Mrs Helicopter Writes

So I've just seen the Three Day Nanny (Kathryn Mewes) being interviewed on the This Morning couch. I have to say, I'd only ever watched one of her programmes because it felt like we'd seen it all before with Jo Supernanny. And actually she seemed a bit prissy (which is probably a bit mean). But she was talking about her struggle with her own new parenthood and loss of control with a newborn. I was hooked!  How brave to go on National TV and tell the UK that actually, when it came to having her own baby, she struggled like buggery to hold it together! She confessed that she even had someone else train her baby to sleep (although this begged the question who and where can we get one?!) whilst she snivelled down the end of the garden! My respect for her has gone through the roof.  One of the first things she said to Eamonn and Ruth was that she felt she had failed little Holly. That's EXACTLY HOW I FELT!  She went on to explain that after a 26 hour labour...

Retro 90s! It’s all OVER the place at the moment! People are lapping up those Madchester tunes, baggy trousers, bucket hats and days when you could smoke anywhere you liked. This Is England 90 ! (Admittedly immense television viewing) TFI Friday ! My MAD Fat Diary ! 90s themed nights! 90s themed parties! There are even 90s Fashion revival boards all over Pinterest and Guardian article s extolling the virtues of a time before trolling. This is a very strange time for me. My experience of the 90s was mostly brilliant but also a little bit mixed. I was a teenager for the most part (I was 16 in 1992) in school and then in Uni. So emotionally, seeing all of these programmes and getting caught up in the tidal wave of nostalgia isn’t a wholly pleasant experience. But then, is gorging on nostalgia ever a good thing? Obviously being a teenager is an exciting but difficult time for anyone. Working out your place in the world, convinced you’re a “grown up” but without the k...

Are you scared to call yourself a feminist? Even though you think you should be and you probably want to be and you might be already but...but.... really you’re just worried that someone:  a) Will suddenly expect you to list off all transgressions towards women since time began? And therefore cause you to have a hundred thousand counter arguments as to why you shouldn’t be? b) Will ask how you can be a Feminist if you wear make-up, care about your appearance, shave your armpits, are attracted to men, enjoy sex etc? c) Will think of you as some raging bra-burning radical hangover from the 70s who doesn’t wash and wears Birkenstocks? d) Will think you just hate men? (Oh bless her; she’s had a hard time with a fella, poor dab). e) Other? If you answer yes to one or all of these questions PLEASE don’t despair! Up until a few years ago, I don’t think I would feel brave enough to come out on social media and spout anything about Feminism. I actually studied gender i...

We are always told that failing is good for us . It teaches us. It helps us grow. We learn from our mistakes. But what if it doesn’t? What if it just makes us feel really, really bad about ourselves? What if constantly failing damages us psychologically and emotionally for a very long time? How is THAT good for us? And even if we do learn something from our experience, what if those lessons don’t outweigh the oppressive feeling of low self worth? Failing to look at the camera I don’t think of myself as a failure in life. Even I’m not that dramatic. I don’t think I’m a particularly negative person either. In fact quite recently I read an article about how optimistic people are always late....that MUST mean I’m an optimistic person, right?! But I have some big fat failures under my belt. And as they stack up over the years I am finding it increasingly difficult to shake the feeling that I am pretty shit at a lot of stuff. And that’s not great for anyone’s self worth. ...

I have just had the misfortune of making 3 separate attempts at trying to produce a photo that Customs and Excise will feel is the truest representation of my face. At a cost of fifteen, FIFTEEN of your British Earth Pounds! I tell you! I don’t have that kind of money to fanny around with! I’m already being robbed blind paying out nearly £100 smackers for the privilege of having an up-to-date passport just so I can prove that I am MYSELF in any given situation (because it sure as hell isn’t anything as fun as a HOLIDAY. Although the “fun-ness” of holidays at my time of life is debated here …). In the photo it’s required that there is a white background, my head needs to sit neatly between two markers on the screen, I must have nothing on my face, neck, head. I must show no facial expression and DEFINITELY NO SMILING. Official guidelines here . Photo 1: It was rejected by the kind ladies at the post office counter who after much too-ing and fro-ing because I wa...

Why do people moan on social media? My big, moaning face. You know the ones I mean, the ones who moan that they “haven’t sat down all day” and “every flipping traffic light was red” and “ugh, someone didn’t change the bog roll AGAIN” and “shit, the kids have been utter bastards ALL DAY AND I NEED WINE”. Familiar? That’s because you probably follow me. I’m that person. So why do I do it? Why do I think anyone ever wants to read me moaning like a miserable, old cow? Because it’s life. It’s normal for people to have things to moan about in their daily life. It’s how us lovely Brits like to get through the day! Especially if you happen to mention the weather (and how shit it is!). Absolutely no one can go to bed and say their day has been perfect from start to end. Unless they are a) lying or b) have had a lobotomy. Because everyone can relate to it. Everyone knows how frustrating it is to get to a bus stop as the bus pulls off; or how annoying it is when someo...

Is the “Parent Blogger” market saturated? There are now thousands of us out there churning out blog posts left, right and centre. But how many more great parent bloggers will come forward trying to be the next super high profile power blogger? All clamouring to be called up to write opinion pieces for well known media sources or even the TV Mecca, an appearance on This Morning! There is certainly a wide pool of genuinely talented writers out there, all willing to write pieces for online newspapers for free in the ambitious hope that the exposure will send them stratospheric. (Those papers have it sussed! Great content, written for free!) Where will it end? Will we all just implode into some big blogosphere black hole leaving a sorry trail of burnt out lap tops, tablets and PCs behind us? Sure, lots of us SAY that we are just blogging for ourselves....as a little hobby or some “me” time or as an online diary for our families to read or whatever. But who, really, is gonna turn ...