tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3253715414188941432024-03-14T07:04:24.343+00:00Mrs Helicopter WritesWriting about feminism, mental health, parenting, popular culture etc. A chronic oversharer, very silly but very unfunny about systemic racism/misogyny & homophobia.Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-89540151080622897542023-09-25T16:00:00.000+01:002023-09-25T16:00:00.933+01:00Who Can EVER Sleep?<p></p><p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEoZdMwpD20em5bZ19gHSJeyruHVWngKv-vdcUIG9eXux6mvn7lzQwGmpN3G-xOYMK6NuSZADY79XhUeAf9a-C2dVF3Dj2iL3Q-1GtGEyW7K49Y2XBJAKUNzEr-sTV32UY8KoYnxYevwm2yA21dBReEnNhWHJlvJUQQxnWES2Ti6ClnIpKe1PIiwx22nnf/s739/Starts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="387" data-original-width="739" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEoZdMwpD20em5bZ19gHSJeyruHVWngKv-vdcUIG9eXux6mvn7lzQwGmpN3G-xOYMK6NuSZADY79XhUeAf9a-C2dVF3Dj2iL3Q-1GtGEyW7K49Y2XBJAKUNzEr-sTV32UY8KoYnxYevwm2yA21dBReEnNhWHJlvJUQQxnWES2Ti6ClnIpKe1PIiwx22nnf/w640-h336/Starts.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">If
you're someone who struggles to sleep *flings hand up* then you are possibly obsessed,
like me, with how other people sleep. How do people sleep? How can anyone EVER sleep?! <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">You
may be one of those super lucky people who can sleep on a chicken’s lip! You
put your head on the pillow and poof! You're asleep! You absolute lucky dabber.
My relationship with sleep has always been weird. Apparently, I slept well as a
baby. I was a very early riser, but I needed my bed early. I remember in Junior
school my bedtime was always earlier than my friends. Boo! No Adrian Mole for me! But if I got overtired, I
would get really nauseous and often actually vom. (Bad times for my vom-averse
mother!) <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">As
an adult I've had lots of bouts of bad sleep especially during stressful
periods. I remember visiting a lavender farm in Oz and left convinced that the
"sleep balm" I'd bought held the key to the secrets of sleep! It
didn't. My pregnancies were tricky, and sleep was difficult especially when the
cholestasis (itching thing) kicked in but taking piriton definitely helped keep
me asleep after I eventually drifted off. THANKFULLY during newborn stages
insomnia did NOT rear his ugly head and I could sleep when I was actually
able. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">My
sleep obsession has meant that I am very aware of sleep hygiene. I have a cool,
dark bedroom, cotton sheets, few electronics in my room, no caffeine after 4pm,
exercise most days, no late night snacks, no blue light on my phone and I only
watch <a href="http://www.mrshelicopter.com/2016/05/asmr-is-killing-my-anxiety-insomnia.html" target="_blank">ASMR</a> videos
on my phone before I fall asleep. I also have used meditation apps, but I struggle
with the concentration needed so I find ASMR more relaxing. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">But
in 2018 I had a bout of <a href="http://www.mrshelicopter.com/2018/04/if-you-think-anxiety-is-fun-try-new.html" target="_blank">meta-anxiety</a>.
Since then, I've managed to convince myself that I absolutely AM a permanent
insomniac. My sleep was deeply affected by a prolonged, months long episode of
anxiety attacks. And the more I couldn't sleep, either at night or in the day
when trying to catch up, the worse I felt. It was a complete vicious
circle. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">That
episode, coupled with my awareness of maybe being <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/325371541418894143/8954015108062289754" target="_blank">neurodiverse</a> and learning that I am peri-menopausal (insomnia
is common in menopause and with ADHDers), has definitely added to the narrative
I've been telling myself. I CAN NOT SLEEP, UNAIDED, EVER. So, I take over the
counter sleep aids (antihistamines), melatonin or a very limited prescription
of sleeping pills. And obvs wine other nights although that's usually
counterproductive as I am sure you know. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">But
the problem is that I've now fully convinced myself that I can't actually sleep
a wink unless I take something (recent new addition... CBD drinks!). This is
obviously due to being an anxious person. I fixate and tell myself repeatedly
things that aren't actually true so that I eventually believe that they are.
It's one of the single most annoying habits I have and it's exhausting. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I
have spent the summer worrying about sleep and then proving to myself that
actually I CAN sleep without any aid whatsoever, even if that means I take
hours to get to sleep. I DO sleep. It's not ideal because 5 days a week I have
to get up early so not being able to sleep til 1-2am isn't great. The pull
of a pill that promises a full night’s sleep IS so hard to resist. The
idea of sweet, sweet oblivion for 7 maybe even 8 hours is immense. But I need
to remember that I will function on 5-6 hours too. And stop telling myself
LIES! I DO SLEEP. I WILL SLEEP.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Do
YOU SLEEP? Tell me how you sleep! Tell me how much you sleep. I need to hear
your stories. Tell me I’m not alone! <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span><p></p><p></p>Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-78599649796076779622023-06-06T14:31:00.001+01:002023-06-06T14:31:04.969+01:00JUST YOU WAIT, Said no kind person ever. TEEN VERSION.<p></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcUd9tZSc9U30_1orgY6EvBVpfQWpRMyOX4KtnWDei_bxhj7XGaLrrX0M2ewrsV-iHDV_3RFjzCv1GlKNooxzgbDL8uq925lxcnRA44H_SZZ7N0F5phSZ0nMZOyXCrPrCnk4yKr0qte4F6qi0dp_PYyCtYqRKUWK2fRTwm67eRhG6KGw1dvN_atKFlVQ/s739/danger%20high%20voltage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Danger High Voltage Sign" border="0" data-original-height="387" data-original-width="739" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcUd9tZSc9U30_1orgY6EvBVpfQWpRMyOX4KtnWDei_bxhj7XGaLrrX0M2ewrsV-iHDV_3RFjzCv1GlKNooxzgbDL8uq925lxcnRA44H_SZZ7N0F5phSZ0nMZOyXCrPrCnk4yKr0qte4F6qi0dp_PYyCtYqRKUWK2fRTwm67eRhG6KGw1dvN_atKFlVQ/w400-h210/danger%20high%20voltage.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><br />Ah shite. I’ve
become THAT mum. The mum of a teen who wants to scream JUST YOU WAIT! I mean, I
say I WANT to scream because I know I shouldn’t. But I did, accidentally, to a
colleague the other day. She was talking about her niece battling a newly emerged
three-anger from a very docile 2 yr old.<o:p></o:p></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">And it just
came out by mistake.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">I was mid-way
through half term, half working, half battling bored kids. Stressed, thinking
about all the things I need to do and haven’t done.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><o:p> </o:p>So, I blurted
it. “Ugh, she should wait til they’re teens! Constant but incomprehensible
anger, unmitigated selfishness and they NEVER go to bed”.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">My colleague,
bless her, defended her niece. As well she should. “Well, she’s finding it pretty
tough”. I felt awful. Of course, she is! Having a small, unreasonable being who
doesn’t know if they want peas/chips/yogurt even when they have it in their
hands, is exhausting. The tantrums leave you wrecked, you’ve likely been awake super
early, no daytime naps to have down time and you’ve got bedtime to contend
with. No one EVER needs to hear at that stage, that it gets worse.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">Preteens and
teens are a much easier phase in the parenting timeline, in general. It’s not unrelenting
work, anxiety, and exhaustion. There’s lots more sleep, which makes everything
easier to cope with. There’s so much more independence. No physically getting
small, unwieldy arms into coats and wriggly feet into socks. No bum wiping
WOOOHOO! No fetching drinks and snacks (although the request for these items
has doubled from the teen, where do they put it all?!). And loads of the time
they just want to get on with their own stuff.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">But, it is a
BIT hard work, isn’t it? Like this sweet, funny, shy boy who would eat anything
pretty much now freaks OUT if his dinner isn’t Buldak super-hot noodles with a soft-boiled
egg and spring onions cut up on it. If I dare to make anything remotely healthy
that he was more than happy to eat literally LAST YEAR, it’s major kick off
time. I’m talking stir fry, chilli, bolognese, lentil dhal and rice, quorn korma….
I mean not totally disgusting foods?! (No liver & onions here!). Even if we
suggest previous fail-safes: pizza, chip shop chips or pasta pesto the result
is often “OHMYGOOOOOOD” followed by door slamming. It’s such an odd thing to
get angry about. The unpredictability of when the food angers will appear as
well?! Flip!</span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKeH6ti3iGoxN3gCobCEIJkIc-dOx3PuuHRE0xiZSWWN61hfQtW24NcW2KCzEvoK1gAXZ837L60QGQFDjkkt3ciKHW_iz0de3eL_9CJNmRhDSP0e9thaPt8FjnCHq1WTslJTIDjUQ5g2wa8zb4vee40v-4pt1xappDi8q76uZj0_HDKkc9vHrcxkSAjw/s540/ad1dd050-6719-41c8-beb1-f766fa9e35f3_534581348.jpeg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKeH6ti3iGoxN3gCobCEIJkIc-dOx3PuuHRE0xiZSWWN61hfQtW24NcW2KCzEvoK1gAXZ837L60QGQFDjkkt3ciKHW_iz0de3eL_9CJNmRhDSP0e9thaPt8FjnCHq1WTslJTIDjUQ5g2wa8zb4vee40v-4pt1xappDi8q76uZj0_HDKkc9vHrcxkSAjw/s320/ad1dd050-6719-41c8-beb1-f766fa9e35f3_534581348.jpeg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><b>Must-have teen nosh</b></span></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">In fact, the
explosive anger and inability to see their actions as selfish is something I really
struggle with. I KNOW it’s hormones. I know <a href="https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn10030-why-adolescents-put-themselves-first/" target="_blank">teen brains are wired</a> to be self-absorbed
so that they can sponge up all the knowledge they need to grow. It is a really
hard time for them emotionally and I still remember the confusion of being stuck
between being a kid and being an adult.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">But knowing
it intellectually and trying not to instinctively react to a kid who is talking
to you as if you were a) a moron b) his servant is veeeeery hard. Because
usually my instinct is to bellow his name VERY loudly and I don’t often win the
inner battle to remain calm.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">Also,
evenings are no longer your own. Just as we’ve done one bedtime with the
preteen which is a protracted process marked by PDA and other potentially ASD trickiness,
the teen then wants attention all to himself.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">I understand.
This is his time with us solo. If he wants to watch a film, then that’s fab. I
get to veg & we get to chill together. But loads of times he’s hyper and jumping
up and down and winding the kitten up and doing impressions of me (does anyone
else’s kid do this?! It drives me BONKERS) and asking me 400000 questions which
he then doesn’t listen to the answer to. And then asking for snacks JUST as it’s
time to go up for bed. WHY THEN?! <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">All this
being <s>moaned about</s> said I would NOT go back to toddler times. I love
seeing my mini adults emerge. It IS a better time of life and despite the angers,
I am proud of who my teen is becoming. It’s hard but it’s ok. Yey!</span></p><p></p>Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-22648962690285534332022-04-11T16:27:00.008+01:002022-04-11T16:27:45.947+01:00Have I got ADHD?<p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"></span><br />Have you been seeing a lot of posts about adult ADHD and how
it presents in women? How it presents so differently to boys and can be masked
so much that many women are only now just discovering they have it?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLOVaUPYNvQCq6lBkcDY1VkJGdDVTmP3cEMp3kWsonUdETekQsgHTli_a0bccRJ48TgUD9WAOu9qy_Bnr2vdNrCs6FxuHTRtDlW80yp9FMLqsLiMT1C8uiGDGFoYffJEJ8GYWvJO2l3uVLjPEDHTOLm7R3qXbHf4e9arpdbLX-i3g30M-fouAv0qFSLA/s2048/100737ef-15f9-4f85-b3a8-d2cb4045bb70.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLOVaUPYNvQCq6lBkcDY1VkJGdDVTmP3cEMp3kWsonUdETekQsgHTli_a0bccRJ48TgUD9WAOu9qy_Bnr2vdNrCs6FxuHTRtDlW80yp9FMLqsLiMT1C8uiGDGFoYffJEJ8GYWvJO2l3uVLjPEDHTOLm7R3qXbHf4e9arpdbLX-i3g30M-fouAv0qFSLA/w320-h240/100737ef-15f9-4f85-b3a8-d2cb4045bb70.jpg" title="Dopamine chasing on a swing" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Dopamine Chasing on a swing, or am I???</span></td></tr></tbody></table></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">According to my newsfeed of Instagram, TikTok and Facebook, almost
every adult woman I know is seeking or has got an ADHD diagnosis. How could it
be that prevalent and so badly missed by medical science? *Hollow laugh* I
mean, we know the answer to that don’t we. #womensproblems<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">However, it’s very possible you can’t relate at all to what I
am writing. You’ve not seen many, if any posts about adult ADHD and you definitely
don’t relate to the characteristics that can nod to a diagnosis. The wonder of
the algorithm! <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">One of the things about ADHD is that people diagnosed have <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/adhd-dopamine">lower levels of
dopamine,</a> the reward-pleasure chemical in your brain. And one way of
seeking dopamine hits is social media. So, my chicken and egg situation with “how
have I suddenly got loads of friends with ADHD on my Insta feed” is now
clearer. It’s those of us who endlessly scroll, like, share and gorge on memes for
the sweet dopamine vibes who are most likely to be posting about it too. A big
chunk of my real-life friends have no social media and if they do, they aren’t
on there 24/7. And they most definitely aren’t diagnosed with ADHD. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">So, after clicking and liking and reading more memes and
watching TikTok’s where I was like OMG THAT’S ME! And even listening to
podcasts where people talked about their diagnoses, I began to think that it
was something I should consider too. The one that stood out for me was Shappi Khorsandi
talking about <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/shaparak-khorsandi-neurodiversity-names-gonzo/id1584491956?i=1000538392548">going
to festivals</a> (skip to 12:24 to hear) and staying to the bitter end. This
was a bit of a light bulb for me. I have actually told several counsellor’s
that I was always the last one standing and I “never wanted the party to end”.
I would drink bully people to staying up with me all night because I just didn’t
want the fun to stop. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I had dismissed a potential diagnosis initially because one
of the main characteristics of ADHD is disorganisation and being messy. I am
super organised and tidy. I have lists and budgets and calendars and a paper
diary that I manually fill every year with every birthday and holiday. I write
down all the kids school things and the days they need to be wearing a green
jumper for “football saves lives” or whatever shiz the school have got their begging
bowl out for that week. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">But the more I read the more I thought… hold up. Could this be
the reason why at the ripe old age of 45 I’ve never had anything remotely
resembling a relevant career? This March marks the 20<sup>th</sup> anniversary
of working at a job I started temping in back in the day. *Embarrassed groan*.
I’m being flippant about it but the relief actually made me cry. The thought
that it might not be all my fault that I felt useless, lazy and shit in school
and colossally embarrassed about the fact that I’ve never managed to work in a
field remotely related to my degree let alone carve out any sort of successful
career. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">So, then I wrote a list of other ways I could relate to the
symptoms: <a name="_Hlk96957837"><o:p></o:p></a></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Inability to
concentrate on anything, ever. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Not being able to
sit still (this is especially annoying in a cinema or theatre)<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Even if I am
watching a film, reading a book or watching a concert I am LOVING I will count
down the minutes until I can leave/finish. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Insomnia<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Impulsive shopping /
terrible with money <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Binge eating
disorder / drink too much<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Anxiety<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Addicted to social
media<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Terrible short-term
memory<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;">Impulsive blurting….
I’ve got into endless trouble as a blogger when I write about things/people
without thinking properly about the repercussions. I even have a blog post “Big
mouth strikes again”. </span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;">☹
Especially not fun if you actually hate confrontation.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Short tempered and
no patience. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Finishing people’s
sentences<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Talking over people
(I try not to do this because I know it’s rude, usually I do it but apologise
and try really hard to keep trying to remember my point whilst they finish
talking)<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Can’t do one thing
at a time, always doing multiple things. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">In school all school
reports were “easily distracted, always talking, disruptive” “capable” but “not
reaching full potential”. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Would spend more
time devising elaborate revisions schedules than revising. Revising was
horrendous. (Classic procrastination)<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Cannot stand
monotony. Cannot do things repetitively without losing my mind. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk96957837;">I hate being alone.
I always need people or noise. If I am alone, I have the radio or a podcast on.
I </span>can’t do boring jobs like cleaning the kitchen without listening to
the radio or a podcast.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I think you’ll agree, if you know anything about it, these
seem pretty definitive, don’t they? So, guess what guys, plot twist!!!! I went
for a referral. Filled in a huge questionnaire (as did my parents), it took me
a week to fill in because, you know, concentration is a bust for me! And I ended
up writing 3k plus words. And they wrote back within 2 weeks to tell me they
weren’t sending me for an assessment. BUMMER. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I was gutted. I mean, I do understand. The NHS is under huge
pressure. They don’t have the money to send everyone who decides they’ve got a
diagnosis from Facebook through a costly assessment process. Especially when
there are people who really need extra support. I just wanted to be told I’m
not shit. I don’t want medication and I don’t know how a diagnosis would help me
going forward other than boosting my self-esteem. In those terms it’s super
easy to accept the non-referral. But now I just feel stuck in a kind of limbo. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">But. One of the things I am the worst for is labels. I like
to find big fat labels for things and stick them metaphorically on to the “thing”.
