Mrs Helicopter Writes

Let’s tackle some ridiculous myths about not labelling kids toys and clothes with specific genders OK? Because flipping HECK, I’ve heard some bloody stupid stuff making the rounds. From people who really aren’t stupid and should definitely know better. It’s over a year since John Lewis took down their signs for “boy’s clothes” and “girl’s clothes” in store but it seems there are still a lot of people out there who haven’t grasped the concept. I’m gonna break it down for you: Gender Neutral Clothing / Toy sections aren’t full of beige clothes / toys or not trucks or dolls. This is the silliest thing I’ve heard so far. That all kids clothes will become grey and beige…. akin to when you hedging your bets buying baby clothes pre birth. No. It means that we stop deciding for kids what colours they are limited to wearing / toys they are limited to playing with. If anything, the best thing any clothing or toy shop could do, right now, is add MORE colours to their palate. I’v...

What it means to be a Feminist has changed. It’s constantly changing and definitely for the better. We live in a society where we are aware of what everyone thinks about everything is broadcast all over social media 24/7. So Feminism is becoming more accessible and less exclusive. It’s less about anger and more about wanting everyone to have equal opportunities regardless of gender/race/sexuality and ability. And being aware of your place in the  privilege  hierarchy whilst you’re doing it. I really became aware of what Feminist meant when I was at Uni. I never felt like boys and girls weren’t completely equal and thinking otherwise was absurd. I'd grown up never consciously feeling "less" than my male peers. But now, at Uni, I had a name for this feeling. So I decided to do a gender studies course which of course confirmed that yes indeed, I was a feminist. However, this was the mid-90s. It was the 3 rd wave of feminism…. what I learnt about feminism then inti...

Motherland is a relatively new comedy series on the BBC that follows a modern, middle class white working woman and her struggles with balancing childcare, cliquey playground mums, an unhelpful grandparent and an absent/selfish father. Whilst I do think it’s very funny, and in some ways quite perceptive, I am also depressed as shit about a few key details. And I actually don’t think it’s helpful to have another TV series which represents childcare as solely a woman’s responsibility, however hilarious and possibly true to life it is. I do get that art reflects life so in this instance the popularity of this show is down to the fact that mothers see their lives reflected back at them. That IS the experience of many women in the UK right now. They work and they struggle and they sort out the childcare. But if we keep portraying that as the norm on screen, it’s not going to change anything is it? At some point, instead of saying this is your experience...isn’t it shit? How about ch...

The Weinstein thing. It’s everywhere right now. Big (male) Hollywood Producer in casting couch shocker. The term originated there. I am GLAD it’s everywhere, but it’s about time. Finally more and more men who have abused their positions of power are being held accountable. And it’s obviously creating a wave of emotion from people who have experienced sexual harassment. I’ve seen quite a few girls on Twitter who have felt “triggered” by the news events recently and have had to come off social media to preserve their mental health. Which completely makes sense, despite it being a desperately sad situation. But then I realised. I’ve been sexually harassed. I’ve been sexually harassed loads in fact. And do you know why that fact has only just occurred to me? Because I’d always just dismissed it as expected behaviour from the environment I was in. I’ll expand. I’ve have had my bum pinched by a male teacher, aged 9. Thought it was normal (actually I thought it was a...

Pop Quiz: Are you a toxic slut-shamer or not? You walk into a restaurant and you notice a slender woman in a super low cut top, short skirt and smooth legs up to her armpits. Do you think: a)    Woah, she’s hot! b)    Woah, she’s brave! c)    Woah, wish I had those… (whatever) d)    Eeeew, put it away love! e)    I wonder what the specials are today? I will confess. Up until not long ago, I would have probably thought a combination of  a) c) and…. shamefully… d). Yes I would have been a bit grossed out by all the sexiness on display. I was definitely a toxic slut-shamer. I quite clearly remember expressing disgust at picture of Jane Goldman at some awards thing and the words “cow’s udders” being muttered (from my own lips…). I’m hugely embarrassed by this now though. I suck. But I’m woke! My only defence is that there is a deeply ingrained whore-hatred in our society. We are taught either directly (by rel...

Here are the seven ways I fail at gender-neutral parenting:  1) I painted my daughter’s new bedroom peach and bright yellow and my 6 yr old boy’s bedroom grey and black. 2) I bought some “boy” and “girl” toys for the party bags for my son’s birthday. Including prett y stickers & hair clips vs robot stickers & cars. 3) My son loves football and my daughter loves dancing. I actively encourage both. 4) Gus had Thomas the Tank crockery when he was little. I bought Joni Peppa Pig stuff when she came along. 5) Gus’s wardrobe was lots of reds, yellows, greens as well as blue when he was little but now his wardrobe is made up of black, brown and grey. Joni has those colours too but also ALL the colours and a big dollop of yellow, pink and purple. 6) Gus had fairly neutral toys until about one but then he was drawn towards cars, trains and balls. So that’s what we bought. Joni was obsessed with dolls by the age of one. Admittedly introduced by the c...

I’m gonna sum up this post with a little pop quiz before delving into the nitty gritty. Are you a woman? Do/did you want kids? = JUDGEMENT REGARDLESS OF ANSWER. Are you a man? Do/did you want kids? = JUDGEMENT? Not so much. I just watched a segment on daytime TV behemoth This Morning, about the pressures of being a childless woman which stemmed from NicolaSturgeon announcing that she’s suffered a miscarriage in 2011. Does Nicola Sturgeon suffering a miscarriage have an effect on your perception of her as a human? Does it have an effect on your opinion of her ability to do her job? Sadly I think the answer for most is yes and yes. “Yes I feel like we see a more relatable side to her now we know she WANTED to have kids but has not been able to.” This is because it’s seen in our society as a natural, instinctive response to being a woman...the desire to have kids. Women who don’t want to are often castigated as cold-hearted career women. SELFISH even in wanting ...

Feminism and Makeup – Friends or Foe? Vaj lips.  It’s an oldie but a goodie: should Feminists wear makeup? If you’ve read this then or ever even seen a picture of me you’ll probably have an inkling of my opinion about this. But firstly let’s look at why are / were Feminists so anti makeup? Whilst the first wave of Feminism concerned itself with basic rights of Women in society such as getting the vote, second wave feminists of 60s and 70s began to call for women to reject anything that would subjugate them in the eyes of men. What I mean by this is that Second Wave feminists felt that one of the ways that men controlled women was by creating a society which treated them solely as sexual objects. Makeup is there purely to make a women look like she’s in the throes of wild sex! Black lined eyes= dilated (sexually aroused) pupils! Blusher=flushed sex cheeks, bright red lips = engorged labia. Yes, you are apparently trying to look like a vagina lips with that Mac Ruby Woo! ...

Are you scared to call yourself a feminist? Even though you think you should be and you probably want to be and you might be already but...but.... really you’re just worried that someone:  a) Will suddenly expect you to list off all transgressions towards women since time began? And therefore cause you to have a hundred thousand counter arguments as to why you shouldn’t be? b) Will ask how you can be a Feminist if you wear make-up, care about your appearance, shave your armpits, are attracted to men, enjoy sex etc? c) Will think of you as some raging bra-burning radical hangover from the 70s who doesn’t wash and wears Birkenstocks? d) Will think you just hate men? (Oh bless her; she’s had a hard time with a fella, poor dab). e) Other? If you answer yes to one or all of these questions PLEASE don’t despair! Up until a few years ago, I don’t think I would feel brave enough to come out on social media and spout anything about Feminism. I actually studied gender i...