Mrs Helicopter Writes

Keeping up with the Kardashians…. A programme that divides and unites. I’m assuming that you’ve seen at least one episode but even if you haven’t, you’ll have most definitely seen and heard about the various members of the family. In my experience it tends to unite people in their shared negative opinions about their vacuous, vain, uber-privileged life style and perceived lack of discernible talent. I am here today to put forward an argument that most of the vitriol aimed at this family, in particular the daughters and specifically KIM, is based on  internalised misogyny and double standards and that there is more to selfie culture than just vanity. Lets get started with the first thing that people think about when the name “Kardashian” pops up: Kim’s 2003 sex tape. I haven’t linked to it, not because I don’t approve of it, but because it was sold without her consent. What, a woman didn’t give consent and the guy didn’t face any consequences? Welcome to the rape culture of...

Let’s tackle some ridiculous myths about not labelling kids toys and clothes with specific genders OK? Because flipping HECK, I’ve heard some bloody stupid stuff making the rounds. From people who really aren’t stupid and should definitely know better. It’s over a year since John Lewis took down their signs for “boy’s clothes” and “girl’s clothes” in store but it seems there are still a lot of people out there who haven’t grasped the concept. I’m gonna break it down for you: Gender Neutral Clothing / Toy sections aren’t full of beige clothes / toys or not trucks or dolls. This is the silliest thing I’ve heard so far. That all kids clothes will become grey and beige…. akin to when you hedging your bets buying baby clothes pre birth. No. It means that we stop deciding for kids what colours they are limited to wearing / toys they are limited to playing with. If anything, the best thing any clothing or toy shop could do, right now, is add MORE colours to their palate. I’v...

What it means to be a Feminist has changed. It’s constantly changing and definitely for the better. We live in a society where we are aware of what everyone thinks about everything is broadcast all over social media 24/7. So Feminism is becoming more accessible and less exclusive. It’s less about anger and more about wanting everyone to have equal opportunities regardless of gender/race/sexuality and ability. And being aware of your place in the  privilege  hierarchy whilst you’re doing it. I really became aware of what Feminist meant when I was at Uni. I never felt like boys and girls weren’t completely equal and thinking otherwise was absurd. I'd grown up never consciously feeling "less" than my male peers. But now, at Uni, I had a name for this feeling. So I decided to do a gender studies course which of course confirmed that yes indeed, I was a feminist. However, this was the mid-90s. It was the 3 rd wave of feminism…. what I learnt about feminism then inti...

Christmas is without a shadow of a doubt my favourite time of year. I am super lucky because growing up my family really invested in creating traditions and making it a magical time of year for us. Not with money, we didn’t have much of that growing up, but just with making such a big fuss of the season. So for me it’s still a magical time of celebration, happiness and fun with the added bonus of living that magic vicariously through my children. But this year, something changed. The stress outweighed the excitement of the season and I almost had a breakdown. I started to have panic attacks and I had to go and see my *counsellor to get me through the holidays. I can’t say I actually decompressed until several days after Christmas day, despite having lovely times in between. But I just wanted it to be over. I couldn’t cope with the weight of expectation laid so heavily at my door. Laid at the door of the wife, the daughter, the mother, the granddaughter, the daughter-in-law. And ...

Motherland is a relatively new comedy series on the BBC that follows a modern, middle class white working woman and her struggles with balancing childcare, cliquey playground mums, an unhelpful grandparent and an absent/selfish father. Whilst I do think it’s very funny, and in some ways quite perceptive, I am also depressed as shit about a few key details. And I actually don’t think it’s helpful to have another TV series which represents childcare as solely a woman’s responsibility, however hilarious and possibly true to life it is. I do get that art reflects life so in this instance the popularity of this show is down to the fact that mothers see their lives reflected back at them. That IS the experience of many women in the UK right now. They work and they struggle and they sort out the childcare. But if we keep portraying that as the norm on screen, it’s not going to change anything is it? At some point, instead of saying this is your experience...isn’t it shit? How about ch...

The Weinstein thing. It’s everywhere right now. Big (male) Hollywood Producer in casting couch shocker. The term originated there. I am GLAD it’s everywhere, but it’s about time. Finally more and more men who have abused their positions of power are being held accountable. And it’s obviously creating a wave of emotion from people who have experienced sexual harassment. I’ve seen quite a few girls on Twitter who have felt “triggered” by the news events recently and have had to come off social media to preserve their mental health. Which completely makes sense, despite it being a desperately sad situation. But then I realised. I’ve been sexually harassed. I’ve been sexually harassed loads in fact. And do you know why that fact has only just occurred to me? Because I’d always just dismissed it as expected behaviour from the environment I was in. I’ll expand. I’ve have had my bum pinched by a male teacher, aged 9. Thought it was normal (actually I thought it was a...

Pop Quiz: Are you a toxic slut-shamer or not? You walk into a restaurant and you notice a slender woman in a super low cut top, short skirt and smooth legs up to her armpits. Do you think: a)    Woah, she’s hot! b)    Woah, she’s brave! c)    Woah, wish I had those… (whatever) d)    Eeeew, put it away love! e)    I wonder what the specials are today? I will confess. Up until not long ago, I would have probably thought a combination of  a) c) and…. shamefully… d). Yes I would have been a bit grossed out by all the sexiness on display. I was definitely a toxic slut-shamer. I quite clearly remember expressing disgust at picture of Jane Goldman at some awards thing and the words “cow’s udders” being muttered (from my own lips…). I’m hugely embarrassed by this now though. I suck. But I’m woke! My only defence is that there is a deeply ingrained whore-hatred in our society. We are taught either directly (by rel...

I often wonder how clean other people’s houses REALLY are. You see, I am an awful mix of complete neat freak and terminally lazy. I think people who often have WAY too much going on in their heads often have neat-freak tendencies. If I can “just sort this room out” then my brain will be all calm and my thoughts will be in order. Perhaps it’s a sign of an anxious person. “I got all these things to think through AND a stinky, messy pit to clean up…GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Actually. That does sound like me. And I like my house to be clean. REALLY clean and tidy at ALL times. But it isn’t. And it never has been. Even before I had kids. Even when I only had one cat or even when I lived abroad and had NO cats. It was never, ever shiny spick and span. Because as with everything in life, my expectations do not meet reality. So then I wonder how clean other people’s houses are. Because I am secretly weirdly competitive about stupid things like this. Now, I am not talking about the super...