It helps my brain sort out the world into understandable bits. But this is a
very black and white approach. And the world isn’t black and white. There is nuance
in everything, and I need to be more accepting of this. So, I don’t have a label
for myself and my weird ways. Ok. Now I need to just accept it and move on. And
I am definitely not immediately picking up my phone and looking at ADHD TikTok’s
right now….</span><o:p></o:p></p>Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-67659590046031262832019-08-06T23:56:00.000+01:002019-08-06T23:56:46.068+01:00What advice would I give a friend who wants to lose weight?<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fG_cV3DZnzc/XUmXov_guII/AAAAAAAA6Rk/O8sb-wKB7bYssxtyco1v5R0Ysjb-6-RBACLcBGAs/s1600/Mrs%2BHelicopter%2Bwrites.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fG_cV3DZnzc/XUmXov_guII/AAAAAAAA6Rk/O8sb-wKB7bYssxtyco1v5R0Ysjb-6-RBACLcBGAs/s320/Mrs%2BHelicopter%2Bwrites.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10pt;">This is going to be a bit of an unusual post for me. Normally
I launch straight into my opinions about parenting or some outrage about human
rights. Today I’m going down a more personal route.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I am going to write to about health. What advice would I give
a friend who was looking to get healthier? I am being careful with my words
here for a number of reasons. Obviously I am talking about losing weight. My
real life friends know weight is something I struggle with constantly. I have
done since I was in my late teens. I’m actually even cautious to use the words
“struggle” when it comes to weight because I don’t want to convey a message of
negativity to those who are large and happy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I’m a massive champion of body positivity. There are lots of
reasons people are overweight / obese and none of them are laziness or greed,
the common misconceptions. So I applaud anyone who out and out rejects societal
pressure to adhere to a specific “acceptable” BMI and embraces their size/shape
with confidence and enthusiasm. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I have written before about how you shouldn’t worry how <a href="http://www.mrshelicopter.com/2017/06/wobbly-but-naked-embrace-it.html" target="_blank">wobbly you are naked,</a> just embrace it. I have no shame about showing my chunky
body on the beach. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">However. I am not happy at my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">current</i> size. I feel unhealthy. I feel unfit. I am scared of
sitting on certain chairs or seats in case they’re not built for my weight. I
actually worry when I get in my bath, whether the pressure of my weight and the
water might be too much for the floor boards. I worry that the reason my new
bed has started creaking is because I am putting so much weight on it every
night. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I am struggling to do things which should be basic. When I
stand up, my ankles can seize up a bit from the shock of the weight. When I go
to the loo and twist back to get bog roll…my back hurts! Bending over to paint
my toes is really hard now. This is humiliating to admit. For all the body
positivity in the world, sometimes the reality of being a larger lady isn’t
that fun. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I put my anti-depressants up last year after a bout of
anxiety. I’ve put on 2 stone. And I was already obese before that. SSRI’s are
linked with weight gain although there seems to be disputes as to the reasoning
behind this. But whatever the reason, my focus now is, that I want to be
healthier. A healthier weight that I am more comfortable with. Not a “skinny”
weight so I can look the way magazines tell me I should. But a weight where
more of my clothes fit, I feel less self-conscious walking up a hill or eating
in public, or finally so I am not so ashamed when people ask me about my
gastric band (because they don’t understand how it didn’t work).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I am seeing a counsellor to help me understand the reasons
why I over eat. Often it can be really hard to be kind to yourself. But he
pointed out that I should think about the advice I would give to a friend who
is struggling with their weight. It’s much easier to be kind to others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">So here is the advice I would give. Treat yourself better.
Understand what this means. “Treating” yourself doesn’t mean eating a cake or
having a glass of wine. Treating yourself means taking care of your body and
your mind. What would your BODY like you do for it? It would probably quite
like a bit of fruit, maybe a salad. Maybe a run or a swim? Then a good night’s
sleep. That’s what your BODY wants. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Your body’s probably a bit sick of that 30<sup>th</sup> bag
of crisps this week that you’re emptying down your throat. Your body probably
doesn’t want a glass of wine because it’s tired and dehydrated. It probably
doesn’t want that coffee either. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Make better choices. Have a camomile tea with some honey! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">And why? Why make these healthier choices? You may feel like
you “deserve” to have a squidgy cake and a creamy latte, but what does your kid
deserve? Does he deserve a mum who eats healthy? Does he deserve a mum who
nourishes her body? And your body! Your body doesn’t deserve cake sugar and full
fat dairy products! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">My counsellor asked me what fuels my desire to adjust my
relationship with food. He deduced it wasn’t a lack of confidence in how I looked
(I was right…embrace the naked!) but my need to give my kids a healthy parent.
One who they can look to as a role model. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">To lose weight you need to change your habits and your
lifestyle. You want a healthy body so you can live a longer more energetic
life. If your core value is to be a good mother, then one of your main
priorities should be to make healthier choices. Then you can be that healthier,
more energetic parent. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Also I am very good at black and white thinking. I think in
extremes. I sometimes feel like this is the only way I can deal with things…. Either
go all in or don’t bother. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This is also my attitude to weight loss. I’ll be insanely
disciplined for days, sometimes weeks. Then I’ll allow despair to kick in and I’ll
completely sabotage my own efforts. What this translates to is, I’ll have lost
a good chunk of pounds, suddenly have a “fuck it, why bother” moment and scoff
a load of rubbish and *50 bottles of wine. Sabotaging any progress and
destroying my positivity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The normal reaction to “falling off the wagon” would be to
get back on. But I won’t. I will go to town and gorge on everything I’ve deprived
myself off (for all of 4 days). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This needs to stop. I need to find a way to let myself make
mistakes, to acknowledge the fallibility and move on. Move on into the GREY area,
rather than the black and white extremes. Try the middle ground.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">To be honest, I am daunted. I have doubts. I don’t feel
confident in my ability to change. But I am going to try. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">If you like, I’ll keep you updated. Because if I can do it,
then anyone can. Let’s kick some unhealthy habits into touch!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">*exaggeration. Probs only 20. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-42367764834491067282019-07-30T15:22:00.000+01:002019-07-30T15:25:30.183+01:00Got Small Kids? It DOES Get Easier. <div class="m_3702758056183642352m_6320717773780666041gmail-MsoNoSpacing" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #404040; letter-spacing: 0.02em; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 1.5em;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--ot03whMZr8/XUBR2uEMb6I/AAAAAAAA52I/bv3yJdzFYmkT9pdgxbOtVKeQpG5l812zACLcBGAs/s1600/65811584_2390120391051086_4390023507900104704_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="750" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--ot03whMZr8/XUBR2uEMb6I/AAAAAAAA52I/bv3yJdzFYmkT9pdgxbOtVKeQpG5l812zACLcBGAs/s320/65811584_2390120391051086_4390023507900104704_n.jpg" width="320" /></span></a><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Got
small kids? It gets easier. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">When
I had my first baby, I noticed that whenever he appeared to be peaceful,
certain people couldn’t WAIT to tell me what awful things I had to come. Not
sleeping through? WAIT til the terrible TWOS! Terrible twos? Wait til he’s a
threeanger! You think you have problems now, wait til they’re an ACTUAL
TEENAGER! BE GRATEFUL. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Actually,
this is not very helpful thing to a new mum. Or in fact, ANY mum. You may be
greeted with a wan smile if you say this to someone but inside that person will
be swearing at you. Because NO one wants to hear that things get worse. Stop
it! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I
often think about whether or not I actually would have wanted to know how hard
I found EVERYTHING from pregnancy onwards. I’ve had many a conversation since
with fellow parents starting “no one ever tells you …. *insert awful
realisation about parenthood here*…” But would I have REALLY wanted to know? <br clear="all" style="mso-special-character: line-break; page-break-before: always;" />
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; letter-spacing: 0.02em;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Would
I have wanted to know that:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">a)
Pregnancy is sometimes not brilliant. Not everyone loves it. Not everyone
“blooms”. Sometimes it’s miserable, and hard and horrible. And if it’s your
first, you will probably feel terrible guilt because you haven’t enjoyed it.
Who can’t even do pregnancy right? *raises hand*<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">b)
Childbirth is sometimes (a lot of times) really traumatic. Not physically.
Everyone expects that. But emotionally. And if you have any kind of trauma,
you’ll probably feel guilty about that. Who can’t even give birth properly?!
*raises hand* <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">c)
Breastfeeding doesn’t “come naturally”! It’s really hard. Everyone finds it
hard. Even those who go on to feed their kids until their 12. And if your child
doesn’t thrive because you can’t feed him and you have to express and or use formula
which will make you feel guilty too. Who can’t even breastfeed? *raises hand*<br clear="all" style="mso-special-character: line-break; page-break-before: always;" />
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; letter-spacing: 0.02em;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">In
fact the ONLY thing I was prepared for was lack of sleep. And that was
bearable. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I
don’t think I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">would have</i> wanted to
know beforehand. I would have been scared shitless. As I was, when they handed
that bundle of cuteness over to me in the hospital and expected me to keep him
alive for the next 18 years. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">One
thing I became obsessed with once I’d had my first, and I mean literally weeks
after he was born, was how the HELL do I do it again? I knew I wanted more than
one kid. I wanted loads. But I knew realistically I could probably only cope
with one more. How though? How do I go through all that again AND have another
small child to look after? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">THIS
is what I want to tell you. You don’t. You don’t go through it all again. You
may have another hard pregnancy, but you know it ends. You may have another
traumatic birth, but you know that it goes by in a blur. You may even struggle
to feed again. But you will NEVER have that terrifying wave of responsibility
crushing you when your new baby is handed over. Because you’ve already had it.
You’ve accepted your lot. You’ve acclimatised to the feeling of 24/7 parenthood
vigilance. And it’s ok. <br clear="all" style="mso-special-character: line-break; page-break-before: always;" />
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The
only difference in your life will be the amount of time you get to rest. That
definitely changes. For a few years all waking hours before 8pm are relentless.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">After
that though, it SPEEDS away. Suddenly they’re going into primary school years
and you have to think about high school and wtf?! They were 3 last week! And it
gets SO much easier. Sure kids go through bastard phases, but in general life
is CHILL. They’re so much more independent. You don’t spend hours of the day
wishing they weren’t crying or screaming because they’re actually just playing
with their lego or their mates. And they’re ace company. And you don’t have to
wipe their bums, or fetch snacks and drinks every 2 minutes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">You
can <s>watch a tv programme</s> do some work because they’re in their rooms
doing something for longer than the attention span of a gnat. You can finish a
cup of tea. You could have a little nap. They can get up and get themselves
breakfast. (this might include arguments but sssssh, don’t spoil it). <br clear="all" style="mso-special-character: line-break; page-break-before: always;" />
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; letter-spacing: 0.02em;">I
look back at their toddler years and think, why is it so long ago? It felt like
it lasted a million years at the time. When all you did was slave away. But now
my babies won’t stop growing! But it’s lush really. And it isn’t harder or worse.
It’s MUCH better. It’s what I expected and hoped motherhood would be. And I
anticipate that the teens will be a challenge but for now, I am immersing
myself in the easy years and relishing every second. The easy years ARE a
thing. It DOES get easier. For now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<br /></div>
Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-27549709050217218922019-03-06T22:04:00.000+00:002019-03-06T22:04:02.842+00:00For All The Glorious Women In My Life<br />
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For
International Women’s Day I want to celebrate all the glorious
women in my life. I’m so lucky to have some amazing ladies around
me. I thought about trying to write something worthy. Something about
trying to celebrate unheard women’s voices from around the world,
but as <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2019/feb/28/david-lammy-stacey-dooley-comic-relief-white-saviour-row-uganda-red-nose-day-film" target="_blank">David Lammy </a>pointed out about Comic Relief, it’s time we let
their own voices be heard. We don’t need another white, middle
class woman clumsily trying to write about inclusivity, without
awareness of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_privilege" target="_blank">privilege</a> or agency on the subject.</span></div>
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So.
I’m just gonna write about my mates and my family. My female loves.
To tell them how much I appreciate them, need them and adore them.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><u>The
Girls Who Are My Rocks</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I
don’t have a “girl gang” or “tribe”. But I have a fantastic
selection of super close friends who I’ve made since leaving
school. They’re an eclectic bunch. I met them all over the place:
Uni, work, friends of friends, family friends I’ve known since we
were teens, Zumba, baby classes (which weirdly wasn’t the reason I
signed up to NCT classes but was the reason I returned), some through
my kid's schools and a chunk I’ve met through writing.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These
are the girls I turn to for coffee or messenger/whats app convos
about homework or inset days. The girls I go for coffee with after
school drop off, who made maternity leaves cope-able, the ones who
took me to soft play cos I couldn’t drive, the ones who I gossip
with endlessly about school politics. The ones who made my mornings
bearable when I wanted to cry after another battle on the school run
or even worse in the playground (with everyone staring...don’t tell
me you haven’t been there!).
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There
are the girls I spent my 20s getting drunk and ridiculous with. The
ones with history. Our kids are different ages, everyone is at
different stages but we still make time to check in on each other as
much as we can. And never let it go too long without wine and food
and longer conversations that won’t fit into our whats app group
chats. These are the girls who know all my secrets, I can turn to for
anything and have been there for me through thick and thin.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There
are the girls I don’t see so much because we don’t live close but
we chat almost daily if not weekly (thanks whats app again!). Ones
who when we get together no one comes up for air for 5 hours
straight. The girls I can talk to about almost anything and who make
me laugh til I cry (or at least annoy my husband when I am weeping
hysterical tears over my phone).
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There’s
the friends who are close but also double up as WHOLE family friends
so the kids and the blokes get on and we spend the whole days trying
to fit in “catching up” conversations, food, “appropriate”
conversations (hard) and slurping coffee whilst herding kids around
National Trust properties (cliché) in a bid to exhaust them so we
can shove them in front of a film at home, open the booze, swear
freely and lament our “going out” days.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><u>The
Women Who Made Me</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.mrshelicopter.com/2016/02/my-mum-is-awesome-i-just-didnt-always.html" target="_blank">My Mum</a>. The second person I ring in an emergency. Or the first if it’s
a ridiculous emergency (most of the time and not really an
emergency). The person who’s advice I may ignore but I want it
anyway, the person who is honest, who wants the best for me, who
supports me but keeps me grounded. The person who I giggle at with
about nothing annoying my husband and dad simultaneously, the person
who will pour the wine whether its good news or bad or will let me
weep on her sofa when I’m not able to adult. The person who always
told me I was beautiful when I was sad, and never expected too much
when I was in school, never made me feel pressured to be a certain
way or fit in any mould. The person who bought me up to never
question my equality with the opposite sex. The best person to go on
a spa day with.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My
long departed Nana, who loved me unconditionally. Spoilt me rotten
and made me feel like the most special little girl in the world.
She’s probably to blame for my terrible ego to be fair. The person
who’s house I hid in during my monstrous teenage years. The
kindest, silliest, loveliest person. She was my foundation. I was so
lucky to have had her.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My
crazy Grandmother. She’s not a saint, she’s made me cry many
times. But she’s also given me a wild yearning to travel, to know
about other cultures, to know about history, her history and my
dad’s. She’s hilarious and fun and bonkers, and despite the
crying I know she loves me fiercely and I her too. She’s one of the
most sociable people I've ever met and I think I get her need for
company from her.
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I
need my girls. All these women enhance my life in ways I can barely
begin to describe. I haven’t really done any of them enough justice
and this is a ludicrously self indulgent post. But I just wanted to
share how lucky I am to have them all in my life. And this
International Women’s Day I will be celebrating them all!
</span></div>
<br />Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-57948506042619996102019-02-17T19:46:00.000+00:002019-02-17T19:48:10.202+00:00Sex Tapes and Selfies: In Defence of Kim Kardashian. <br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-njc_u4E8-dU/XGm6ZchDiyI/AAAAAAAA2Tk/gfdmVwnE0jwCERAcUtMvIx1W4hrBs1dEACLcBGAs/s1600/_103305643_gettyimages-988446290.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="371" data-original-width="660" height="178" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-njc_u4E8-dU/XGm6ZchDiyI/AAAAAAAA2Tk/gfdmVwnE0jwCERAcUtMvIx1W4hrBs1dEACLcBGAs/s320/_103305643_gettyimages-988446290.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Keeping up with
the Kardashians…. A programme that divides and unites. I’m
assuming that you’ve seen at least one episode but even if you
haven’t, you’ll have most definitely seen and heard about the
various members of the family. In my experience it tends to unite
people in their shared negative opinions about their vacuous, vain,
uber-privileged life style and perceived lack of discernible talent.
I am here today to put forward an argument that most of the vitriol
aimed at this family, in particular the daughters and specifically
KIM, is based on <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internalized_sexism#Internalized_misogyny" target="_blank">internalised misogyny</a> and double standards and that there is more
to selfie culture than just vanity.
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lets get started
with the first thing that people think about when the name
“Kardashian” pops up: Kim’s 2003 sex tape. I haven’t linked
to it, not because I don’t approve of it, but because it was sold
without her consent. What, a woman didn’t give consent and the guy
didn’t face any consequences? Welcome to the rape culture of the
21<sup>st</sup> Century peeps! But the fact that she didn’t consent
for it’s publication, doesn’t detract from the fact that she was
a willing participant in that tape. Enjoying a lovely sexy time with
her then boyfriend, Ray J.
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And that’s what
I think so many people, including scores of WOMEN have a problem
with. She allowed someone to film her <i>enjoying</i> sex with her
own partner. What kind of woman would DO that? What kind of dirty,
depraved whore would lower herself like that? The puritanical disgust
that woman like Kim K, Paris Hilton et al have made sex tapes is
astounding to me. Why on earth is it a problem? What is that disgust
based on? It’s based on a dangerous, deeply rooted belief that is
still prevalent in our society…. Women who enjoy sex are whores.
<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna%E2%80%93whore_complex" target="_blank">And whores are bad</a>. Because I don’t see Ray J being accused of
being a whore? Oh but he’s a guy! It’s OK for him to have sex and
it’s ok for him to enjoy it! Ugh.
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This
fetishisation of women as virgins or sluts, stems from a culture
still heavily influenced by values of a patriarchal religious
society. And as a result I believe most of these attitudes about
women who enjoy sex and their own sexuality are not even conscious.
It’s a default response to be horrified by them. Open any magazine
or newspaper and the representation of women who have dated/slept
with a lot of men is starkly negative in comparison with the
“Lothario” type male celebrity who is back slapped or at worst,
eye rolled at.
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is the
double standard I can’t cope with. Kim Kardashian had a sex tape.
It was published the same year Keeping up with the Kardashians aired,
in 2007. Did it help launch her career in the public eye? Almost
certainly. But so what? Good for her! She took back some control when
she had none. She’s made millions marketing her remarkably rotund
posterior. She’s harnessed that sexual attention, she’s
acknowledged the <a href="https://everydayfeminism.com/2013/05/changing-male-gaze/" target="_blank">male gaze</a> and she’s taken back control. Her body. Her choice.
