Mrs Helicopter Writes

After the events in Manchester this week I’ve been thinking a lot about comparisons in life. At a time like this you can’t help but look for deeper meaning in the universe....and for me part of that is about comparing what I have with what others do. When scary events shake your sense of stability in the world… families and friends devastated for the rest of their lives for daring to go to concert and have fun…. It's inevitable to feel grateful for your life and the life of your loved ones. The horror and sadness you feel for the victims and their families and the gratitude and relief you feel for your babies/partners/siblings/parents/friends will be overwhelming. As the clichéd memes proclaim, you WILL want to hug your loved ones a little closer. So that’s a comparison. Obviously. A positive comparison, right? But, hang on. Aren’t we taught that "comparison is the thief of joy"? Cos according to good ol' Teddy Roosevelt it is! How can that make ...

This week we have World Mental Health Day, so I thought I’d write a bit about my experience of anxiety and panic attacks. I know that when I was in the height of my panic disorder it was a great comfort to me to talk to people who knew what I was going though. It’s a pretty unique ordeal and for fellow sufferers: I feel your pain. Or more specifically, your fear. And for those of you who have never had depression or anxiety, it can be quite difficult to understand how it feels. Why you can't just "pull yourself together" or "cheer up". Logic and common sense have absolutely no bearing on mental illness.  So if you have never been in receipt of the delight that is a panic / anxiety attack, let me attempt to describe what it feels like to the uninitiated: Imagine you’re just going about your day. You’re doing something fairly innocuous like sitting on the bus or doing the washing up. You’re not thinking about anything in particular, nothing sad or happy o...

I often wonder how clean other people’s houses REALLY are. You see, I am an awful mix of complete neat freak and terminally lazy. I think people who often have WAY too much going on in their heads often have neat-freak tendencies. If I can “just sort this room out” then my brain will be all calm and my thoughts will be in order. Perhaps it’s a sign of an anxious person. “I got all these things to think through AND a stinky, messy pit to clean up…GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Actually. That does sound like me. And I like my house to be clean. REALLY clean and tidy at ALL times. But it isn’t. And it never has been. Even before I had kids. Even when I only had one cat or even when I lived abroad and had NO cats. It was never, ever shiny spick and span. Because as with everything in life, my expectations do not meet reality. So then I wonder how clean other people’s houses are. Because I am secretly weirdly competitive about stupid things like this. Now, I am not talking about the super...

Periods.  We've all had have 'em. Well those of us who are ( cis ) ladies. And for most of the men I’ve met, you’re pretty familiar with them too. What you men are not familiar with however, is the awfulness that is periods. Except for having to endure the mood swings of your partners, treading on eggshells and possibly extra chocolate-buying once a month. YES, PEOPLE, I AM WRITING ABOUT PERIODS! Periods have also been in the news recently for a couple of reasons. The free-bleeders protesting the tampon tax ; the candid interview that a Chinese swimmer gave at the Olympics where she mentioned she’d been on her period (but it was not to blame for her performance); And the fact that more and more companies are now offering woman paid “ Menstrualleave ” to optimise their productivity in the work place . But I know for most of us It’s still a very “eeeewwwy” inducing subject and I’m pretty sure that includes MOST men. And I understand why. It IS grim. It...

Hands up who likes dressing up? Are you a lover or a hater? Three guesses which I am. Of course I am. I am a LOVER! I love that shiz to death! There is nothing more fun to me than making a big old deal about something with full blown costume thrown in….it completely adds to the excitement! If you give me an invite which has the immortal words “Fancy Dress” on it…you can bet your bottom dollar, I’ll be there! But why DO some people like to dress up so much? Well, it’s a little bit of fantasy, isn’t it? You get to play someone or something else for a few hours. You can completely change persona if you feel like it! My parents had a 70s themed Ruby Wedding party and people didn’t even recognise me. I loved it! “Look, it’s me JESS! ….see?” I was so over excited, bless. It can also be quite ceremonial. When a friend had her 40 th  a few years ago, after a long struggle with cancer we were all instructed to come in medieval gowns and the venue was the basement of a medieval castle. I...

Here are the seven ways I fail at gender-neutral parenting:  1) I painted my daughter’s new bedroom peach and bright yellow and my 6 yr old boy’s bedroom grey and black. 2) I bought some “boy” and “girl” toys for the party bags for my son’s birthday. Including prett y stickers & hair clips vs robot stickers & cars. 3) My son loves football and my daughter loves dancing. I actively encourage both. 4) Gus had Thomas the Tank crockery when he was little. I bought Joni Peppa Pig stuff when she came along. 5) Gus’s wardrobe was lots of reds, yellows, greens as well as blue when he was little but now his wardrobe is made up of black, brown and grey. Joni has those colours too but also ALL the colours and a big dollop of yellow, pink and purple. 6) Gus had fairly neutral toys until about one but then he was drawn towards cars, trains and balls. So that’s what we bought. Joni was obsessed with dolls by the age of one. Admittedly introduced by the c...

Autumn is the most exciting time of year, hands down. WHY? Firstly, because Spring is an expectation for a summer we never usually have. Winter is one month of festive fun and two months of misery and darkness… and UK summer.... the desperate hope that we will have a warm, dry summer…immediately dashed up the arrival of howling winds and driving rain on August 1st. All summer sun well and truly over before the kids holidays. Do kids these days even know what a hosepipe ban IS?! I think in this country especially, that’s probably a big part of why we love the arrival of Autumn. Summer in the UK these days is just so goddamn disappointing. Even though we may have a good run in June and July, as soon as the holiday starts ...dull, grey days, wind. Interspersed with a few nice days here and there. Possibly a one day heat wave bringing a big surge of hope that it’ll stick around only to wake to gale force ten battering your windows the following morning. Of course there are (crazy) pe...