makes them 'safer'. <br /><br />Recently in a city near where I grew up there were 3 or 4 reports of a creepy guy in a van around a school. Parents stopped sending their kids on the bus. Drove them or walked with them. Parents stopped letting their kids out to play. A friend of mine wrote a facebook status. And I agree with it wholeheartedly:<br /><br />"Instead of teaching your children to be afraid and driving them everywhere why not teach them how to be safe and to be street smart."<br /><br />It turns out that there never was a creepy guy. It started with a Dad, picking up his son at school. While waiting for his son to come out of the school, he waved and said hello to a kid walking by who was a friend of his son's but the kid didn't recognize him. Ran home and told his Mom that someone tried to kidnap him. This prompted a phone call back to the school, with a warning from the police being sent home and posted on social media. This prompted other kids to report that they saw a creepy guy in a van. And the whole thing was blown out of proportion.<br /><br />Not to say that there aren't creepy guys in vans. But we need to teach our kids differently, in my opinion. <br /><br />When my daughter was about 12, and walking to and from school, she desperately wanted a cell phone. All her friends had one. Her argument was 'what if someone kidnaps me as I walk home from school'? My reply was ' they won't keep you long, they'll bring you right back home. And besides, since all your friends have phones, surely one of them likes you enough to call 911'. She got a phone when she started working and could pay for it herself (by 13).<br /><br />I watch some of my friends raising babies now, that are struggling with all of your social media comments above, and I look back and think I was soooo lucky to not raise my kids in that time. Sooooo lucky.Barb Maxwellnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-59513477410647693032015-03-31T14:21:38.511+01:002015-03-31T14:21:38.511+01:00Which is enough! :0) XxxxWhich is enough! :0) XxxxJess Helicopterhttp://mrshelicopter.blogspot.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-68724121002084533482015-03-31T14:21:08.154+01:002015-03-31T14:21:08.154+01:00He is a good/smart kid, love. You should be proud....He is a good/smart kid, love. You should be proud. It's not that I personally am putting myself under that pressure. It seems that everyone having an opinion about it all over the media which is so in our FACE all the time is adding to pressure we may have felt only from our immediate family and friend's in the past. But also it doesn't depend on how much you let it influence you too. You've always been highly independent and have little regard for the "norm" and I love that about you. :) XxxxJess Helicopterhttp://mrshelicopter.blogspot.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-91140300581840608092015-03-31T11:39:21.457+01:002015-03-31T11:39:21.457+01:00Well said Natalie Ray!Well said Natalie Ray!J Freesenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-24050114322644067262015-03-31T11:38:40.156+01:002015-03-31T11:38:40.156+01:00I tried commenting on this the other day but got a...I tried commenting on this the other day but got all muddle with disqus or what ever it is. Anyway I agree with most of what you have said here, I think the world is more interesting and exciting. Currently my boy is playing in his bedroom with three children who are in Southampton. I can hear all of them. And yes we have in fact met them in person, they are kids. <br />The only thing I don't get is why you would put so much pressure on yourself to be the perfect parent. There is no such thing. We are all going to make some mistakes along the way. My parenting skills are one of the few things I have any real confidence in. I don't read much parenting stuff apart from your blog, but I have read quite a bit about children and learning etc as part of my job. Oh and I was a kid too once so that helps. And I love my boy, so I don't see how I can possibly go wrong. <br />I don't compare my parenting to anyone else, I don't read trashy newspapers, and I barely know one celeb from another. Weather or not I have been successful in my approach remains to be seen, he's not an adult yet, but he sure as hell is a good kid :)J Freesenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-49099034042424485682015-03-30T21:58:35.907+01:002015-03-30T21:58:35.907+01:00I am fed up of people judging me on my parenting s...I am fed up of people judging me on my parenting skills all the time. I do the best I can, I don't need to feel like a fuck up all the time! I love my kids, I do my bestEsther Jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-11785381038917722612015-03-30T16:34:32.830+01:002015-03-30T16:34:32.830+01:00Hahahaha! Nat, i think we are kindred spirits! :D ...Hahahaha! Nat, i think we are kindred spirits! :D XxxJess Helicopterhttp://mrshelicopter.blogspot.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-10446693335346950412015-03-30T16:28:44.635+01:002015-03-30T16:28:44.635+01:00Great post Jess, you are absolutely right of cours...Great post Jess, you are absolutely right of course. I never bothered with any baby / pregnancy groups. Even now, we go every day to various groups like ballet, drama, playgroup etc. and I never pass any more than the time of day with the parents there. Predominantly, this is because I am a loser. But I also have no desire to compare myself with them or compete about how big my house / car / salary / husbands cock is and how much money I am going to spend on my daughter's birthday. We are all trying to do the best for our children and I think it's important to take advice only from people who we genuinely trust, not random people who don't like the way we do things.xNatalie Raynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-5447637080810864622015-03-30T14:14:28.335+01:002015-03-30T14:14:28.335+01:00Yes the blogging community is the best way to real...Yes the blogging community is the best way to realise you're not alone and even if you think you're the most pants mum in the world, you'll see you're not! There's always someone else flailing about and blogging it up for us to read in amusement and agreement. :) Thanks Alana!Jess Helicopterhttp://mrshelicopter.blogspot.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-59840798623509542762015-03-30T14:07:04.844+01:002015-03-30T14:07:04.844+01:00I completely agree that there's too much info ...I completely agree that there's too much info out there ... I joined Baby Centre when I was pregnant, but couldn't put up with all the "advice" and comparisons on the message boards. Even the good old baby books pile the pressure on though, I felt like a failure when I stopped breastfeeding because that's what the first half of my book focused on ... It was the single most important topic! <br />I've found the internet is best for reading other blogs about mothers stumbling along like me, rather than reading the "proper" way to bring up a baby (strict routines etc).<br />A great post to make you think!<br />Alana x<br />www.babyholiday.wordpress.comAlana Perrinnoreply@blogger.com