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Talking of her
body, we come to the next point. Selfies. The other accusation about
the girls in the show is that they’re vain, selfie-obsessed
airheads. Rather than astute business women with an eye for marketing
that’s made them millions, specifically harnessing their “looks”
and using them to sell make up to the millions and millions of young
folks clamouring for a taste of Kardashian glamour.
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Selfies are seen
as vain and I find this a problem. It’s now so much a part of life,
that a recent <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/media/2016/oct/08/taking-the-self-out-of-selfie-most-pictures-not-about-vanity-says-study" target="_blank">Austrialian study</a> has discovered that 90% of selfies are NOT for the soul
purpose of self promotion. Most bloggers I know use selfies
frequently in their work to connect with their readers and followers.
As the keen photographer in my family, I often will take selfies when
we’re out and about or at family event, because if I didn’t there
wouldn’t be any evidence that I was even there!
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In an age where
the pressure to look and feel attractive is arguably more intense
than ever before, it seems strange to me that we would castigate
those who have the confidence to put themselves out there. Rather
than branding people as vain, I think we should be rewarding self
love. According to <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-clarity/201711/taking-back-the-male-gaze" target="_blank">this article,</a> one of the ways to overcome the affect of the male gaze
(in short the objectification of women/femmes), is mirror therapy. To
centre yourself and become familiar with your own reflection rather
than see it through the eyes of others. Not for vanity but as a form
of self acceptance.
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So whilst I
wouldn’t say that the Kardashians are totally unproblematic…
promoting weight loss aids, <a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/elliewoodward/times-the-kardashians-have-been-accused-of-cultural-approp" target="_blank">cultural appropriation</a> and benefiting from a level of privilege most
people will never experience etc., I don’t believe they deserve all
the vilification they receive. Sex tapes and selfies shouldn’t, in
my opinion, equal shame. And if you think differently, then shame on
you.
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<br />Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-30363559348891995462019-01-31T16:20:00.000+00:002019-05-23T15:53:59.748+01:00Gender Neutrality for kids: Busting the myths. <br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Let’s tackle some ridiculous myths about not labelling kids toys and clothes with specific genders OK? Because flipping HECK, I’ve heard some bloody stupid stuff making the rounds. From people who really <i>aren’t </i>stupid and should definitely know better. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">It’s over a year since John Lewis took down their signs for “boy’s clothes” and “girl’s clothes” in store but it seems there are still a lot of people out there who haven’t grasped the concept. I’m gonna break it down for you:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Gender Neutral Clothing / Toy sections aren’t full of beige clothes / toys or not trucks or dolls.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">This is the silliest thing I’ve heard so far. That all kids clothes will become grey and beige…. akin to when you hedging your bets buying baby clothes pre birth. No. It means that we stop deciding for kids what colours they are limited to wearing / toys they are limited to playing with. If anything, the best thing any clothing or toy shop could do, right now, is add MORE colours to their palate. I’ve lost count of how many mums have complained </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 14.6667px;">to me</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11pt;"> about the lack of colour options other than pink or cream for girls. And boys like reds, yellows, greens, oranges and EVEN PINK. Just start widening the selection folks...it’s not hard! The same with logos…. Not all clothing needs to be fairies / unicorns vs superheroes / trucks. What about just having dinosaurs and pirates and cars and teddies in ALL colours?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">YES IT’S OK IF YOUR GIRL WANTS TO WEAR PINK AND YOUR BOY WANTS TO PLAY WITH CARS. This isn’t the issue here. It’s to give ALL kids the choice of ALL the colours/toys. Both my kids play with Lego. Both play with the (pink) Walkie Talkies my daughter was bought for her birthday. (But why are they pink????)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Let’s not force stereotypes onto kids and start pigeon holing them before they can even spell pigeon! Not all girls want to play mums and dads, not all boys want to be policemen or doctors. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Gender Neutral Clothing sections aren’t going to make your kids become transgender.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">This is a biggie…. unless your kid suffers from <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gender-dysphoria/" target="_blank"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">gender dysphoria</span></a> …of which only an <u><span style="color: #0070c0;"><a href="https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/721642/GEO-LGBT-factsheet.pdf" target="_blank"><span style="color: #0070c0;">estimated 0.08%</span></a></span></u> of the UK<a href="https://www.channel4.com/news/factcheck/factcheck-qa-how-many-children-are-going-to-gender-identity-clinics-in-the-uk" target="_blank"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"> populationcurrently being born i</span></a>s, then they will not be “made” or encouraged or persuaded into becoming a trans person. This is very important. Broadening clothing choice and letting your boy play with My Little Pony is not going to have any impact on his life other than to make him happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gender dysphoria is not common, it’s an inherent condition over which the child has no choice. Sure there are kids who want to experiment with different looks, clothes, toys…. Some of those will have gender dysphoria and will go on to seek treatment and possibly surgery once they are 18. Most of them won’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">But if your child does have <span class="MsoHyperlink">gender dysphoria</span> then the last thing you want for them is to be made to feel more at sea by clothing brands telling them what they should and shouldn’t be wearing to feel accepted and “normal” in society. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Gender Neutral Clothing / toy sections aren’t going to make your kids “gay”.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Again with the “breaking it down for the dumb”. Firstly, this section is purely for those who think homosexuality is in anyway a negative. Secondly, <span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.theguardian.com/science/blog/2015/jul/24/gay-genes-science-is-on-the-right-track-were-born-this-way-lets-deal-with-it" target="_blank">people are born with their sexuality</a></span>. Just as they are born with gender dysphoria or not. So nothing external, like a pink fucking t shirt, is going to make your kid gay. Kids need to have access to whatever toys they want (within economic reason!) because it encourages their imagination and creativity. If you take that doll away from your little boy, then you’re an idiot and you’re doing your child a massive disservice. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Gender Neutral Kids Clothing isn’t about <span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Androgyny" target="_blank">Androgyny</a></span>.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">It’s not about taking ANY gender away from kids. There are some schools of thought (and <span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2017/09/28/health/sweden-gender-neutral-preschool/index.html" target="_blank">literal schools</a></span>!) who think that taking any gender markers away from kids’ means that children won’t be constrained by the barriers of their gender. E.g. girls might be more likely to go on to study stem subjects, boys won’t grow up with <span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.scarymommy.com/toxic-masculinity-gillette-ad-comments/" target="_blank">toxic masculinity</a></span>. Some may see this as a step too far, but as a general rule, just rallying for clothes/toys to be made and marketed with both genders in mind would be a good start. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Has Gender Neutrality gone too far?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Some people seem to take it as a personal affront that other parents let their kids decide what clothes they wear or toys they play with?! I’ve been met with the opinion of </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 14.6667px;">“taking this gender neutral business too far!” when a couple of friends saw </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11pt;">that a little boy was ALLOWED by his parents to wear a dress in public. Why IS that though? Is because you are bringing up your kids to laugh at kids with different taste to theirs? No? What are the genuine fears they have of kids dressing how they want, based on?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11.0pt;">So until any kids feels safe walking down the street with their friends wearing WHATEVER they want, then nope. The conversation about gender neutrality hasn’t gone far enough.</span></div>
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Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-49081804728736077662018-09-19T14:12:00.001+01:002018-09-19T14:12:33.922+01:00How Clean is YOUR House? #Hincharmy Update! <div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">I often wonder how clean other people’s houses REALLY are. You see, I am an awful mix of complete neat freak and terminally lazy. I think people who often have WAY too much going on in their heads often have neat-freak tendencies. If I can “just sort this room out” then my brain will be all calm and my thoughts will be in order. Perhaps it’s a sign of an anxious person? “I got all these things to think through AND a stinky, messy pit to clean up…GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Actually.... that does sound like me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">And I like my house to be clean. REALLY clean and tidy at ALL times. But it isn’t. And it never has been. Even before I had kids. Even when I only had one cat or even when I lived abroad and had NO cats. It was never, ever shiny spic and span. Because as with everything in life, my expectations do not meet reality.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">So then I wonder how clean other people’s houses are. Because I am secretly weirdly competitive about stupid things like this. Now, I am not talking about the super messy, life’s-too-short brigade where stuff is everywhere and no fucks are given. And just for the record, I have NO ill judgement of that either. I don’t care if you live in a pit. And I do envy your no fucks given attitude too. Because if I had that attitude, I’d either have been <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chasing_the_dragon" target="_blank">chasing the dragon</a>, or have had my brain entirely re-wired. My <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modus_operandi" target="_blank">M.O</a>. is <b>worry about everything at all times</b> and that includes the state of my house. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">(It’s not necessarily the best M.O.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">I am talking about the ones whose houses are relatively clean looking and tidy, as much as they ever can be with small kids involved. So usually one room, at least during waking hours, will resemble a jumble sale but that’s NORMAL. But how often do they really clean their kitchen floor, change their sheets, wash the towels, dust the shelves, hoover, scrub the bath? Do I do it enough? Sorry, I mean do <a href="http://www.mrshelicopter.com/2015/05/stop-telling-me-i-am-lucky-to-have-my.html" target="_blank">WE</a> do it enough? Is it weird to ask? Would you tell the truth? Is it normal to care? Is it a feminist issue?! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">The reason I got to thinking about this is two-fold. Firstly, this month is the start of having one full day a week with children in school. I was thinking this is a great opportunity to do some stuff around the house that we never get around to but also to clean and get up-to-date with washing...perhaps even IRON something. But it's also a great opportunity to write and exercise a creative muscle that's been on the back burner for a good while now. (thanks <a href="http://www.mrshelicopter.com/2018/04/if-you-think-anxiety-is-fun-try-new.html" target="_blank">meta anxiety</a>!) Which would make me happy but would it make me happier than a clean house? <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Secondly, if you have an <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jessa67/" target="_blank">instagram</a> account then you MUST have heard of <a href="https://www.instagram.com/mrshinchhome_x_/" target="_blank">Mrs Hinch </a>and her <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/hincharmy/" target="_blank">#hincharmy</a>? A bonkers girl from Essex with killer lashes and an obsession with Zoflora. She's hilarious. A few weeks ago she had a couple of thousand followers. Thanks to her crazy cleaning stories she now has 500k! It's made me a teeny bit jealous. I mean, I just don't think I am committed enough. She was even on This Morning this week! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Secondly, and this is apt, whilst we were all out ignoring house work one weekend, I stumbled upon the fantastic and seemingly anachronistic 70s book “<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/569061.Superwoman" target="_blank">Superwoman</a>” by Shirley Conran. Its preface stating “Life’s too Short to Stuff a Mushroom”. I had actually picked it up to scoff at its outdatedness…. Who gives a monkeys about being a domestic goddess these days?! Pah! GET with the times, love! But then I actually started reading it and I was HOOKED! It’s ace! It’s witty, and funny and SO handy! A million tips on everything to do with running a house, from making your own washing liquids to weekly budgets and shopping tips. Having done a little background research I’ve discovered it was quite trailblazing publication. It was aimed at the emerging working woman who had little time to dedicate to cleaning her house.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Of course it IS vastly dated in that it suggests you never ask your husband for help, even if you ARE cutting corners a bit in your domestic duties! My reply to THAT is <a href="http://www.mrshelicopter.com/2015/05/stop-telling-me-i-am-lucky-to-have-my.html" target="_blank">here</a>. But some of the tips are fantastic! This is a good one:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 18.5467px;">Clean one room at a time because you can stop right there if time runs out or you get bored. Stop half an hour before you had planned, because then you won't be too exhausted to clean up properly.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">So true! My normal cleaning mode is “OMG so and so is coming around in 10 minutes and I need to vacuum the whole house and clean the bog at LEAST.” By the time the person has arrived I’m a sweating heap and in need of a rest, and they have to make their own coffee!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">But one big thing I took from the book was the LEVEL of cleaning that was expected, daily weekly and even annually. I mean, do you take down your curtains every spring and have them dry cleaned? Do you EVER hoover your sofa or mattress? (This is a weekly job apparently). Is part of your weekly routine to clean all the cupboards out and the fronts and dust all the high bits in the room and door frames?! How the bloody hell did women ever get anything done if this was a guide to skipping corners! How is taking down ALL YOUR CURTAINS skipping any corners?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">My thing is, if it ain’t broke…don’t fix it! Cupboards need cleaning when something spills (including fronts); curtains need cleaning if some outside force has interfered….spillages / mould / cats; cobwebs get dusted at BEST when I can be bothered. I’d LOVE to have someone else do all of those things for me weekly but even I know that this is beyond reasonable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">But as I said before, I am weirdly competitive. I need to know if we’re normal or if we’re scumbags.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">So. In 2018: How clean IS your house? What are your weekly routines? Are you a Hincher? I need to see if our level of cleanliness meets acceptable standards. Comment, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/MrsHelicopter/" target="_blank">Facebook</a> or <a href="https://twitter.com/JessHelicopter" target="_blank">Tweet </a>me. I NEED TO KNOW, like NOW!!!!!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-91007544216606301282018-04-30T15:33:00.001+01:002023-09-25T13:19:17.154+01:00If you think Anxiety is fun, try the new improved META version!<br />
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JWJHACq03d0/WucnMTyxNCI/AAAAAAAAw6o/IYGEDsQ7WzY4ViYL92mA9jvfPM23jjdrgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_3209.PNG" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="456" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JWJHACq03d0/WucnMTyxNCI/AAAAAAAAw6o/IYGEDsQ7WzY4ViYL92mA9jvfPM23jjdrgCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_3209.PNG" width="228" /></a><span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">What the heck is META anxiety? It’s anxiety about anxiety (also known as Generalised Anxiety Disorder). And up until a little while ago, I was suffering from a big fat dose of it. It’s not fun.</span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">If any of you have experienced episodes in your life where you’ve had anxiety or panic attacks, you’ll know it’s one of the worst feelings you can experience, ever. I wrote about it <a href="http://www.mrshelicopter.com/2017/05/panic-anxiety-welcome-to-hell.html" target="_blank">here</a>. As I say there, it’s hell. But usually when we suffer from episodes of anxiety, there’s an underlying cause that’s definable. E.g. grief, stress at work, post-natal depression etc.</span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Usually when I have experienced anxiety it’s linked to events or circumstances which I could identify. I had generalised anxiety when I knew I needed to change my job in 2001. I changed jobs and within 6 weeks my anxiety symptoms disappeared.</span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><u><b>Previous Periods of Anxiety</b></u></span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">In 2004 my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, just as her mother, my beloved Nana, was in hospital with secondary cancer of the womb. 7 weeks later my Nana was dead. I developed anxiety whilst my mum was receiving chemo. After a traumatic year, my mum had recovered well from the cancer and I went travelling in the Far East for 2 months. My anxiety went.</span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Four months after my first child was born in 2009 I developed post-natal anxiety. This time I used therapy and an increase in anti-depressants to deal with it. I’d gone on anti-depressants in 2005 for depression (I wasn’t experiencing anxiety at the time). I knew that I couldn’t just “change” my situation! I had to deal with being a mum because it’s for keeps! So therapy and increasing my drugs helped me overcome the anxiety. It took a good while, a couple of months, but then having a baby is a pretty big adjustment!</span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">I got a small bout of Meta anxiety about four months after having my second child in early 2014. I’d assumed that I would get post-natal anxiety with her because I did with my first, but of course the second time around everything is different. You know the sleepless nights will eventually get less frequent, you know the crying will stop, everything is a phase. So when I got anxious, I went to see my therapist and she told me I was anxious because I was expecting to be. There was no reason for it and within a week, my symptoms disappeared again.</span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Between now and then, I’ve THANKFULLY had hardly any brushes with anxiety. The odd panic episode (not even enough to call a full attack). But mostly I’ve been completely free of it. </span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><b><u>What's Happening Now</u></b></span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Just before last Christmas I had a panic attack. It was a one off based on cumulative stress but I think it might have opened the floodgates. The fact that the panic feeling seemingly came out of nowhere (e.g. not one specific event to trigger it) made me feel a bit more vulnerable to it. If I could feel panicky about CHRISTMAS, which is historically my most exciting time of year, then I could feel panicky ABOUT ANYTHING AT ANYTIME.</span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">So when I got ill at the beginning of March with a flu during heavy snowfall that kept us house bound for 4 days, I started to get anxious. And after my daughter had also come down with it and I’d been stuck inside for nearly two weeks, I felt the full force of it. I couldn’t eat or drink properly, I felt sick and shaky the whole time. Desperately exhausted from the adrenaline pumping around my system 24/7. I couldn’t concentrate on much. I couldn’t look forward to any plans because I couldn’t see that I’d ever feel normal again. It makes you so incredibly insular and in a way, selfish too. You can’t think about anything other than the anxiety. </span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">I went back to my therapist and after my first session, I felt better. I could see why it might have come back, quite often people can feel quite down after a viral illness so I expected that it would just peter out, the way it has done in the past.</span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Except this time, it didn’t. It lingered. That nasty, pervasive, gnawing feeling that things aren’t quite right and you might at any moment start REALLY panicking and lose contro was there almost constantly. And I didn’t know why! It impacted every part of my life. I couldn’t fully enjoy anything because I couldn’t ever relax. Thinking about plans I’d made pre-meta (!) filled me with dread because there was an evil voice in my head telling me I <b>might</b> have a panic attack. I MIGHT properly lose my mind and unravel in front of EVERYONE. Even though intellectually I knew it was unlikely. There’s a lot of evidence from my past to suggest that I have lived a happy, non-anxious life for MOST of my adult life (and almost all of my childhood/teens). But I <b>might</b>. I might start to feel that rising panic, crawling up my throat from my jelly-like stomach, making my legs weak, my heart beat faster, my head feel lighter and my throat drier.</span><br />
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</span><span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">At the next session I had with my therapist, she reminded me that what I was experiencing is Meta anxiety/GAD. I cried. I cried because it felt like I was going to feel like this forever. It felt like I was never going to get rid of it. It felt like if anything remotely bad happens in my life, I won’t be able to cope because I’ll be in a permanent state of anxiety. I cried because I am ashamed that I can’t cope and I don’t know why. I cried because I didn’t know how to stop it.</span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">We talked some more and she reminded me of the fact that I haven’t always felt anxious so I won’t always feel that way. It WILL go. </span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">I was unconvinced. </span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">But guess what? I am fine. I am over it. For now. I am back to not waking up with crippling stomach ache and feeling shaky. I wake up and don’t even THINK about it. I am NOT worried about feeling anxious in the future. If anything I feel emboldened by it, I've proved to myself that I can get through it!</span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">So YEY! I am SO GLAD TO BE BACK! </span><br />
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</span> <span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">The only positive thing to ever come out of a period of anxiety is how grateful you feel afterwards for everything good in your life. Right now I am absolutely thrilled with life! Woohoo! Let’s DO this!</span><a href="https://www.kellyallenwriter.com/" target="_blank"></a>Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-17687429624193241222018-01-24T20:00:00.000+00:002018-01-25T14:26:58.092+00:00Feminism has Changed. Time to Embrace it! <div class="Standard">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">What
it means to be a Feminist has changed. It’s constantly changing and definitely for the better. We live in
a society where we are aware of what everyone thinks about everything is
broadcast all over social media 24/7. So Feminism is becoming more accessible and less
exclusive. It’s less about anger and more about wanting everyone to have equal
opportunities regardless of gender/race/sexuality and ability. And being aware
of your place in the </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_privilege" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" target="_blank">privilege</a><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> hierarchy
whilst you’re doing it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">I
really became aware of what Feminist meant when I was at Uni. I never felt like
boys and girls weren’t completely equal and thinking otherwise was absurd. I'd grown up never consciously feeling "less" than my male peers. But now, at Uni, I had a name for this feeling. So I decided to do a gender studies course which of course confirmed that yes indeed,
I <i><b>was</b></i> a feminist. However, this was the mid-90s. It was the 3<sup>rd</sup> wave
of feminism…. what I learnt about feminism then intimidated me. So much so that
I never felt confident actually <i>saying</i> I was feminist, lest I be
interrogated about my beliefs and forced to account for my make-up wearing, men
shagging, leg shaving, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriarchy" target="_blank">Patriarchy</a>-kowtowing ways! I wasn’t able to articulate
why I was interested in being attractive to the opposite sex. I certainly
didn’t feel brave enough to try and defend myself to the bare-faced, hairy,
natural-fibre clad, Birkenstock-wearing, uber feminists!</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Standard">
<br /></div>
<div class="Standard">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">Feminist
at this point very much seemed like a militant, all-in-or nothing stand point.
