For
International Women’s Day I want to celebrate all the glorious
women in my life. I’m so lucky to have some amazing ladies around
me. I thought about trying to write something worthy. Something about
trying to celebrate unheard women’s voices from around the world,
but as David Lammy pointed out about Comic Relief, it’s time we let
their own voices be heard. We don’t need another white, middle
class woman clumsily trying to write about inclusivity, without
awareness of privilege or agency on the subject.
So. I’m just gonna write about my mates and my family. My female loves. To tell them how much I appreciate them, need them and adore them.
The
Girls Who Are My Rocks
I
don’t have a “girl gang” or “tribe”. But I have a fantastic
selection of super close friends who I’ve made since leaving
school. They’re an eclectic bunch. I met them all over the place:
Uni, work, friends of friends, family friends I’ve known since we
were teens, Zumba, baby classes (which weirdly wasn’t the reason I
signed up to NCT classes but was the reason I returned), some through
my kid's schools and a chunk I’ve met through writing.
These
are the girls I turn to for coffee or messenger/whats app convos
about homework or inset days. The girls I go for coffee with after
school drop off, who made maternity leaves cope-able, the ones who
took me to soft play cos I couldn’t drive, the ones who I gossip
with endlessly about school politics. The ones who made my mornings
bearable when I wanted to cry after another battle on the school run
or even worse in the playground (with everyone staring...don’t tell
me you haven’t been there!).
There
are the girls I spent my 20s getting drunk and ridiculous with. The
ones with history. Our kids are different ages, everyone is at
different stages but we still make time to check in on each other as
much as we can. And never let it go too long without wine and food
and longer conversations that won’t fit into our whats app group
chats. These are the girls who know all my secrets, I can turn to for
anything and have been there for me through thick and thin.
There
are the girls I don’t see so much because we don’t live close but
we chat almost daily if not weekly (thanks whats app again!). Ones
who when we get together no one comes up for air for 5 hours
straight. The girls I can talk to about almost anything and who make
me laugh til I cry (or at least annoy my husband when I am weeping
hysterical tears over my phone).
There’s
the friends who are close but also double up as WHOLE family friends
so the kids and the blokes get on and we spend the whole days trying
to fit in “catching up” conversations, food, “appropriate”
conversations (hard) and slurping coffee whilst herding kids around
National Trust properties (cliché) in a bid to exhaust them so we
can shove them in front of a film at home, open the booze, swear
freely and lament our “going out” days.
The
Women Who Made Me
My Mum. The second person I ring in an emergency. Or the first if it’s
a ridiculous emergency (most of the time and not really an
emergency). The person who’s advice I may ignore but I want it
anyway, the person who is honest, who wants the best for me, who
supports me but keeps me grounded. The person who I giggle at with
about nothing annoying my husband and dad simultaneously, the person
who will pour the wine whether its good news or bad or will let me
weep on her sofa when I’m not able to adult. The person who always
told me I was beautiful when I was sad, and never expected too much
when I was in school, never made me feel pressured to be a certain
way or fit in any mould. The person who bought me up to never
question my equality with the opposite sex. The best person to go on
a spa day with.
My
long departed Nana, who loved me unconditionally. Spoilt me rotten
and made me feel like the most special little girl in the world.
She’s probably to blame for my terrible ego to be fair. The person
who’s house I hid in during my monstrous teenage years. The
kindest, silliest, loveliest person. She was my foundation. I was so
lucky to have had her.
My
crazy Grandmother. She’s not a saint, she’s made me cry many
times. But she’s also given me a wild yearning to travel, to know
about other cultures, to know about history, her history and my
dad’s. She’s hilarious and fun and bonkers, and despite the
crying I know she loves me fiercely and I her too. She’s one of the
most sociable people I've ever met and I think I get her need for
company from her.
I
need my girls. All these women enhance my life in ways I can barely
begin to describe. I haven’t really done any of them enough justice
and this is a ludicrously self indulgent post. But I just wanted to
share how lucky I am to have them all in my life. And this
International Women’s Day I will be celebrating them all!
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