I am so angry. I am raging. I can barely concentrate. But I have to because I have to work. And I have to parent. So I have to do everything I can to mask this anger because it is not the fault of anyone else but me. My rage. My fury. But I have to control it. I want to bark at my daughter who doesn’t want to wear her new shoes to school BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE DOESN’T. She doesn’t want to clean her teeth or in fact, do anything else I ask her to do because I have dared to ask her to do it. It took us all day, from the minute she woke up, to get her to shower yesterday. She finally did so at 7pm. But I don’t bark. She knows I am angry. She can sense it. She can see it whilst I storm around the kitchen. WHERE ARE MY KEYS? I keep telling her it’s not her fault and that I am not angry at her but I know she feels a bit scared. This is fucking awful. I don’t want her to be scared. But I don’t know how else to reassure her when I have to be in her company. I have to walk her to scho
If you're someone who struggles to sleep *flings hand up* then you are possibly obsessed, like me, with how other people sleep. How do people sleep? How can anyone EVER sleep?! You may be one of those super lucky people who can sleep on a chicken’s lip! You put your head on the pillow and poof! You're asleep! You absolute lucky dabber. My relationship with sleep has always been weird. Apparently, I slept well as a baby. I was a very early riser, but I needed my bed early. I remember in Junior school my bedtime was always earlier than my friends. Boo! No Adrian Mole for me! But if I got overtired, I would get really nauseous and often actually vom. (Bad times for my vom-averse mother!) As an adult I've had lots of bouts of bad sleep especially during stressful periods. I remember visiting a lavender farm in Oz and left convinced that the "sleep balm" I'd bought held the key to the secrets of sleep! It didn't. My pregnancies were tricky, and sleep was