And even though I agreed with it wholeheartedly, I wasn’t prepared to come out
as one! I was 19 and I was not ready!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Standard">
<br /></div>
<div class="Standard">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">That
was until the 4<sup>th</sup> Wave, which started a few years ago (by now, my
mid 30s). The emergence of social media in our everyday lives has means that
people are much braver in what they “put out there”. You have the edit / delete
function. You can craft your arguments much more succinctly and articulately
than when you’re sat in a lecture hall or a class room. So women have been
starting to say, more and more, “No! This is STILL not OK!” We still have a
massive gender divide in our society. We still have unequal pay, we still have
victim-blaming, slut-shaming rape culture, disfiguring a woman is seen as
acceptable in Afghanistan if she attempts to go to college, until recently women
weren’t allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia, Female Genital Mutilation STILL
EXISTS. There are endless reasons why feminism is still a very much a
conversation we need to have.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Standard">
<br /></div>
<div class="Standard">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">But.
Saying that. I have friends who don’t want to call themselves feminist. They
don’t like the word. They think it’s associated with extremism...bra-burning,
man hating anger. Which, in the 60s and 70s it was a bit. But then in the 60s
and 70s, women <i>were</i> angry! The
distinction between how the sexes were treated was stark. Things have
definitely improved in terms of equality since then. We have a long way to go
but things are definitely changing. The face of feminism is changing. People
want to be seen as “equalists” not one favouring one over another. My answer to
that is this. For time in memoriam the pendulum has swung in favour of men.
That pendulum has to swing back the other way before it settles in the middle.
That’s part of why we have women only events, awards, grants etc. Where are the
men-centric equivalent? Note: See all of history!</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Standard">
<br /></div>
<div class="Standard">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">But
thanks to the likes of Caitlin Moran, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Lauren Laverne,
Malala, Meghan Markle even flipping Beyoncé (A POPSTAR….shock, horror!), people
are talking about Feminism more and more. It’s becoming much more of normal
thing to call yourself feminist. Modern feminism isn’t concerned with what you
wear, who you sleep with, or what you look like. We aren’t saying we are
superior! We are saying, just budge up and give us ALL room at the table! Give
our Trans sisters and sisters of colour some room too! Let’s get intersectional
& trans-friendly around here, OK?! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Standard">
<br /></div>
<div class="Standard">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">The
emergence of the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Me_Too_(hashtag)" target="_blank">#MeToo</a> is further proof the war is not over. For all the women
who use that hashtag, there are more women/men coming muttering about how some
of the famous women are fame whores who just want some limelight. There’s still
suspicion that SO many women have experienced abuse/harassment. And then there’s
the super helpful (!) “<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NotAllMen" target="_blank">Not All Men</a>” hashtag,
a tasteless, badly timed response which totally detracts from the female
experience to make it yet <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_privilege" target="_blank">AGAIN</a> about them. (<a href="https://victimfocus.wordpress.com/2018/01/03/stop-asking-me-what-about-men/" target="_blank">Writtenabout quite brilliantly here</a>.) </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Standard">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="Standard">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">My
outlook on this definitely changed, not just as I got older and more confident
(the bonus of ageing to counter those wrinkles… you care less about them!). But
having kids has made me see the world through their eyes too and, more
importantly, the future. I don’t want my daughter to be faced with a future
where her only options are pink and sparkly and I sure as hell don’t want my
son growing up thinking mummies are domestic slaves and it’s OK to do a cheeky
rape if you’re all drunk, especially cos she was <i>wearing a mini skirt</i>! No way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Standard">
<br /></div>
<div class="Standard">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">We
need to keep this momentum going, this sisterhood which is emerging across the
social media world. The word of 2017 according to online dictionary <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/word-of-the-year-2017-feminism" target="_blank">Merriam-Websterwas Feminism!</a> We need to keep spreading the word, it’s OK to be feminist!
It’s GOOD to be feminist! We’ve all got your back! The future is Feminist! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="Standard">
<br /></div>
Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-83004443315117463732018-01-07T14:51:00.000+00:002019-10-25T11:36:26.170+01:00Is Christmas Stress a Feminist Issue?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dmQJGT_ALzc/WlIyqngURLI/AAAAAAAAvW0/3iDUXvWP8LIX5HMPe1fGEHnLVd_3m_7XwCEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_2268.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1324" data-original-width="1324" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dmQJGT_ALzc/WlIyqngURLI/AAAAAAAAvW0/3iDUXvWP8LIX5HMPe1fGEHnLVd_3m_7XwCEwYBhgL/s320/IMG_2268.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace; font-size: 11pt;">Christmas
is without a shadow of a doubt my favourite time of year. I am super
lucky because growing up my family really invested in creating
traditions and making it a magical time of year for us. Not with
money, we didn’t have much of that growing up, but just with making
such a big fuss of the season. So for me it’s still a magical time
of celebration, happiness and fun with the added bonus of living that
magic vicariously through my children.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">But
this year, something changed. The stress outweighed the excitement of
the season and I almost had a breakdown. I started to have panic
attacks and I had to go and see my *counsellor to get me through the
holidays. I can’t say I actually decompressed until several days
after Christmas day, despite having lovely times in between. But I
just wanted it to be over. I couldn’t cope with the weight of
expectation laid so heavily at my door. Laid at the door of the wife,
the daughter, the mother, the granddaughter, the daughter-in-law. And
that’s why I think it’s a feminist issue. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">What
was it this year that felt too much for me and why is it a feminist
issue? Because I did it all. I did it all, on my own. As do so many
other mums, daughters, daughter-in-laws, wives. And this year it was
too much for me. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I’ve
stated before that my husband and I are a team. We share all
household/child responsibilities equally. It’s ace. But the running
of extra curricular stuff is always up to me. I mostly want it this
way. I like to have control, I feel like my memory retention for
things like birthdays and school work is better and I am more
invested in our social lives because my husband would probably be
happy living as a hermit (with us and the cats, obvs). </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">This
year I realised that I don’t think some of our partners have any
idea of what goes into the organisation of a Christmas season. And
from talking to other mum’s, I know this is most definitely not my
experience alone. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I
saw a light-hearted segment on This Morning where they bought in a
blokey bloke who claimed to do Christmas himself and bragging that he
got it all tied up by shopping at 5.30pm on Christmas eve...and a
snorting woman, who was the other extreme, and pretty hostile and
derisive to the boasty/deluded bloke. Not helpful! The points made
were that women make a big fuss about everything and that it’s easy
and blokes could do it with little to no effort. Eamon then
underlined his point by saying: “I just want it to be simple, like
when I was a boy.” To which Ruth replied: “Yes, when your mother
did everything.” Touché Ruth. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">There
are several points to be made here. Firstly, there is an assumption
that we put pressure on ourselves to to make everything perfect,
sparkly and special, as if that’s what we alone desire. That we
don’t HAVE to go to so much effort to lay a nice Christmas table or
pack a pretty present with a bow. The effort we go to isn’t to
fulfil our own glittery expectations but that of our
families...specifically the children’s. There’s also increasing
pressure from social media to do things we never had as a child, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Elf_on_the_Shelf" target="_blank">elf on a shelf</a>, Christmas eve boxes etc. A mum the other day told me her
kid had asked her why they didn’t have an elf on the shelf! </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Secondly
as much as your partner may protest at you bringing stress on
yourself with all the effort, has he ever told you the tree is over
dressed? The decorations are too much? The lovely wrapping paper is
too gaudy, you have too many Christmas cards, the food is too
delicious, the presents are too shit and thoughtless? But these are
minutiae in comparison to the real effort that goes behind the
organisation of Christmas. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">These
are things I’ve heard being said by male partners at Christmas: </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">You
are going to too much effort! You don’t have to invite family, I
don’t care. You don’t have to send my family cards / presents /
photo calendars. You don’t have to invite them for lunch / dinner /
to stay.”</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">It’s
not that simple though is it? Unless you genuinely dislike your
partner’s family and really wish to banish them from your lives,
you will always make the effort. Not just for his relationships’
sake but for the sake of your kids’ relationships with said
relatives. The maintenance of familial bonds almost always lies with
the wife / mother / daughter. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I
don’t care about presents. Don’t get me ANYTHING”</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Has
anyone ever actually been brave enough to do this? To actually get
your partner NOTHING to open on Christmas day? Whilst everyone else
sits in their own tornado of wrapping paper? And how has that gone
down? </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Just
tell me what do, and I’ll do it!”</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Firstly,
it isn’t just a matter of “doing”. It’s thinking, planning,
booking, ordering, paying, wrapping, packing, sending….the list
goes on. The actual “doing” part is usually the bit at the end
which requires no thought, effort and very little time. Therefore
it’s usually pointless and too late. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">My
Christmas stress breakdown this year wasn’t caused by my partner
not pulling his weight. Whilst I was fretting and doing ALL THE
CHRISTMAS THINGS, he was quietly behind me doing the washing,
cleaning the kitchen, feeding the kids… doing his bit. There were
also some stress</span></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">-inducing</span></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
situations, it was a super busy time of year at work, and one of my
children decided now was a good to time to </span></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">give
up on sleep and develop a teenage attitude problem to rival <a href="http://pixar.wikia.com/wiki/Sid_Phillips" target="_blank">Sid</a>
in Toy Story and as a result I got a bout of insomnia too. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">But
even with the support of my husband, it’s a tough time of year for
us Mamas. And for many, I think it’s still a feminist issue. There
is definitely a disparity in gender roles at this time of year. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Below
is a little (not little) time line of the things I did in the run up
to Christmas. The list is pretty long. It might be quite dull to read
and it’s not essential to the post. Some of it people will deem
unnecessary, a waste of money/time. There are definitely things I
won’t be doing again to save my own sanity. There will be lots of
things on there that most mums do every year however. Enjoy! </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<i style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", monospace; font-size: x-small;">*Let
me put a little disclaimer: when I walked into my counsellors’
office, the first thing I did was blurt out how ridiculous I felt
having panic attacks because I couldn’t cope with Christmas. And
how of all the Western-First-World-Middle-Class problems there out
there, this had to be pushing for top. I am aware this could sound
crazy to others who have lost people they love at Christmas, or are
in hospital with loved ones at Christmas or any of the plethora of
other, “PROPER” reasons to be stressed/anxious at Christmas. My
counsellor told me this statement was unhelpful for addressing my own
anxiety. I still felt like an idiot nevertheless.</i></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yM_yqLfHRLU/WlIyqfE-AoI/AAAAAAAAvWw/uDtyVQanpVAJnB88ITPsKihW-J2k7KZxgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2119.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yM_yqLfHRLU/WlIyqfE-AoI/AAAAAAAAvWw/uDtyVQanpVAJnB88ITPsKihW-J2k7KZxgCLcBGAs/s400/IMG_2119.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That's me, sifting through the kid's pressies, trying to write a list of who sent what. Mum in apron behind me going to check potatoes. What else do you see? </span> </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<u style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", monospace; font-size: 9pt;">A
timeline of Christmas tasks for 2017</u></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;"><b>Previous
December 26<sup>th</sup>/27th</b></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace; font-size: 9pt;">Brace
sales IRL (in real life) or online to search sales for next year’s:</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">1)
wrapping paper</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">2)
Christmas cards</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">3)
Christmas pjs for kids</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">4)
Christmas jumpers / or outfits for kids</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">5)
Crackers / any decs / lights that have broken</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">6)
New Family Calendar for coming year (which you’ll spend ages
transferring all birthdays / significant events / term dates / inset
days onto)</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;"><b>September</b></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace; font-size: 9pt;">Start
thinking about Christmas pressies and panicking about where the money
will come from.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Sort
secret Santa in work/help decide venue for Christmas meal/quiz etc. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;"><b>October</b></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace; font-size: 9pt;">Book
father Christmas visit as soon as tickets go on sale. (Super popular
venue)</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Panic
more about lack of funds. Shop around for credit cards.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;"><b>November</b></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace; font-size: 9pt;">Apply
for credit card. Await it’s arrival nervously</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Start
buying THOUGHTFUL presents for all extended family members (12 people). </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Buy
stocking presents (non thoughtful!) </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Arrange
& Book venue for blogger Christmas meet up</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Buy
presents for kids and husband. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Help
Dad buy presents for Mum. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Spend
a fortune / painstaking hours creating online photo calendars from
the last 12 months for older relatives. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Buy
stuff for Christmas Eve box </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Take
kids to Winter Wonderland. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Buy
advent calendars</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Sell
100 Scout stamps</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Book
Christmas shop slot. Leave it too late, get rubbish “click and
collect” Asda slot </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">(this
requires thinking about all the food and drink we will need over
Christmas period)</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;"><b>December</b></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Take
proceeds of sold stamps back to Scout hut. Feel guilted into sorting
Scout post after work. Have strop with Scout
leader and don’t go.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Write
Christmas cards</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Send
photo calendars.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Order
school pics. Promptly lose school pics before Christmas and have to
send out in January.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Send
Scout cards, International cards, UK cards</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Wrap
all presents. (Emlyn did half) </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Pay
school for panto trip</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Buy
sets of tickets for all concerts for all times for all relevant
people</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Add
and replace various items for ULTIMATE Christmas supermarket shop</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Book
time off work for concerts</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Attend
a few birthday parties (having bought and wrapped presents)</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Sort
2 x random kids costumes for concerts, remember to get them to school</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Make
gingerbread cookies (not essential but a tradition)</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Make
Christmas decoration for work competition (!!!!)</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Attend
concerts for all relevant family members</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Wrap
“fake pressies” for Scout Christmas party (!!!) Remember child
has party, remember his Christmas jumper and entrance money</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Remember
to dress kids in home clothes / Christmas clothes on various
different dates throughout December</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Put
up decorations (kids do tree...wait til they in bed, re-distribute a
few items)</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Get
extra green bags/food bags in case we get snowed in *<b>hollow laugh</b>*</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Buy
all bottles of booze and or chocolates and or flowers to take to
parties / relatives</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Pick
up Christmas shop on 23rd, realise half stuff is missing, go to
another shop to find missing items.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Plan/make
food for boxing day visitors & freeze</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Make
food for Christmas day</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Keep
a note of who got what and from who. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Write/
hassle kids into writing Thank you cards</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Send
Thank you cards</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;">Contact
absent family members to wish merry Christmas/happy new year</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 9pt;"><b>26<sup>th</sup>
December… brave the sales for next year….. and repeat…. </b></span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-34122002416063052092017-11-15T14:12:00.001+00:002017-11-16T12:08:13.815+00:00Motherland Depresses The Shit Out Of Me.<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xb8wD1A3jQI/WgxLEekLBVI/AAAAAAAAuEA/UFQeF0_919YH3u_WcwUVOLMdRzl35ThKQCLcBGAs/s1600/p05lpzhx.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xb8wD1A3jQI/WgxLEekLBVI/AAAAAAAAuEA/UFQeF0_919YH3u_WcwUVOLMdRzl35ThKQCLcBGAs/s320/p05lpzhx.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05j1jkp" target="_blank">Motherland</a> is a
relatively new comedy series on the BBC that follows a modern, middle
class white working woman and her struggles with balancing childcare,
cliquey playground mums, an unhelpful grandparent and an
absent/selfish father. Whilst I do think it’s very funny, and in some
ways quite perceptive, I am also depressed as shit about a few key details. And I actually don’t think it’s helpful to have another TV
series which represents childcare as solely a woman’s
responsibility, however hilarious and possibly true to life it is.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I do get that art
reflects life so in this instance the popularity of this show is down
to the fact that mothers see their lives reflected back at them. That IS
the experience of many women in the UK right now. They work and they
struggle and they sort out the childcare. But if we keep portraying
that as the norm on screen, it’s not going to change anything is
it? At some point, instead of saying this is your experience...isn’t
it shit? How about challenging the stereotypes and having a comedy
which represents BOTH parents struggling? Because it IS the
responsibility of BOTH parents.
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My biggest problem
with Motherland is the representation of men. They are either
entirely absent – the husband of the main character (Julia) is
always off at the football or a stag weekend or at his “more
important” job. OR they are simpering weirdos who the female
characters either tolerate or are mildly repulsed by. WTF? WHY?
