Mrs Helicopter Writes

Ah shite. I’ve become THAT mum. The mum of a teen who wants to scream JUST YOU WAIT! I mean, I say I WANT to scream because I know I shouldn’t. But I did, accidentally, to a colleague the other day. She was talking about her niece battling a newly emerged three-anger from a very docile 2 yr old. And it just came out by mistake. I was mid-way through half term, half working, half battling bored kids. Stressed, thinking about all the things I need to do and haven’t done.   So, I blurted it. “Ugh, she should wait til they’re teens! Constant but incomprehensible anger, unmitigated selfishness and they NEVER go to bed”. My colleague, bless her, defended her niece. As well she should. “Well, she’s finding it pretty tough”. I felt awful. Of course, she is! Having a small, unreasonable being who doesn’t know if they want peas/chips/yogurt even when they have it in their hands, is exhausting. The tantrums leave you wrecked, you’ve likely been awake super early, no daytime naps to ha...

Periods.  We've all had have 'em. Well those of us who are ( cis ) ladies. And for most of the men I’ve met, you’re pretty familiar with them too. What you men are not familiar with however, is the awfulness that is periods. Except for having to endure the mood swings of your partners, treading on eggshells and possibly extra chocolate-buying once a month. YES, PEOPLE, I AM WRITING ABOUT PERIODS! Periods have also been in the news recently for a couple of reasons. The free-bleeders protesting the tampon tax ; the candid interview that a Chinese swimmer gave at the Olympics where she mentioned she’d been on her period (but it was not to blame for her performance); And the fact that more and more companies are now offering woman paid “ Menstrualleave ” to optimise their productivity in the work place . But I know for most of us It’s still a very “eeeewwwy” inducing subject and I’m pretty sure that includes MOST men. And I understand why. It IS grim. It...

Why do people moan on social media? My big, moaning face. You know the ones I mean, the ones who moan that they “haven’t sat down all day” and “every flipping traffic light was red” and “ugh, someone didn’t change the bog roll AGAIN” and “shit, the kids have been utter bastards ALL DAY AND I NEED WINE”. Familiar? That’s because you probably follow me. I’m that person. So why do I do it? Why do I think anyone ever wants to read me moaning like a miserable, old cow? Because it’s life. It’s normal for people to have things to moan about in their daily life. It’s how us lovely Brits like to get through the day! Especially if you happen to mention the weather (and how shit it is!). Absolutely no one can go to bed and say their day has been perfect from start to end. Unless they are a) lying or b) have had a lobotomy. Because everyone can relate to it. Everyone knows how frustrating it is to get to a bus stop as the bus pulls off; or how annoying it is when someo...