It’s
shit when your mate dies. It’s shit shit shit.
Even
if you knew it was gonna happen, it’s still shit.
Like,
everyone is going to die at some point yeah?
But
she was gonna die sooner.
You
knew she was gonna die soon.
Like,
some day soon but you didn’t know exactly when.
And
then she did.
And
it’s shit.
It’s
shit when your mate gets cancer.
Even
though everyone knows someone who’s had it.
But
it wasn’t her.
And
now it is.
And
it’s shit.
It’s
shit when your mate,
who’s
only a bit younger than you,
gets
cancer.
And
she’s like, got a brilliant happy life.
She’s
got a fab job and she’s gonna go really far cos she’s so
brilliant.
She’s brilliant.
She’s brilliant.
She’s
funny.
She’s
clever.
She’s
silly.
She’s
crazy.
She’s
talented.
She
takes no shit.
She
tried REALLY hard at taking no shit from cancer.
She
didn’t take shit from cancer for a long time.
For
8 years she fought it like a motherfucker.
She
didn’t want to be a cliché.
She
wasn’t a cliché.
She
was unique.
But
she really was.
She
had the craziest laugh you’ve ever heard.
Think
crazy.
Times
it by a million.
Doesn’t
even come close.
Then
she had a lump.
And
the doctors all said it was fine.
Again.
And
again.
And
again.
But
it wasn’t.
But
when the idiots in white coats finally believed her,
She
had a shit time.
But
then,
she
kicked cancer’s butt.
And
she THREW herself into life.
She
grabbed every opportunity that came her way.
With
both hands.
And
a manic laugh.
And
she lived and lived and lived.
Then
she felt shit again.
She
couldn’t laugh her crazy laugh without feeling shit.
She
couldn’t move her arm up without feeling shit.
And
she went back to the white coat idiots.
And
guess what?
They
said she was fine.
Again.
And
again.
And
again.
But
she’s wasn’t.
She
was in the shit.
As
in, a baked potato sized shit lump,
Wrapped
around her collar bone.
Making
her feel shit.
And
they gave her 6 months to live.
And
again, she fought like a motherfucker.
And
she lived as hard as she could.
And
she did live.
She
lived for 2.5 more years of butt kicking brilliance.
Some
of the time it was shit.
It
was very shit.
It
hurt in so many shit ways.
But
she still laughed her crazy laugh.
And
she made thousands of people fall in love with her crazy laugh.
And
she made people who felt shit,
feel
less shit.
But
as I said.
It’s
shit when your mate gets cancer.
It’s
shit when you know your mate will die from cancer.
It’s
shit when your mate does die from cancer.
It’s
shit shit shit.
It’s
shit for the stupid shit pointlessness of it.
It’s
shit because she had so much more to do.
It’s shit because of how much she wanted to do that shit.
It’s shit because of how much she wanted to do that shit.
It’s
shit because of how brilliant she was.
It’s
shit because of how brilliant she would have been at doing that shit.
And
it’s shit because she won’t do that shit.
It’s
shit when your mate dies. It’s shit shit shit.
Bye
Bye Row Row. You crazy faced loon. I’m sorry it was so shit.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
There really is nothing else to say, but to agree. Strength and love to you and to all of those who loved her.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jenny Xxx
DeleteMuch love to you all.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kellie. xXX
DeleteOh darling, I followed Row Rows story after seeing the article you shared about her bucket list. She was one amazing lady! You must feel so proud of her. Xxx
ReplyDeleteYes! I feel SO proud of her. Thank you darling. Xxxxx
Deleteyou have put it well honey - it is shit - cancer is shit - we will drink soon to her wonderful silly laugh and joie de vivre XXXX
ReplyDeleteOh man, this has me in tears.
ReplyDeleteYour mate sounds like the best sort of loon, so shitty that cancer stole her from you xx
Oh sorry to make you cry. :( It's shit. It's shittest for her. It's still too weird that she's gone.
Delete