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Why are the fathers
depicted like this? Like they don’t give a shit about their kids
parties or schooling or have any interest in their lives at all? Is
this the experience of the writer? Because if it is, I feel sorry for
her. Of all the partners / fathers I know ...even the ones who are
the most self-absorbed and Neanderthal in attitude (thankfully not
many) NONE of them have ZERO interest in the lives of their kids. I’d
say at the very least most fathers would be present at their kid’s
birthday party, no?
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And if they ARE
totally absent, as much as that is totally shit, it’s also surely
partly your responsibility for putting up with it? There’s a point
where Julia is on the phone to her husband, at a stag weekend and he
asks, albeit insincerely, if he needs to come home. YES. YES YOU
FUCKING DO YOU SELFISH PRICK. And she says no, it’s fine. I’m
sure many women relate to that. You feel guilty asking them to help
because “they need a break too”. They work hard too. Sure. But
when do YOU get a break? Why isn’t he organising the kids party and
navigating the social awkwardness of kids parties with cliquey
parents? Why aren’t YOU off on a canal boat with a donkey hat on,
swigging Pimms and singing songs about vicars and tits?
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Because you’re a
woman. And that’s your job. According to TV adverts, soap operas,
comedies, dramas. Woman sort the kids out, men go to the pub. Still.
Now. In 2017. W.T.F.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Also, a small note
here as well….the writer, who LIVES in London, doesn’t seem to
have noticed ethnic diversity either. Which is odd, given that only
44% of London is White & British according to the 2011 consensus.
But perhaps I am being picky here? One thing at a time, eh?
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The one character I
do really like and I think IS true to life is Liz. Liz DGAF. She’s
single, she’s always trying to get a date, she takes parenting with
a pinch of salt and she’s singularly unimpressed by the bitchy
mums. She’s #squadgoals for me. But what IS Kevin? Does ANYONE know
a Kevin?</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My plea to the BBC
is this…. Can we PLEASE have some Fathers in comedy who aren’t
totally shit? They do exist. And even if they don’t exist in
abundance, then seeing them represented on screen can only help
encourage them to be less shit? And maybe encourage some mums to put
up with less shit? Surely? PLEASE? In 2017? Yes? </span></div>
Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-62711849669954644632017-10-13T11:18:00.000+01:002017-10-13T20:19:19.937+01:00I’ve been Sexually Harassed. You Probably Have Too.<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-41606140" target="_blank">Weinstein</a>
thing. It’s everywhere right now. Big (male) Hollywood Producer in
casting couch shocker. The term originated there. I am GLAD it’s
everywhere, but it’s about time. Finally more and more men who have
abused their positions of power are being held accountable.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And it’s obviously
creating a wave of emotion from people who have experienced sexual
harassment. I’ve seen quite a few girls on Twitter who have felt
“triggered” by the news events recently and have had to come off
social media to preserve their mental health. Which completely makes
sense, despite it being a desperately sad situation.
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But then I realised.
I’ve been sexually harassed. I’ve been sexually harassed loads in
fact. And do you know why that fact has only just occurred to me?
Because I’d always just dismissed it as expected behaviour from the
environment I was in. I’ll expand.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NUED7qvFpMM/WeCSsMMJqbI/AAAAAAAAsiI/7oeIx3gnUekJjj7B9e2HJAt8iOlg0BkhQCLcBGAs/s1600/bum%2Bwhap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="493" height="311" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NUED7qvFpMM/WeCSsMMJqbI/AAAAAAAAsiI/7oeIx3gnUekJjj7B9e2HJAt8iOlg0BkhQCLcBGAs/s320/bum%2Bwhap.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I’ve have had my
bum pinched by a male teacher, aged 9. Thought it was normal
(actually I thought it was a <b>bit</b>
weird but not enough to say anything to anyone).
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I’ve
had my bum patted so many times by so many different men that I can’t
even remember numbers.
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I’ve
had my boobs grabbed, and felt up by strangers in bars, night clubs.
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I’ve
been forcefully kissed on the mouth by a man I was arguing with.
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I’ve
had my PUSSY grabbed at by a man in a disgusting pub in Canton,
Cardiff. And when I protested this, of course I was called a frigid,
lesbian bitch. The stock response. Again I've lost count of how many times I've been accused of either or both. </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I’ve
never put up with it. I’ve ALWAYS called out whoever has done the
grabbing, rubbing, touching. None of it was invited and where I was
(in a club/bar) and what I was wearing (maybe a low cut top) NEVER meant I
sanctioned being TOUCHED by a stranger. I’ve had many verbal fights
with men and a lot of “almost” physical fights before being
pulled away by my friends / boyfriend (who mostly got the stick for
not controlling his “bitch”).
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now
I am lucky. None of these events have traumatised me. They’ve stayed
with me. They’ve hardened my determination to see that women get
treated more equally in society. Inevitably they HAVE made me feel
bitter and angry that we have to put up with being treated like bits
of meat in a butchers shop. But I don’t bear the scars and for that I
am grateful.
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I
am not alone though am I? I am willing to bet that <b>most
women who read this</b> will also
have, at some time in their lives, been on the receiving end of unwanted touching. Or
behaviour that has made them feel uncomfortable… like wolf
whistling (For which we must all respond graciously for fear of being
told we were ugly / fat / disgusting in the first place).
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But
this is the thing. We’ve grown up expecting it. Even though MOST of
us hate it, we know that we have to “just put up with it” because
it’s just a bit of fun, isn’t it? It’s a compliment!
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Does
that seem like an “equal” society to you? That one sex can
predominantly make the other sex feel uncomfortable? Of course there
are plenty of instances where the tables are turned. Women groping
men. I had a friend who would regularly grab men when she was drunk.
They were visibly repulsed by it most of the time. Unsurprisingly.
But I don’t condone that either. Of course not!
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No
one needs to touch ANYONE else, unless they are invited to. Lets stop
acting like it’s OK.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">PLEASE
let this persuade you that we still need feminism! Having your bum
pinched is a feminist issue! <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Representing" target="_blank">REPRESENT!!</a>!!</span></div>
Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-87662641072303694732017-09-22T13:19:00.003+01:002023-06-07T09:15:35.390+01:00Screen Time Revelations! <div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">My
husband and I have recently made a fascinating discovery about screen
time. The result of which has been, quite frankly, life changing for
us. </span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">Since
it’s become the norm to own a phone or tablet and more importantly, be glued to that device playing games or scrolling social media
endlessly, there has been a lot of <a href="http://www.techadvisor.co.uk/feature/digital-home/how-much-screen-time-is-healthy-for-children-benefits-3520917/?p=2" target="_blank">media attention</a> focused on whether
or not screen time is healthy for us. The <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_blue_light_technology" target="_blank">blue light</a> emitted from
most hand held devices such as phones and tablets can inhibit sleep, for example. So there is plenty of readily available advice about the
downside of not having to stare awkwardly into space, avoiding eye
contact on public transport! </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">But.
Did we, the Helicopters, as a family, HEED this advice? DID we? Did
we </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">heck</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">.
</span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;"><br />Emlyn
and I are as guilty as anyone of coming in from work, feeding and
watering the kids, plonking them in front of the TV and then ignoring
each other whilst we autonomously check our own newsfeeds in case
something amazing has happening in the half hour since we last
checked. </span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">This
is pretty shit parenting, granted. But I am sure we’re not alone.
And I'm being glib here, obviously </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">we’re</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
not that </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">bad</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">….we
don’t leave the TV to babysit for hours </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">imprisoned
into our own screen addiction. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">Also
</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">I think most people these
days feel a bit of guilt about the amount of mindless </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">phone
</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">scrolling they do. </span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">With
kids however, how do you know how much screen time is too much? Some
kids will be naturally drawn to hand held devices. I know it can be a
life saver for parents with kids on the autistic spectrum. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;"><a href="https://twitter.com/F_T_V_M" target="_blank">Jodie</a>
from<a href="https://firsttimevalleymam.com/" target="_blank"> A First Time Valley Mam</a> who’s son is on the scale says it
helps him get to sleep every night. </span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">Other
kids will love the adrenaline buzz of playing games, watching funny
videos or even just watching regular kids TV on them. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">This
is great if you’re on long car journeys or in a doctors waiting
room etc. It’s less great when you’re trying to get them out of
the door for school or upstairs to brush their teeth for bed. </span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">And
then there’s the question about filters and parental controls…
are they watching appropriate stuff? Are they chatting to weirdos?
Eeek! </span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">So
what’s the answer? Well ….</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">we’ve
been a bit tardy to the screen-time-is-bad party. We have a</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
7 year old boy who’s a </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">quite
the </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">regular to the “hand
held device show” and a 3 year old girl who vaguely showed an
interest in the iPad then got over it. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">However,</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
we</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">'ve </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">just
</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">made a </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">BIG
</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">stand with screen time and
</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">the results have been
remarkable. </span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">As
I mentioned, w</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">e've been
</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">pretty lax with how much
screen time our oldest has had. From the age of about 3 we’ve very
</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">laz</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">il</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">y
and let him take our phones (then later the iPad) to play on when he
wakes up in the morning. This is because for years he woke between
5-6am everyday. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">It would
enable us to have another half hour-hour asleep when he was young</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">er</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
and then a bit more time as he got older and more independent. But a
young boy who’s had a good few hours on an iPad with no breakfast,
is probably not going to be Mr Happy when we eventually roll our lazy
butts out of bed. And yet it’s taken us years to realise this. I
know, WTF is wrong with us?! </span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">He's
always been quite an angry kid but when </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">his
sister</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;"> came along we put it
down to jealousy. Then when he started school we thought it was
tiredness. Things got particularly bad at the end of his last school
term. He was permanently </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">stroppy
about everything</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">It
was getting to the point where I thought we might have to get some
professional anger management advice for him. I was gutted that he
seemed so unhappy with his life and I felt like we really might need
someone to help us work through whatever </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">it
</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">was making him so
frustrated. </span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">I
planned a trip to the doctor to discuss this and his issues with
sleep. He’d stay up late (despite being in a proper wind-down bed
routine since he was a baby) and still wake up at the crack of dawn.
The day before I took him, </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">I'd
heard from a friend that she'd banned screen time </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">with
one of her sons who’d been sneaking off and watching <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFFL2xrUgC5wSEiUNmM9-gA?view_as=subscriber" target="_blank">YouTube</a>. I</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">t
had a </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;"><b>huge</b></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
i</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">mpact on his</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
behaviour. We'd been reluctant to try it really because we were
cowards. We knew that </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">the
few times </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">before </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">when</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
we had hidden the iPad in the mornings, he'd wake the whole house up
at 5.30am singing or playing </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">l</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">oudly.
</span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">T</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">hat
night though, </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">we bit the
bullet and gave him and out and out ban </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">o</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">n</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
all hand held screen time</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
in the week and no longer than a handful of 10 mins intervals on the
weekends. His behaviour DRASTICALLY improved. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">The
doctor </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">did</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
g</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">i</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">ve
us some advice about sleep </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">which
has really </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">helped </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">too.
The two</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;"> things </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">must
be </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">related. He’s
currently not waking up super early and it </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">can’t
be a coincidence</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">that
</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">he’</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">s
not allowed</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;"> to race down
stairs and get the iPad. He gets up and draws </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">or</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">plays with his lego</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">.
He doesn’t bellow the house down! </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">Who
knew?!</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;"> I’m utterly gob
smacked by the whole thing! Why the HECK didn’t we do this sooner?!
I mean really?! What is WRONG with us! </span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">Mornings
are so SO much easier without him being stroppy and </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">rude</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
after being asked to put </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">the
iPad</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;"> down. He's a different
child. Not only has his mood improved, he's stopped being so horrible
to his sister </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">which is a
bloody miracle. He spends his time either on the trampoline, writing
stories, drawing or making stuff. It seems so completely obvious now…</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">It is still a bit of a battle
</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;"><i>sometimes.</i></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
When he’s feeling tired and lazy, he’ll just want to sit down and
zone out and he’ll beg to go on a phone or whatever. But we are
standing firm. He’ll usually just settle for a film on the TV.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 0.28cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">So
my advice to you, at the end of this, </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">is</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
if you are having behaviour </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">issu</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">es
with your kids and you can’t work out why, maybe check how much
screen time they get. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">K</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">ids
aren’t al</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">l the</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
same </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">b</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">ut
for some, it’s </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mos_Def"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">most</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">
defi</span></a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">nitely a
</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , serif;">perpetrator of doom! So
perhaps it’s time to step away from the iPad….</span></div>
Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-490595345235184512017-09-09T13:45:00.000+01:002017-09-17T12:53:25.227+01:00Kids Characters I want to Shag (Warning: contains graphic content)<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Look, I know this is a pretty unoriginal observation. But yeah. When you’re stuck in front of kids TV for hours, breast-feeding, bottle-feeding, ironing, sorting the washing or just clinging onto consciousness for sheer life …..sometimes your loins start to stir. Don’t deny it. It’s one of the only perks of watching banal shit for hours on end, day in & day out. Fantasising about kids characters you wouldn’t kick out of bed. And if you’re like me, you’re also dissecting their techniques. Now this is a game all sexualities can play. I am a lady who likes men so mine are all male. I can’t, ahem, confirm that they are all HUMAN form but in fantasyland I don’t *</span><b style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">think</b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">* it’s classed as bestiality. But if you are a lady who likes ladies or a man who likes mens, then I sure there are characters out there who fill your sexual boots too.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here’s my list (in no particular order except the first one)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1) Mr Bloom. I AM OBSESSED BY HIM. I don’t even know if he’s still on Cbeebies but 'ecky thump….he gives me a <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wide+on&defid=57370" target="_blank">wide on</a>. (don’t click that link, those that are easily offended). I’m not even that into blonds normally. But he does something to me that makes my jaw go slack. I think it’s his cheeky “pretend” Manchester swagger, kindly “Northern” accent and the way he’s so nurturing to his veggies. Honestly when sings “My, haven’t YOU grooown”… there’s a slug trail situation on my sofa. He really REALLY gives me the horn. This illusion was shattered slightly when I saw him being interviewed about the Cbeebies Xmas panto. In real life he’s a bit of a stage school lovey. Sad times. A little reminiscent of <a href="http://40.media.tumblr.com/6b8e007294e5ef78ecf6b993c5aba6cd/tumblr_mojqsc1y3w1ruyz4so6_1280.png" target="_blank">Ollie Plimsolls</a> from League of Gentlemen. (Put yourself into a child!) It’s true what they say, never meet your heroes.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2) Disney’s Robin Hood. This is where it all started for me. At the ripe old age</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4ssheGWlvUA/Wb5hwlXg78I/AAAAAAAAqvE/vebb4oQ14h0amkeDFDzN2clOOpbhmq_6wCLcBGAs/s1600/05.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="500" height="150" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4ssheGWlvUA/Wb5hwlXg78I/AAAAAAAAqvE/vebb4oQ14h0amkeDFDzN2clOOpbhmq_6wCLcBGAs/s200/05.jpg" width="200" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> of (no word of a lie….) 6. I saw Robin Hood with that gorgeous, charismatic fox...and my destiny as a dirty old horn-bag was laid bare before me. I was smitten. He made me feel weird things in my tummy! I literally felt a bit sick when I thought about him and I would obsessively draw pictures of him everywhere. However having just had a quick squiz on YouTube for a clip to embed (oh sorry, I am </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourth_wall" style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">breaking the fourth wall</a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">!) I’ve realised with slight horror that he sounds nothing like I remembered. I had a weird crush on a man who sounds like my grandfather. Oh god. Don’t. MOVING ON!</span></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/--UgAIJRutBo/WbPfEFsJrfI/AAAAAAAAqsg/cl-PQhnYthcvRqpv-Bc6VSv9VnTwRs89wCEwYBhgL/s1600/Madagascar_marty.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1024" height="148" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/--UgAIJRutBo/WbPfEFsJrfI/AAAAAAAAqsg/cl-PQhnYthcvRqpv-Bc6VSv9VnTwRs89wCEwYBhgL/s200/Madagascar_marty.gif" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3) Marty from Madagascar. This is a weird one. It’s arisen because I’ve had to endure a bloody Madagascar 1, 2 & 3 marathon for the last 2 days. Chris Rock is funny as fuck. No doubt. And men who make me laugh are generally the ones I want to shag senseless. But his character in this film ISN’T sexy. He’s like a child! But a man child. So even though I am uncomfortable with myself for this, I am pretty sure in human terms a 10 yr old Zebra would be at LEAST 21...right? RIGHT??? I think my brain just shook my vagina awake from sheer boredom, to be honest.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">4) Dangermouse. I thought he was SO cool. He reminded me of my super cool best mate Matthew Steel (who I also crushed on for my entire childhood). He was sarcastic and funny and brilliant. As an adult…discovering he was voiced by David Jason… oh dear. <a href="https://youtu.be/63rcdLeXiU8?t=31s" target="_blank">Delboy</a> HELL NO.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">5) Elvis from Fireman Sam. HEAR ME OUT…. Look I know he’s fucking idiot….but he can move! He’s got Elvis’s snake hips! I know Elvis was a hideous old, burger snaffling racist but Fireman Sam’s Elvis is a sweet, dopey, fuck boy. He can hold his hose over me anytime he likes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">6) Kristoff from Frozen. This is a more obvious one. But I like how flipping grumpy and misanthropic he is. Also he’s big and rough. I think he’d show you a good time, rogering you silly on top of the hay bales. Sven has to wait outside though, K? <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-oFqCVNnbM" target="_blank">Reindeer maybe better than people</a> but I am not into performance art. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">7) <a href="http://ttte.wikia.com/wiki/Victor" target="_blank">Victor</a> from Thomas & Friends. OK so I’ve saved the weirdest til last. I want to fuck a train. There I said it. An elderly train as well. But he’s got a very sexy Cuban accent. And he’s so sweet. He’s got a total fuckwit as a side kick called Kevin and all he ever does is be patient and kind to him. I think he’d be a tender lover.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Obviously there are ten thousand kids characters you wouldn’t wanna touch with a barge pole...amirite? I mean I don’t even really need to mention the sex-less Mr <a href="http://southendnewsnetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Mr-Tumble.jpg" target="_blank">Tumble</a>, <a href="http://jrtalent.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/MISTER-MAKER.png" target="_blank">Mister Maker</a> and weird-hairline <a href="https://media.ents24network.com/image/000/131/858/0fc0e4e5dc7204a8976f37ef6af63ac24b047a36.jpg" target="_blank">Andy</a> from Cbeebies. Then there’s others like <a href="http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/paw-patrol/images/e/e6/PAW_Patrol_Pups_in_a_Fix_Ryder.png/revision/latest?cb=20160404215606" target="_blank">Ryder</a> from Paw Patrol. You know he’d be two pumps and a squirt with a red-faced apology. And Postman Pat...the fuck is his look about? He looks like a granny with his fuzzy hair and glasses. Although he HAS got an interesting shaped nose…..</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That nose tho...</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">OK I think I better leave it there. So. There you go. My list of kids tv characters I’d like to shag. Now don’t say I am alone. Fill my comments box with your own lustful list please! </span></div>
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Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-60451197960385064502017-09-03T21:43:00.000+01:002018-04-09T16:48:11.388+01:00The Cheese Tag™<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">The
cheese tag. A Mrs Helicopter production for all those for whom CHEESE
IS LIFE.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Rules:
Copy and paste the questions below. Answer them on your blog, link
back to the person who tagged you, link back to ME because I am the
cheese tag mastermind! And then tag 3-5 cheese lovers you know to
join in the fun. After that tweet it out, tweet your tagees tweet me
<a href="https://twitter.com/JessHelicopter" target="_blank">@jesshelicopter </a>and I shall RT you too! And I want to read everyone’s
answers too, it’s not just because I am an internet megalomaniac.
