The Weinstein
thing. It’s everywhere right now. Big (male) Hollywood Producer in
casting couch shocker. The term originated there. I am GLAD it’s
everywhere, but it’s about time. Finally more and more men who have
abused their positions of power are being held accountable.
And it’s obviously
creating a wave of emotion from people who have experienced sexual
harassment. I’ve seen quite a few girls on Twitter who have felt
“triggered” by the news events recently and have had to come off
social media to preserve their mental health. Which completely makes
sense, despite it being a desperately sad situation.
But then I realised.
I’ve been sexually harassed. I’ve been sexually harassed loads in
fact. And do you know why that fact has only just occurred to me?
Because I’d always just dismissed it as expected behaviour from the
environment I was in. I’ll expand.
I’ve have had my
bum pinched by a male teacher, aged 9. Thought it was normal
(actually I thought it was a bit
weird but not enough to say anything to anyone).
I’ve
had my bum patted so many times by so many different men that I can’t
even remember numbers.
I’ve
had my boobs grabbed, and felt up by strangers in bars, night clubs.
I’ve
been forcefully kissed on the mouth by a man I was arguing with.
I’ve
had my PUSSY grabbed at by a man in a disgusting pub in Canton,
Cardiff. And when I protested this, of course I was called a frigid,
lesbian bitch. The stock response. Again I've lost count of how many times I've been accused of either or both.
I’ve
never put up with it. I’ve ALWAYS called out whoever has done the
grabbing, rubbing, touching. None of it was invited and where I was
(in a club/bar) and what I was wearing (maybe a low cut top) NEVER meant I
sanctioned being TOUCHED by a stranger. I’ve had many verbal fights
with men and a lot of “almost” physical fights before being
pulled away by my friends / boyfriend (who mostly got the stick for
not controlling his “bitch”).
Now
I am lucky. None of these events have traumatised me. They’ve stayed
with me. They’ve hardened my determination to see that women get
treated more equally in society. Inevitably they HAVE made me feel
bitter and angry that we have to put up with being treated like bits
of meat in a butchers shop. But I don’t bear the scars and for that I
am grateful.
I
am not alone though am I? I am willing to bet that most
women who read this will also
have, at some time in their lives, been on the receiving end of unwanted touching. Or
behaviour that has made them feel uncomfortable… like wolf
whistling (For which we must all respond graciously for fear of being
told we were ugly / fat / disgusting in the first place).
But
this is the thing. We’ve grown up expecting it. Even though MOST of
us hate it, we know that we have to “just put up with it” because
it’s just a bit of fun, isn’t it? It’s a compliment!
Does
that seem like an “equal” society to you? That one sex can
predominantly make the other sex feel uncomfortable? Of course there
are plenty of instances where the tables are turned. Women groping
men. I had a friend who would regularly grab men when she was drunk.
They were visibly repulsed by it most of the time. Unsurprisingly.
But I don’t condone that either. Of course not!
No
one needs to touch ANYONE else, unless they are invited to. Lets stop
acting like it’s OK.
PLEASE
let this persuade you that we still need feminism! Having your bum
pinched is a feminist issue! REPRESENT!!!!
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