(I am)<br />
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Hooray! Let’s begin cheese fans!!!!!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>1)
What is your favourite cheese and why?<br /><br />2)
List your top 3 and describe them.<br /><br />3)
Did you like cheese as a kid?<br /><br />4)
Is there a cheese you don’t like? Why?<br /><br />5)
Any bad experiences with cheese?<br /><br />6)
Do you associate a particular cheese with a specific event? List all!<br /><br />7)
What is your favourite food to accompany your cheese?<br /><br />8)
What is your favourite beverage to accompany your cheese?<br /><br />9)
What is your favourite way to eat cheese as an ingredient? Eg pizza,
macaroni cheese, mash. Whatevs.<br /><br />10)
If you could only eat either cheese or chocolate for the rest of your
life, which would you choose?<br /><br />11)
Have you ever experienced cheese sweats? (you’ve had too much
cheese)<br /><br />12)
Do your children and / or pets like cheese?<br /><br />13)
What’s your favourite cheesy film?<br /><br />14)
What’s your favourite cheesy song?<br /><br />15)
Ultimate test: If you were offered a million pounds in cold, hard
cash to give up cheese for the rest of your life, would you do it?</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">That’s
it! Get answering and tagging!!!!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><u>My
Answers</u>:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">1)
<b>What is your favourite cheese and why?</b> Toughie. Goat’s cheese
chevré. I love the dirtiness of the after taste contrasted with the
creamy / crumbly texture. And the rind. It has it all. </span></span>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">2)
<b>List your top 3 and describe them.</b> Not including goat’s cheese
then: Dolcelatte ….blue cheese, very soft, mild and very creamy;
Manchego, dry but creamy; Epoisse, stinky to hell but lush. </span></span>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">3)<b>
Did you like cheese as a kid? </b>Yes. Loved it. </span></span>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">4)<b>
Is there a cheese you don’t like?</b> No. Well I can think of a rude
answer but I'll stick with no. Why? Because I have respect for my
readers….</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">5)
<b>Any bad experiences with cheese?</b> I found a piece of sweetcorn in a
cheese and mayo sandwich my mum made when I was in primary school and
I’ve never been able to have those sandwiches ever again. It’s
not as if I don’t like sweetcorn. The unexpectedness of it’s
presence has marred me for life. </span></span>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">6)
<b>Do you associate a particular cheese with a specific event? List all!</b>
But of course! For my wedding day we had a wedding cake made entirely
from tiers of different welsh cheeses. Christmas is of course Stilton
time but sometimes I’ll order a Vacherin Mont D’or from Madame
Fromage. DIVINE, darling! </span></span>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SFkuR4_pWus/Waxm3WjRUMI/AAAAAAAAqpY/4t6-LXLK9L45sVi0p8uwJP74yhwVmBJowCEwYBhgL/s1600/DSCF1198.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="638" data-original-width="798" height="255" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SFkuR4_pWus/Waxm3WjRUMI/AAAAAAAAqpY/4t6-LXLK9L45sVi0p8uwJP74yhwVmBJowCEwYBhgL/s320/DSCF1198.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My wedding "cake" of cheeses.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">7)
<b>What is your favourite food to accompany your cheese?</b> If it’s
cheddar then always kalamata olives, oat cakes and sliced fresh beef
tomatoes. Any other cheese, oat cakes. Fresh tomato doesn’t always
work with stronger cheeses like Camembert. Maybe cucumber? I’m not
into fruit and cheese though. Apple at a push. No grapes though, K?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">8)
<b>What is your favourite beverage to accompany your cheese?</b>
Shiraz...but of course. But to be honest, I am happy with no drink.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">9)<b>
What is your favourite way to eat cheese as an ingredient?</b> Eg pizza,
macaroni cheese, mash. Whatevs. Penne Dolcelatte! Yummers! Basically
Dolcelatte melted in cream, some shredded sage & black pepper
tossed up with penne pasta. </span></span>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">10)
<b>If you could only eat either cheese or chocolate for the rest of your
life, which would you choose?</b> Cheese. OBVS. </span></span>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">11)<b>
Have you ever experienced cheese sweats?</b> (you’ve had too much
cheese) Every Christmas and probably many occasions in between. </span></span>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">12)<b>
Do your children and / or pets like cheese?</b> Joni isn’t a fan but
she’s 3. There’s time. Gus has only just come around to it. And
one of my cats loves cheese more than fresh fish. But she doesn’t
get more than a tiny nibble very occasionally. It’s not good for
her. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">13)
<b>What’s your favourite cheesy film?</b> OK don’t kill me. Love,
Actually. The Emma Thompson story line kills me. And I love Joni
Mitchell. And I want that necklace. But as I rule I despise Richard
Curtis and all his white-washed, middle class twee films. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">14)
<b>What’s your favourite cheesy song?</b> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGuFn0RPgaE" target="_blank">Yes Sir, I can Boogie</a> by
Baccara. I’m not embarrassed by this. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">15)
<b>Ultimate test:</b> If you were offered a million pounds in cold, hard
cash to give up cheese for the rest of your life, would you do it?
HELL to the NO. And I am deadly serious. </span></span>
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FrMA8sLdpgk/WaxnvKYEPJI/AAAAAAAAqpo/5GHpH1l9kzAukbvaQBBMZiIwU-rKGfTGwCLcBGAs/s1600/485019_10152423525020001_1245877895_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="620" data-original-width="582" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FrMA8sLdpgk/WaxnvKYEPJI/AAAAAAAAqpo/5GHpH1l9kzAukbvaQBBMZiIwU-rKGfTGwCLcBGAs/s320/485019_10152423525020001_1245877895_n.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Vacherin Mont D'or</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I
tag: </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><a href="https://twitter.com/JadePirard" target="_blank">Jade Pirard</a> from <a href="http://www.lateforreality.co.uk/" target="_blank">Late for Reality</a></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><a href="https://twitter.com/thiswelshmother" target="_blank">Ceri Gillet </a>from <a href="http://thiswelshmother.co.uk/" target="_blank">This Welsh Mother</a></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><a href="https://twitter.com/cakeybakeytart" target="_blank">Sarah Herminan</a> from <a href="http://thehernimanhouse.co.uk/" target="_blank">The Herminan House</a></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><a href="https://twitter.com/BearandCardigan" target="_blank">Sally Kent</a> from <a href="http://www.teddybearsandcardigans.com/" target="_blank">Teddybears and Cardigans</a></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><a href="https://twitter.com/kallenwriter" target="_blank">Kelly Allen</a> from <a href="https://www.kellyallenwriter.com/" target="_blank">Kelly Allen Writer</a></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://twitter.com/cookiekibbles" style="font-family: "helvetica neue", monospace;" target="_blank">Cookie</a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", monospace;"> from </span><a href="https://notaneffingfairytaleblog.com/" style="font-family: "helvetica neue", monospace;" target="_blank">Not An Effing Fairytale</a></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><a href="https://twitter.com/disorganisedw" target="_blank">Natalie</a> from <a href="https://thedisorganisedhousewifeblog.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">The Disorganised Housewife</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><a href="https://twitter.com/MsPurplePumpkin" target="_blank">Shell </a>from <a href="http://www.thepurplepumpkinblog.co.uk/" target="_blank">The Purple Pumpkin Blog</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><a href="https://twitter.com/NelliePomPoms" target="_blank"><br /></a></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , monospace;"><a href="https://twitter.com/NelliePomPoms" target="_blank">Nellie</a> from <a href="https://www.nelliepompoms.co.uk/" target="_blank">Nellie Pom Poms</a></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://twitter.com/JuliesNB" target="_blank">Julie</a> from <a href="http://juliesnotebook.co.uk/" target="_blank">Julie's Notebook</a></span>
</div>
Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-78688809789042137092017-08-24T16:56:00.000+01:002017-08-24T21:35:56.118+01:00Festival Mama vs Sofa Mama<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Festival Season
is well and truly upon us. And I’m seeing loads of pics on social media from friends who’ve
come back from Green Man and Camp Bestival and all sorts of other outdoorsy musical events and I must say, I’m a little bit envious. That’ will
NEVER be me and my kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VBbULVqo1yg/WZ7142CHshI/AAAAAAAAqgE/v4VKWSir7kM2EPoYPyXwYG-iOmIXVyf4gCLcBGAs/s1600/P1030274.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="950" data-original-width="1267" height="239" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VBbULVqo1yg/WZ7142CHshI/AAAAAAAAqgE/v4VKWSir7kM2EPoYPyXwYG-iOmIXVyf4gCLcBGAs/s320/P1030274.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Big Day Out, Melbourne 2006</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As a teenager, I
absolutely LOVED a festival. I can honestly say that bunking off school at 17
and going to Glastonbury in the back of a battered old van with the local
crusties was one of the definitive moments of my life. I didn’t think I could
be any happier than when I was at that festival, surrounded by fellow drunken /
high “alternative types”. Of course, in 1993 it was actually still hot and
sunny during summer so this was long
before the bog-fest of later years. It was all incense, tie dye, tassels, sun-scorched
grass, stone circles, crazy dancing, jamming on guitars with strangers,
delicious smelling food stalls and warm beer in plastic beakers. I’d see hippy
mamas with babies strapped to their bodies with colourful scarves and dirty
kids with beads in their matted hair and think “that’s going to be me!”. I was
ALWAYS going to be a festival mama.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WR_aZaazxlw/WZ72LXGe5KI/AAAAAAAAqgI/ZxCHlZT1jV4U5MxTfKCtL-jxG_2gOnu9gCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_0162.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="901" data-original-width="673" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WR_aZaazxlw/WZ72LXGe5KI/AAAAAAAAqgI/ZxCHlZT1jV4U5MxTfKCtL-jxG_2gOnu9gCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_0162.JPG" width="238" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But skip forward
to actual parenthood 24 years later. That fantasy will never covert to reality.
It’s one thing to fall unconscious,fully clothed into your tent every night,
not wash for 5 days and drink your way through all the hangovers when you're (very) young, free and single. As a mother of 2 young kids, those are options
that are no longer available to me. No. Now my fantasy is very much….my sofa.
At a push, with the patio doors open if the weather is clement enough. So, I
thought I’d compile a list of pros and cons to make myself feel better about
the fact that I will probably never see the Pyramid Stage in real life again….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>MUSIC</b><b> </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Festival: Live -
Brilliant, varied, loud.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa: Spotify or
6 Music – Repetitive, dull, quiet. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: red; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Festival
wins!</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>ATMOSPHERE</b><b> </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Festival:
Amazing, feel good, inspiring, creative, exciting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa: Very much
dependant of behaviour of children. On average, angry. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: red; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Festival
wins!</span><span style="color: red; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>FOOD</b><b> </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Festival: Delicious, varied, imaginative, good veggie choices. Very
overpriced. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa: Cheap, convenient, somewhat dull. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: red; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Tiebreak! </span>(Festival can’t win because it’s still too
much money. Sofa can’t win because it’s not that
exciting) <b> </b><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">DANCING<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Festival: Wild, crazy, lots of it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa: Little to none. (A few jiggles with small girl when guilted into
it)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: red; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Festival wins! </span><span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SOCIALISING</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Festival: Either with friends or you make
friends (especially if you’re drunk and in a long queue). Lots of IRL socialising.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa: Social Media. Fellow parents who
come over for coffee or wine. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: red; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Tiebreak!
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>DRINKING</b><b> <o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Festival: Whatever you’ve managed to sneak in (can you even sneak stuff in
these days?!) Overpriced lager or “craft beers”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa: Your favourite drink, from the cheapest place you can find it,
bought in bulk and consumed in bulk.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa wins!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>FREEDOM</b><b> <o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Festival: Kids by your side at ALL times including bedtime and going to
the loo.<b> <o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa: Free time when you sneak off for a poo, free time when you inevitably
send them to their room/naughty step, free time when they voluntarily go off to
play, free time when they are in bed, free time if you’ve organised a rare
night out with other adults.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: red; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa Wins! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SLEEP<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Festival: Little to none. If you’re not staying up late ill-advisedly
partying with other foolish parents, you’re trying to sleep through the
pounding music, other people’s fun and drunkenness, your kids not being able to
sleep, other kids not being able to sleep and everyone waking with cricked
necks and rocks in their backs at 5am. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa: As good as it will ever get….which is still better than festival
sleeping. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: red; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa wins! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">HANGOVER<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Festival: Hell on earth. See previous lack of sleep, mix with noise,
dirt, strong smells, no where to lie down and cry. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa: Cushions, blankets,
being able to parent from one place whilst lying flat on your back with all the
pop and crisps.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: red; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Sofa wins! </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">COMFORT</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Festival: However posh your festival is…you’re basically either on a
plastic chair or a rug on the floor all day. If not on your feet for hours. (I
once stood for 7 hours at a festival in Dublin without moving because the crowd
was so dense)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa: This one is a no brainer.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa wins!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">COST<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Festival: Tickets, camping, petrol, food, drink, extra kids activities…it’s EXPENSIVE. <b> <o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa: Free.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa wins! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">CLEANLINESS<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Festival: Now things may have moved on from the 90s but my feeling is
that even if there are porta-showers rather than weird wooden huts and trickles
of water that you queued hours for, or taps you put your head under….it’s not
going to be great. I imagine mainly baby wipes and anti bac. No thanks. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa: Bath or shower whenever I WANT!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa wins! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">LOOS<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Festival: I mean, I don’t even really need to say anything here do I? I’ve
seen some very, very bad things in festival portaloos. Those images will never
leave me and to be honest, I’m not sure if I’d have coped if I hadn’t had
therapy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa: MY OWN PERSONAL TOILET THAT I CAN CLEAN. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sofa wins! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So as you can see, sofa has categorically won the battle.
I will not be attending any outdoors events in the near future. I like my loos
clean, and my bed soft. Hippy Mama is not my destiny. </span><span style="color: red; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-48274340519084201482017-08-22T17:28:00.000+01:002017-08-23T14:09:28.365+01:00Are you a Toxic Slut-Shamer?<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Pop Quiz: Are
you a toxic slut-shamer or not?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">You walk into
a restaurant and you notice a slender woman in a super low cut top, short skirt
and smooth legs up to her armpits. Do you think:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">a)<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Woah,
she’s hot!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">b)<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Woah,
she’s brave!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">c)<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Woah,
wish I had those… (whatever)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">d)<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Eeeew,
put it away love!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">e)<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">I
wonder what the specials are today?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">I will
confess. Up until not long ago, I would have probably thought a combination of a) c) and…. shamefully… d). Yes I would have been a bit grossed out by all
the sexiness on display. I was definitely a toxic slut-shamer. I quite clearly
remember expressing disgust at picture of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Goldman" target="_blank">Jane Goldman</a> at some
awards thing and the words “cow’s udders” being muttered (from my own lips…). I’m
hugely embarrassed by this now though. I suck. But I’m <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=woke" target="_blank">woke! </a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-imQKmsdeIUE/WZxamjlyUBI/AAAAAAAAqfQ/RA3Z1SGzJZYedYwt8Dv3HlfjTvLTJUbJACLcBGAs/s1600/WGMkLiG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1100" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-imQKmsdeIUE/WZxamjlyUBI/AAAAAAAAqfQ/RA3Z1SGzJZYedYwt8Dv3HlfjTvLTJUbJACLcBGAs/s320/WGMkLiG.jpg" width="220" /></a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";"><br />
My only defence is that there is a deeply ingrained whore-hatred in our society.
We are taught either directly (by religion) or indirectly (the media) to
believe that women wearing skimpy clothes equals “ho” behaviour. It’s a dusty
old hangover from previous historical and heavily religious periods where
chastity is seen as pure. But, of course, only for WOMEN! The fetishization of the
“virgin” is well known….again just those lady virgin types though please! Not
interested in the men ones!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Can we just
point out here, that there wouldn’t be any virgins TO sacrifice if it hadn’t
been for the woman happy to be defiled (after marriage of course!)? I mean, ok
at least <b>some</b> of those chaste virgins would have been conceived through
consensual sex that the woman enjoyed just as much as the men, right?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">The weird
hypocrisy of it all! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">It’s hard to extricate
yourself from the mind-set of a society whose foundations were built on strict
Christian, white male beliefs. Where they decided what was and wasn’t “appropriate”
for a women’s behaviour, desires and dress code. And even though, as a whole,
people are much more liberal than their stricter predecessors, there are definitely
still varying levels of what people will feel comfortable with in terms of what
women should wear in public. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">But the
reality is, in 2017…it’s abhorrent for any person to<i> judge</i> another person on what they are wearing. WHATEVER they are
wearing. If you are a lady person and want to walk around in a bikini, Stetson and
wellies….go for it! You should have the choice to wear what you want! And don’t
even get me started on whether or not that person is within her “healthy weight
range”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Also I can see
that there could be a perception that the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_gaze" target="_blank">male gaze</a> is a problem here.
We don’t live in a vacuum where the only people viewing our bodies are the same
like-minded, liberal, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cisgender" target="_blank">cisgendered</a> women (i.e. people with female sex organs who identify as women as
opposed to transgendered). We are being viewed by all….men, women and children.
So by dressing like a *ho are we not just sustaining the ideology of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_objectification" target="_blank">woman as object</a>
for man to “gaze” (or wank) over? Well…yes kind of but also no. The difference
here is CHOOSING what we want to wear. There is CHOICE. We are <i>actively </i>deciding to wear skimpy clothes
so we are transformed from passive object to autonomous subject…"I <i>want </i>to get my wabs out today and no one
is going to stop me. They’re great and I need to share them with the world!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Society been
led to believe that certain things are “sexy”…. Big perky boobs, full lips,
slim long legs, bouncing bum etc. You can’t escape that. But does that mean
that you can never enjoy sex or enjoy your own sexuality? You must remain a
repressed, chaste lady for fear of being called a slag? Hell to the NO! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">You have to
reclaim your body. Just as some of us have reclaimed the terms “bitches” and “hos” from
being slurs to being our own terms of playful affection; just as gay guys
reclaimed the word queer for themselves; just as some people of African descent
reclaimed the n word. We (cis gendered women) can reclaim our bodies too. Meaning
that if we chose to dress like what society deems as “whore-pie” ….then that’s
up to us and no judgement should be forthcoming. We should even <a href="http://freethenipple.com/" target="_blank">free the nip</a> without fear of
reprisal. WE didn’t sexualise our own nips! Men did! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Another more
serious note here. Slut-shamers are to blame for keeping rape culture alive.
People who judge women on their clothing choices are sending a message that
women who dress a certain way are “asking for the wrong kind of attention”. Let
me just shut down that shower of shit right now. No. However a woman / girl /
lady dresses is NOT ONE BIT RELEVANT to whether or not she should be heckled,
touched, abused or raped. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">There was a link
about drunken people at a <a href="http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/624272/Royal-Ascot-2017-Ladies-Day-Alcohol-Drunk-Flashing-Aintree-Grand-National-Cheltenham-Drink" target="_blank">horseracing event</a> from some red top on Facebook not long ago and the comment
thread was shocking. Almost ALL of the comments were about the gratuitous
up-skirt shots of drunken girls. From people who I’d previously thought as open-minded.
These girls apparently “shouldn’t get that drunk in public”…. “Weren’t they
ashamed having their knickers on display???” Nothing about the men lying in
heaps with puke down their shirts….nothing about the fact that most of the
women seemed to be having a right laugh. The comments made me feel truly sad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">The world is
full of judgemental imbeciles….and I was very much one of those. I’m grossed out
by own judgeyness but even more so because (fess up number 2)…. it was so unbelievably
hypocritical ….in my youth and slimmer days, I would quite often wear extremely
low cut tops and push up bras…. I loved getting my “girls” out. Was I insecure?
Or did I just love showing off? Or was I just expressing my total and utter
right to do so? What do YOU think? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: red; font-size: 15.0pt;">Lots
of love, the reformed, hypocritical slut-shamer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-l1DnUt_q-tA/WZxanMtq15I/AAAAAAAAqfU/7IJHOf7Xiuw57y8n5QOW7xC0tPEm7cDzwCEwYBhgL/s1600/Yeah%2Bi%2527m%2Bwel%2Bclassy%2Bwith%2Bmy%2Bbeer%2Ban%2527%2Bfags.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Z65qz-izGxk/WZxamiKwOTI/AAAAAAAAqfI/C7JFtunK_qohpgyjCn31Mh1-rZhYK1oIwCEwYBhgL/s1600/I_am_a_fox.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="901" data-original-width="676" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Z65qz-izGxk/WZxamiKwOTI/AAAAAAAAqfI/C7JFtunK_qohpgyjCn31Mh1-rZhYK1oIwCEwYBhgL/s320/I_am_a_fox.jpg" width="240" /></a><img border="0" data-original-height="901" data-original-width="1201" height="240" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-l1DnUt_q-tA/WZxanMtq15I/AAAAAAAAqfU/7IJHOf7Xiuw57y8n5QOW7xC0tPEm7cDzwCEwYBhgL/s320/Yeah%2Bi%2527m%2Bwel%2Bclassy%2Bwith%2Bmy%2Bbeer%2Ban%2527%2Bfags.JPG" width="320" /><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Z65qz-izGxk/WZxamiKwOTI/AAAAAAAAqfI/C7JFtunK_qohpgyjCn31Mh1-rZhYK1oIwCEwYBhgL/s1600/I_am_a_fox.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uLtK2zMLAWQ/WZxamp7I1qI/AAAAAAAAqfM/gGnDKaV2vj0MorNlOh9RMo9CjelLQQX2ACEwYBhgL/s1600/P1030163.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="901" data-original-width="1201" height="240" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uLtK2zMLAWQ/WZxamp7I1qI/AAAAAAAAqfM/gGnDKaV2vj0MorNlOh9RMo9CjelLQQX2ACEwYBhgL/s320/P1030163.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Z65qz-izGxk/WZxamiKwOTI/AAAAAAAAqfI/C7JFtunK_qohpgyjCn31Mh1-rZhYK1oIwCEwYBhgL/s1600/I_am_a_fox.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </a></div>
<span style="background: white; color: red; font-size: 15.0pt;"><o:p><br />
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<span style="background: white; font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 10pt;">*it’s ok…I’ve reclaimed this word. </span><span style="background: white; font-family: "segoe ui emoji" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">😉 </span></div>
Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-57119891106088494062017-06-20T12:39:00.000+01:002017-06-20T12:39:45.006+01:00Wobbly but Naked - Embrace it!<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I love being naked. Just gimme some hot, hot heat and I’ll strip in a jiff! Are you beach ready yet? Or are you a quivering mess of bodily self-hatred, meekly prodding at your orange peel thighs with an increasing feeling of dread and horror that as the temperature sores you will be forced to bear these bad boys to the big bad judgey-mc judgepants world?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Well I am here to tell you…. DON’T BE THAT GUY!*<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">*(girl…probably).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I want to tell you that it doesn’t matter! No one REALLY cares what you look like. At the beach no one really will be scrutinising your love handles or baulking over your muffin top. Everyone is far more interested in what THEY look like! So be the winner and say STUFF it….and get those chubby bits out!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">On honeymoon in Sardinia. No fucks given. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It will feel weird and scary to begin with…. It’s natural to feel like you’re being judged when you do something new…but remember, there’s probably NO ONE actually watching and the rewards are ace! Be BRAVE! It’s the just first hurdle you need to get over. Just pop that t-shirt off and sit back, relax and realise no one has any fucks to give about it. Least of all your kids who see you as a <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kxYfCVXYsQo/UQ31WRltv-I/AAAAAAAADdo/aIcVZrN4y9U/s1600/robo_nanny_400x496.jpg" target="_blank">MUMTRON</a>or <a href="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/26/7e/33/267e337351a19f092647e8dda58ee633.jpg" target="_blank">DADTRON</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Embracing the chub. Showing OFF the chub even</span>. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Once you’ve done a bit of flesh baring…you’ll realise how BRILLIANT it is. It’s so freeing! Next step…get in the sea or in the pool and whip off your bikini top. Ok so I’m not advocating doing this at the local swimming baths…perhaps if you have a private pool with your holiday villa or choose a bit of sea that’s empty… the feeling of free boobies in the water is a joy that can rarely be reproduced! I’m sure it must feel similar to lightly bobbing testes in the undulating swell! Lovely! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Topless a step too far? Well ease yourself in. Perhaps just try lying in your garden with more bits out than you’d normally share with the world. And build up to being naked or MORE naked from there. Only YOU can be the orchestrator of your own bodily freedom!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Ooh I’m starting to sound like the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvRnaIkIjvc" target="_blank">Gok Wan</a> of blogging! Except I haven’t mentioned “empowerment, darling”… yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">OK so seriously, I know it’s easier said than done…. I’ve already stated that I like being naked. My parents were always naked around us. It wasn’t even a thing to them. (Much to my horror as teenager, obviously, but I got over it). They weren’t crazy naturists…I think we went to a nudist camp when I was 6 months old but that was as far as their public nudity foray went. And for cripes’ sake, it WAS the 70s! Everyone was hairy and naked at some point in that decade! So I think that just gave me a lack of self-consciousness about nakedness from a very early age.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me, naked at 6 weeks old!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I wasn’t an overweight kid or teenager so perhaps I may have been more self-conscious if I had been. However, in my early 20s I put on a lot of weight. I was no longer acceptable as a naked / scantily-clad person in public. But although I knew my body was disgusting to other people (and to be fair, I felt it was disgusting too) it didn’t stop me going to the beach and wearing a bikini or going swimming regularly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">It’s not that I think I look amazing. I don’t walk around in hot pants and crop tops. I do dress to hide some of the wobbliest bits and enhance the less wobbly. It’s just that, when I get somewhere where I want to be naked (pool, beach, back garden).... it's like a switch goes off in my head. An “I don’t care” switch. And out it all comes!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Also it’s sometimes the more practical option…. I often do the housework naked on the weekends because I get too hot and then have a shower and dress afterwards. Common sense innit?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I am the same around my kids…. They will see me naked forever, unless it makes them feel uncomfortable. I don’t intend hosting birthday parties in the buff but you know what I mean. I want to be as good an example to them as my parents were to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">So you see, you could be doing it for them too! Teach them to not be ashamed of their bodies! Hooray!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Now how about it? Put down your tea, gingerly step out into the back garden and fling off that top! YES! FREE THE BOOBIES!!! And then come right back here and tell me it doesn’t feel amazing!!!!! Go! NOW!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">*wiggles naked boobies and wobbly belly*</span></div>
Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-84906536793112606332017-05-25T15:57:00.000+01:002017-05-25T15:57:37.138+01:00Is Comparison The Thief of Joy?<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">After the
events in <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/uk-england-manchester-40007967" target="_blank">Manchester</a> this week I’ve been thinking a lot about comparisons in life. At a time like this you can’t
help but look for deeper meaning in the universe....and for me part of that is about comparing what I have with what others do. When scary events shake your
sense of stability in the world… families and friends devastated for the rest
of their lives for daring to go to concert and have fun…. It's inevitable to feel grateful for your life and the life of your loved ones. The horror and
sadness you feel for the victims and their families and the gratitude and relief
you feel for your babies/partners/siblings/parents/friends will be
overwhelming. As the clichéd memes proclaim, you WILL want to hug your loved
ones a little closer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">So that’s a
comparison. Obviously. A positive comparison, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">But, hang on.
Aren’t we taught that "comparison is the thief of joy"? Cos according to good ol' <a href="https://quotefancy.com/quote/33048/Theodore-Roosevelt-Comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy" target="_blank">Teddy Roosevelt</a>
it is! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">How can that
make sense? That’s exactly the type of comparison that gives us perspective. Surely
it’s serves a perfect tool to keep us grounded when things are going a bit cray
cray?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Well. Comparison
can also be a harbinger of doom too. There have been <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/ales-zivkovic/linking-social-media-and-_b_12637042.html" target="_blank">several</a> <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2015/04/08/new-study-links-facebook-to-depression-but-now-we-actually-understand-why/#6cfecf5d1e6d" target="_blank">articles </a>in the
<a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/social-media-is-making-us-depressed-lets-learn-to-turn-it-off-a6974526.html" target="_blank">media</a> about how social media is making us saddums because most people only post
the <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jessa67/" target="_blank">heavily filtered</a> highlights of their life. And if you constantly compare
your life with those who you perceive as more successful or rich or ….whatever
it is that you want but don’t have….. (In my case thinnyness!) <b><i>Of
course</i></b> you are going to feel a cavernous emptiness and worthlessness
that will be hard to crawl back out of.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">I have to
admit, I’m a bit of a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thou_shalt_not_covet" target="_blank">coveter</a>. I like a good covet. I’ve previously admitted a
(now-not-so-secret) morbid fascination with The Kardashians. I love watching
their wealth. I know that’s a truly vulgar thing to admit but I looooove seeing
their life style. Their perfect make up, their non-moving faces, their
pristine, maHoooosive houses, their endless holidays and trips to restaurants,
their huge cars, their lovely, straightened shiny hair! It makes me want all
their things! I want to have endless holidays and perfect hair and fake skin!
It makes me strive to be better disciplined in my eating and exercise, it makes
me want to present a smarter appearance to the outside world…If I could tap
into just a little bit of their glamorousness….wouldn’t my life just be a teensy
bit better?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">It’s a common
thought process: if I just had a BIT more money, if I was just a BIT better at
eating healthy, if I just did a BIT more exercise then then then…. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Personally I
have been finding it really hard not to wish away the time until my youngest is
in full time school. We’re on our knees with childcare fees and every month it’s
a financial struggle. So sometimes I can’t help but compare our situation to
others who don’t seem to struggle so much financially. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">But I’ve
recently had an epiphany. Yes I just used that word….but it’s true. I’ve
realised, finally, that I might never ever be happier than I am right now. I might
be thinner and we will very probably be in a better financial state, but who
knows what else might accompany that? We are all getting older, the world is
seemingly a bit shakier….. Who knows what could happen? Illness and death are
inevitable parts of life and our family won’t escape that. So who cares if you’re
rich and thin, then? Right now my family are healthy and happy. We can afford
the mortgage (we HAVE a mortgage) and we can eat and drink. I am surrounded by
love. I couldn’t be luckier. If my life never gets better than right now then
that’s 100% fine by me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Because
compared to families suffering from grief and loss, my life is the epitome of
perfect. That comparison is not the thief of joy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">Masses of love
to the people of Manchester. And if, you know, you want to like…. Then do just hold
those dearest a little closer tonight. XXXXX<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-78241201169390660102017-05-11T13:25:00.003+01:002023-09-25T13:15:21.698+01:00Panic & Anxiety: Welcome To Hell. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-REbq8kQHqEU/WRRYMq4X_bI/AAAAAAAAou8/YcB6zBYlSq80bP4LujRNXal_F4ZEDmJjACLcB/s1600/Hands-Drowning-Sea.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-REbq8kQHqEU/WRRYMq4X_bI/AAAAAAAAou8/YcB6zBYlSq80bP4LujRNXal_F4ZEDmJjACLcB/s320/Hands-Drowning-Sea.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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This week we have World Mental Health Day, so I thought I’d write a bit about my experience of anxiety and panic attacks. I know that when I was in the height of my panic disorder it was a great comfort to me to talk to people who knew what I was going though. It’s a pretty unique ordeal and for fellow sufferers: I feel your pain. Or more specifically, your fear.<br />
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And for those of you who have never had depression or anxiety, it can be quite difficult to understand how it feels. Why you can't just "pull yourself together" or "cheer up". Logic and common sense have absolutely no bearing on mental illness. </div>
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So if you have never been in receipt of the delight that is a panic / anxiety attack, let me attempt to describe what it feels like to the uninitiated:</div>
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Imagine you’re just going about your day. You’re doing something fairly innocuous like sitting on the bus or doing the washing up. You’re not thinking about anything in particular, nothing sad or happy or anything. And every so faintly…. you feel a difference. A little miniscule change in your perception. You start to feel, apropos of NOTHING… like something is not quite right, like something’s a bit <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">sinister</em>. Now you’re starting to feel cold, creeping dread trickling up your arms and into your chest and stomach. You start to feel sick and your mouth goes dry. You’re starting to feel very, very scared but you don’t know why. If it was a static level of fear, one that stabilised, then perhaps you could cope but it’s not. No way. Not a chance. Your fear levels are rising at a rate of knots and ain’t nothing gonna slow that train down. And you know this. It’s only going to get worse. That’s the clincher. As soon as you feel the tiny bit of “odd” that you felt only moments ago, you knew you were on a downwards spiral to panic hell. You’re only going to get more and more scared until you <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">feel like</em> you are going to pass out, have a heart attack and / or die. Within minutes you’ve started to hyperventilate, you’re dizzy, disoriented, you could be experiencing real chest pains from the restriction of oxygen to your lungs, you’re disassociated from your surroundings and totally locked into your own head where your mind is in free fall.</div>
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I’ve stated here that you KNOW it’s only going to get worse but of course not everyone’s anxiety DOES develop into a full-blown attack (fear of heart attack/collapse etc.) …. But really, the fear of that happening is still the same. The creeping, cold, sick feeling of dread when you’re feeling anxious means that at any point you FEEL like it’s going to escalate into the freefall madness. Which means you feel permanently locked into state of fear, like you’re crossing a wobbly tight rope which could flip you into panic oblivion at any second.</div>
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It’s the worst feeling in the world. And I’ve experienced a LOT of feelings. I’m not being dramatic (unusually) when I say, it feels like you’re in hell. It’s something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. To spend every waking hour feeling sick, loose-bowelled, shaky, light headed and in permanent fear. Of nothing. It also makes you feel like an idiot.</div>
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And the biggest problem with society’s acceptance of mental illness <i><b>is</b></i> that not everyone gets it. As I said previously, not everyone understands that it’s not something you can just pull yourself out of. In much the same way as when the black cloak of depression lands on you, almost nothing can lift it. So there will always be some people, and I’ve met a few, who really DON’T GET IT and that will make you feel like shit. IGNORE them. Ignore them safe in the knowledge that what you’re suffering sucks to hell and just by surviving and getting through the day, when you feel like that, is awesome. Because there were a lot of times I felt suicidal because of it. This is my main reason for writing, you need to know you are not alone.</div>
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Anxiety has been with me my whole life. That was something I didn’t actually realise… I don’t “feel” like an anxious person…. I don’t see myself as one of those Jane Austen style lily-livered ladies who swoon at the drop of a hat! I am a loud, arguably obnoxious, confident woman! So, until a random therapist I saw in Australia pointed it out… I’d NEVER have thought I was. Of all the counselling I’d previously had, no one thought to mention that it was something I was always going to have (because I’d always had it) and was part of my personality. All she did was ask me what my first experience of feeling panicky was. Well that was easy…. I pinpointed a time in Infants school when I was new, watching a play; then another time in Junior school being stuck in an assembly line and suddenly there were a whole list of incidents from my life were I had reacted (irrationally) with anxiety. Not obvious times when you’ve hurt yourself or lost your parent in the supermarket. But odd incidents which perhaps didn’t necessarily warrant the fear they generated in you at that time.</div>
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So it WAS true. The blunt Aussie doc was right. I WAS AN ANXIOUS PERSON. WAAAT!</div>
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That thought was terrifying to me. I could NEVER escape it. That’s the pinnacle of fear for most anxiety sufferers… you will be like this FOREVER.</div>
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Buuuut. That’s not *strictly* true. You see, at the moment, I very, very rarely get anxiety. In fact, since a small bout when my 3-yr. old was new-born, I haven’t had a prolonged period of anxiety for nearly 7 years. I know I am not free of it long term but right now, I am good. It IS possible to live without it blighting your everyday life. And when you’re right in the thick of it, you really need to hear it. There will be a time again when the first thing you think of when you open your eyes is "I fancy a cuppa" and not "Am i feeling anxious?". I promise. <span style="letter-spacing: 0.3px;">You’re going to be ok.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.3px;"> </span></div>
Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-82508172755125951692016-11-17T17:38:00.001+00:002016-11-17T17:38:52.468+00:00How Clean is YOUR House? <div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I often wonder
how clean other people’s houses REALLY are. You see, I am an awful mix of complete
neat freak and terminally lazy. I think people who often have WAY too much
going on in their heads often have neat-freak tendencies. If I can “just sort
this room out” then my brain will be all calm and my thoughts will be in order.
Perhaps it’s a sign of an anxious person. “I got all these things to think
through AND a stinky, messy pit to clean up…GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Actually. That
does sound like me.</span></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0GDqEivD6Ds/WC3p6iQjxgI/AAAAAAAAmDA/r9atqzru9wk0GEbRm_JR2sE7TN4DK74SQCLcB/s1600/vintage%2Bhousewife%2Bsurrounded%2Bby%2Bcleaning%2Bsupplies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0GDqEivD6Ds/WC3p6iQjxgI/AAAAAAAAmDA/r9atqzru9wk0GEbRm_JR2sE7TN4DK74SQCLcB/s400/vintage%2Bhousewife%2Bsurrounded%2Bby%2Bcleaning%2Bsupplies.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And I like my
house to be clean. REALLY clean and tidy at ALL times. But it isn’t. And it
never has been. Even before I had kids. Even when I only had one cat or even
when I lived abroad and had NO cats. It was never, ever shiny spick and span.
Because as with everything in life, my expectations do not meet reality. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">So then I wonder
how clean other people’s houses are. Because I am secretly weirdly competitive about
stupid things like this. Now, I am not talking about the super messy, life’s-too-short
brigade where stuff is everywhere and no fucks are given. And just for the
record, I have NO ill judgement of that either. I don’t care if you live in a
pit. And I do envy your no fucks given attitude too. Because if I had that
attitude, I’d either have been chasing the dragon, or have had my brain
entirely re-wired. My <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modus_operandi" target="_blank">MO</a> is worry about everything at all times and that
includes the state of my house. It’s not necessarily the best <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modus_operandi" target="_blank">MO</a>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I am talking
about the ones whose houses are relatively clean looking and tidy, as much as
they ever can be with small kids involved. So usually one room, at least during
waking hours, will resemble a jumble sale but that’s NORMAL. But how often do
they really clean their kitchen floor, change their sheets, wash the towels,
dust the shelves, hoover, scrub the bath? Do I do it enough? Sorry, I mean do
<a href="http://www.mrshelicopter.com/2015/05/stop-telling-me-i-am-lucky-to-have-my.html" target="_blank">WE</a> do it enough? Is it weird to ask? Would you tell the truth? Is it normal to
care? Is it a feminist issue?! OK that last question is a bit of a red herring.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The reason I got
to thinking about this is two-fold. Firstly, I do have a cleaner who used to
come fortnightly and now comes once a month. And the 5 minutes after she has
left are the cleanest my house will ever be and it’s BLISS! But she’s MIA at
the moment and I’m having a moral (if not, an excruciatingly middle class)
dilemma: do I look for a temporary replacement or do I section off a big chunk
of our weekend to get it done? And I am spoilt enough to REALLY not want to do
this! I spend most nights bashing away on social media / writing / filming /
editing / promoting and 4 days a week in work and the rest of the time
parenting. I don’t want to clean. But I want a clean house! WHAAAAAAAAAAT!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Secondly, and
this is apt, whilst we were all out ignoring house work last weekend, I stumbled
upon the fantastic and seemingly anachronistic 70s book “<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/569061.Superwoman" target="_blank">Superwoman</a>” by Shirley
Conran. Its preface stating “Life’s too Short to Stuff a Mushroom”. I had
actually picked it up to scoff at its outdatedness…. Who gives a monkeys about
being a domestic goddess these days?! Pah! GET with the times, love! But then I
actually started reading it and I was HOOKED! It’s ace! It’s witty, and funny
and SO handy! A million tips on everything to do with running a house, from
making your own washing liquids to weekly budgets and shopping tips. Having
done a little background research I’ve discovered it was quite trailblazing publication.
It was aimed at the emerging working woman who had little time to dedicate to
cleaning her house. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-k_akWdyxSMQ/WC3qE_MoiGI/AAAAAAAAmDE/VCblWEG1QS4sp2owR_kUU8bTmxnVGuU6wCLcB/s1600/15094878_1254209101308893_1992227794998927565_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-k_akWdyxSMQ/WC3qE_MoiGI/AAAAAAAAmDE/VCblWEG1QS4sp2owR_kUU8bTmxnVGuU6wCLcB/s320/15094878_1254209101308893_1992227794998927565_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Of course it IS
vastly dated in that it suggests you never ask your husband for help, even if
you ARE cutting corners a bit in your domestic duties! My reply to THAT is
<a href="http://www.mrshelicopter.com/2015/05/stop-telling-me-i-am-lucky-to-have-my.html" target="_blank">here</a>. But some of the tips are fantastic! This is a good one:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #fff2cc; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%;">Clean one room at a time
because you can stop right there if time runs out or you get bored. Stop half
an hour before you had planned, because then you won't be too exhausted to
clean up properly.</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: whitesmoke; color: #444444; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">So true! My
normal cleaning mode is “OMG so and so is coming around in 10 minutes and I need
to vacuum the whole house and clean the bog at LEAST.” By the time the person
has arrived I’m a sweating heap and in need of a rest, and they have to make
their own coffee! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">But one big thing
I took from the book was the LEVEL of cleaning that was expected, daily weekly
and even annually. I mean, do you take down your curtains every spring and have
them dry cleaned? Do you EVER hoover your sofa or mattress? (This is a weekly
job apparently). Is part of your weekly routine to clean all the cupboards out
and the fronts and dust all the high bits in the room and door frames?! How the
bloody hell did women ever get anything done if this was a guide to skipping
corners! How is taking down ALL YOUR CURTAINS skipping any corners? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">My thing is, if
it ain’t broke…don’t fix it! Cupboards need cleaning when something spills
(including fronts); curtains need cleaning if some outside force has interfered….spillages
/ mould / cats; cobwebs get dusted at BEST when I can be bothered. I’d LOVE to
have someone else do all of those things for me weekly but even I know that
this is beyond reasonable. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">But as I said
before, I am weirdly competitive. I need to know if we’re normal or if we’re
scumbags. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">So. In 2016: How
clean IS your house? What are your weekly routines? I need to see if our level
of cleanliness meets acceptable standards. Comment, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/MrsHelicopter/?ref=bookmarks" target="_blank">Facebook</a> or <a href="https://twitter.com/JessHelicopter" target="_blank">Tweet </a>me. I NEED TO KNOW, like NOW!!!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-25968660140830494242016-10-21T22:19:00.000+01:002016-11-05T23:24:38.184+00:00Periods Suck. <div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Periods.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> We've all had have 'em. Well those of us who are (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cisgender" target="_blank">cis</a>) ladies. And for most of the men I’ve met, you’re pretty familiar with them too. What you men are not familiar with however, is the <i>awfulness</i> that is
periods. Except for having to endure the mood swings of your
partners, treading on eggshells and possibly extra chocolate-buying
once a month.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">YES, PEOPLE, I AM
WRITING ABOUT PERIODS!</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-x_0CBtLH26I/WAqFygKplBI/AAAAAAAAlFA/seTqf8metNo5PTGDJ46OfYxFAMMO5ebGACLcB/s1600/lunar-eclipse-962802_960_720_edited.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-x_0CBtLH26I/WAqFygKplBI/AAAAAAAAlFA/seTqf8metNo5PTGDJ46OfYxFAMMO5ebGACLcB/s640/lunar-eclipse-962802_960_720_edited.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Periods have also
been in the news recently for a couple of reasons. The <a href="http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a48996/free-bleeding-protest/" target="_blank">free-bleeders</a>
protesting the <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-35845955" target="_blank">tampon tax</a>; the candid <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2016/aug/16/chinese-swimmer-fu-yuanhui-praised-for-breaking-periods-taboo" target="_blank">interview</a> that a Chinese
swimmer gave at the Olympics where she mentioned she’d been on her
period (but it was not to blame for her performance); And the fact
that more and more <a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/period-leave-menstruation-work-employment-uk-women-a6905426.html" target="_blank">companies</a> are now offering woman paid “<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/mar/02/uk-company-introduce-period-policy-female-staff" target="_blank">Menstrualleave</a>” to optimise their productivity in the <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-37438767" target="_blank">work place</a>.
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But I know for most
of us It’s still a very “eeeewwwy” inducing subject and I’m
pretty sure that includes MOST men. And I understand why. It IS grim.
It’s a grim event that often makes us ladies hyper paranoid about
personal hygiene and body odour. Let’s face it, it’s a disgusting
odour.
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> It is as baffling
to me as the fact that we have to IN THIS DAY AND AGE endure 9 months
of *gestational hell, that we still get to suffer the indignity,
emotional roller coaster, grossness and outright pain every month for
the majority of our lives. WHY? Why has there not been some brilliant, side-effect free procedure that kicks these things into touch until
they’re needed? I am beginning to seriously resent them.
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>*I didn't have very good pregnancies and admit this is not everyone's experience! </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I was lucky in that
mine didn’t start until I was 13. But when they started, boy. I
knew about it. They were pain city. Sharp as needles stabbing pains
right through my lower abdomen. I would have to go and lie in the
sick bay with a hot water bottle on a regular basis and that might be
the only time I was grateful my formative years were spent in an
all-girls school.
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But you grow up, and
you find ways to cope that make your life more “liveable” just
like the cringe-inducing <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asXw2a4kQLc" target="_blank">Bodyform</a> adverts of the 90s implored you to
do. I found painkillers that worked and switched from “perfumed”
pads to hide-it-away tampons. Side note…. Perfumed pads? Gagfest
more like. Nothing is gonna make that smell more pleasant, buster!
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have also spent my
entire adult life, whilst not duffed up, stuffing<a href="https://theperiodvitamin.com/evening-primrose-oil-pms.html" target="_blank"> Evening Primrose</a> or
Star-flower oil down my gob in an effort to ease the symptoms.
Doctors actually used to prescribe them to me before they started to
regulate alternative medicines but I still know 100% they make my
hormonal life better. And actually, save a few really rough
occasions, I didn’t have an awful time of it through most of my
adult life. A bit of pain and some wild mood swings but nothing that
majorly affected my everyday life.
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Until I had kids.
Wow. I was in no way prepared for how awful they would become post
kids. Pain….oh god the pain. When it’s not a dull ache that feels
like your lower back is trying to split apart from your torso, then
it’s a bloated feeling of cannon balls rolling around your lower
abdomen. Or the very worst… (graphic description warning)…. Lead
weights being attached by wires to your lady flaps pulling down,
down, down….ooooooooow! Or, just the normal stabby-needle in the
ovaries. Take your pick.
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then there’s the
mood swings. For the WHOLE month. Tears over NOTHING. Actually
weeping in complete confusion because things are brilliant but you
just feel SAD. Terrifying anger that makes you feel like the biggest,
most impatient, hell-fire bitch. But also totally justified in your
ludicrous irrationality at least until the hormones sending you
mental settle and then the guilt. The awful guilt. Or just the
wobbly, anxiety feeling that stuff doesn’t feel right. Again for no
apparent reason.
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The days when it’s
actually arrived and you feel sick, woozy, dizzy, clumsy and weak.
It’s hard to concentrate. You just want to lie down in quiet room
with a hot water bottle and make it go away.
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finally the
grossest bit. (Squeamish, look away now) The blood. The bleeding
through the super tampons in half an hour, the acute paranoia of
going out in public without layers of pads and tampons etc. etc. It
feels like the world is falling out of your foof. And it sucks. Big
time.
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And thanks to the
<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourth-wave_feminism" target="_blank">fourth wave</a>, it’s being discussed more openly now than ever before.
I know it has to be a conversation too. It’s why I’ve written
about it. The tampon tax is completely absurd and there is definitely
an environmental impact too. I don’t know how I feel about <a href="http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a41402/what-its-really-like-to-free-bleed-during-your-period/" target="_blank">freebleeders</a>, I get their point but I am still pathetic enough to be
grossed out by the hygiene issue. And I shamefacedly admit this is
why I won’t try using a <a href="http://www.mooncup.co.uk/" target="_blank">moon cup</a> either. The thought of fishing it
out, not spilling it over my clothes and washing it in the work
toilets' sink is a step beyond for me right now.
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I've written this whilst completely incapacitated by one. I've had to cancel uber fun plans which involved wine, good friends and family. I don't take kindly to this kind of inconvenience. It's made me a pathetic, sofa-bound, weepy baby today with no boozey fun to look forward to at the end of the day (because it makes me pukey whilst I'm bleeding). </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But we need to keep
talking about them anyway. Making them less taboo, try to get over the
grossness factor and realise that they affect a lot of women’s
lives, a lot of the time. Periods Suck. There I said it. </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
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</script>Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325371541418894143.post-41516478546989569162016-10-12T11:45:00.008+01:002021-10-28T09:44:10.461+01:00Who Loves A Bit of Dressing Up? <div class="MsoNoSpacing"><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Hands up who likes dressing up?
Are you a lover or a hater? Three guesses which I am. Of course I am. I am a
LOVER! I love that shiz to death! There is nothing more fun to me than making a
big old deal about something with full blown costume thrown in….it completely
adds to the excitement! If you give me an invite which has the immortal words
“Fancy Dress” on it…you can bet your bottom dollar, I’ll be there!</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">But why DO some people like to
dress up so much? Well, it’s a little bit of fantasy, isn’t it? You get to play
someone or something else for a few hours. You can completely change persona if
you feel like it! My parents had a 70s themed Ruby Wedding party and people
didn’t even recognise me. I loved it! “Look, it’s me JESS! ….see?” I was so over
excited, bless.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">It can also be quite ceremonial.
When a friend had her 40<sup>th</sup> a few years ago, after a long
struggle with cancer we were all instructed to come in medieval gowns and the
venue was the basement of a medieval castle. It felt really portenious and grand.
Everyone there who was in costume respected her wishes to be celebrated in a
way that she utterly deserved after such a shit time.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">It’s also a very traditional
thing to do, especially around Halloween. People used to go Mumming and Guising
(this is completely lifted from <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/325371541418894143/4151647854698956916"><span style="color: blue;">Wiki</span></a>) dressing in disguise and going from house
to house reciting songs for food. <o:p></o:p></span></p></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KE6XTs8N-uc/V_z7Vkk8w4I/AAAAAAAAkmo/YL_ACwd8h6Q1aaTMRKnPo3U9l7wc5I4zQCLcB/s1600/BeFunky%2BCollage.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif" style="font-family: helvetica;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KE6XTs8N-uc/V_z7Vkk8w4I/AAAAAAAAkmo/YL_ACwd8h6Q1aaTMRKnPo3U9l7wc5I4zQCLcB/s640/BeFunky%2BCollage.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
<div align="center"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br />I also wondered a about the psychology of dressing up and wanted to know there was a psychological explanation for those of us who love a face thick with paint/silly wigs /comical pants. And the two main theories I found were (loosely) that people who are drawn to fancy dress tend to be either people who like to reinvent themselves or people who are immature. Um… ok! *awkward face emoji* People who reinvent themselves tend to frequently change careers or can be social chameleons. Well, that is certainly true for me. I tend to adapt how I act to fit in with those around me. Which is probably not something I should admit to because it makes me sound like a phoney…but mostly I think I do it to make people who I am with feel comfortable. Actually, I am not sure that’s better. Now I sound completely sanctimonious! Oh god…I don’t know! <br /><br /><br />The other theory being that people like the childishness of dressing up. It’s a form of nostalgia, a recreation of the excitement we felt as kids when we did so. This is definitely true for me. I have tonnes of memories of fancy dress as a kid. My mum was a dab hand with a sewing kit and my folks were always up for dressing up parties. They had a legendary Sci Fi party when I was about 9 and I remember being equal parts in awe and horrified when a guy turned up with an alien bloodily bursting from his chest! <br /><br /><br />Is it true that men are not as fond of dressing up as women? I would love to hear your experiences. I know that I find it really attractive when a man is willing to not take himself too seriously. <br /><br /><br />In the last 20 years or so, a trend has emerged for girls (women) to dress up as “sexy” versions of Halloween characters. But what utterly baffles me is why there aren’t sexy MEN costumes (or are there?!) I was asking friends online about this earlier and realised that it really is just a female thing. Because you get “sexy witch” outfits but you sure as shit don’t get sexy wizard costumes! What is up with that?<br /> <br /><br />Now don’t get me wrong… I can dress like a ho as much as the next person…nothing wrong with wanting to display the goods…. but when it seems to be only a one-sided thing, I have serious what-the-fuck-itis. Give me a sexy Lord of Darkness please! <br /><br /><br />Sexy or not though, are you dressing up this year? What are you going as? Let me know!</span></div>
Mrs Helicopter Writeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05271416621429637280noreply@blogger.com30